3 weeks into nsg program, he wants to quit...

elizabells, BSN, RN · Sep 19, 2005

I definitely agree that sometimes kids have to fall on our butts before we figure things out - I absolutely did.

Something else my dad told me (I know, I post too many of his sayings!) - sometimes you're so afraid you won't be good enough that you don't try. If you don't try, you can't fail, and you can always tell yourself that if you HAD tried, you could have done it.

Montessori Mommy · Sep 19, 2005

I'm just a few weeks into nursing school as a 38 year old changing careers. I know this is what I want, and academically, I'm doing very well.

I have to admit that the stress has made me consider quitting. (Granted, I have an engineering degree to fall back upon!) The anxiety of doing something totally new is very scary. Maybe your son is in the same situation and he either can't identify the source of the feeling, or he doesn't want to talk about it. Perhaps you could share how you remember feeling during school. Maybe it would get him to open up a bit....

Best of luck,

Beth

wonderbee, BSN, RN · Sep 19, 2005

I feel your pain. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It seems like such a waste of precious resources. The motivation has to come from within himself. He has his own journey now, with his own forks in the road and dead ends. All we can do as parents is provide a map. You're still dealing with what is essentially a teenager with a driver license. I sense your anger and frustration and he probably does too which makes it increasingly more your issue than his, from his perspective. Keep it about him. Keep talking to him and ask him what's really the problem.

Good luck to you and to your son.

Catys_With_Me · Sep 19, 2005

Give him advice, share the benefit of your wisdom and experience, but allow him to go his own direction. What you see as immaturity and irresponsibility may actually be him pulling back simply because he's going through an adult process of rethinking the road he's on. As you said he has a history of being an outstanding student, he's capable of applying and motivating himself, so there's a reason he's not now. Perhaps he's simply in the process of taking the first painful (more for you?) steps involved in discovering that it often takes the closing of one door to facilitate the opening of another more meaningful one.

MIA-RN1, RN · Sep 20, 2005

I was very similar. Thought I wanted to be a nurse at 20--until I got there. Did a year of pre-req/sciences with little trouble and hit the nursing program. Passed first semester, barely. Withdrew in the middle of second semester for health reasons and just couldn't bring myself to go back.

Here I am now at 36, doing it all for good and doing well.

Moral: If nursing is right for him, he will find it. Maybe not this year or this decade, but he has to find his way on his own.

SarasotaRN2b · Sep 20, 2005

It really all depends on timing, not your timing..his timing. Nursing may very well be what he wants to do, but maybe not yet. I believe a special type of maturity is needed. That doesn't mean that young people going for nursing aren't mature or older people are, it is a person by person consideration. When I finished high school, I immediately was accepted into a nursing program...I just wasn't ready...even up to a few months ago, I was going back and forth. It wasn't until I started working at a hospital as a unit assistant, that I was able to see that yes, I could do it. It will take a lot of dedication and hard study, but I feel that my maturity to handle it is ready (and I'm 40 going on 41!). Talk to your son and LISTEN to him. Maybe he needs a year break, maybe there is something else, maybe he just needs to be able to let out the things that might be frustrating him about the program.

Best of luck to you both!

dave1117 · Sep 21, 2005

...out how to solve your problem there are millions of parents, with millions of dollars, all over the world that will hire you to solve the same problem in their home.

Now I know that is not what you want to hear but the fact is it is true. YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM...did I say that loud enough? Let me try again, YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM! I am not yelling at you, but with you. My son is 18, bright as a shooting star, but lazy and sloppy and all the things that make us bad students.

While it hurts to watch him flounder, 1) he may really not like nursing school, 2) he may not be mature enough to handle nursing school 3) he may not be ready to handle college at all. He will not "do it" because you want him to and he is to young to know what is the best thing for his future.

My daughter is a senior in high school. She already has applications into 4 or 5 four year nursing programs around New York State. She will do it, becuase it is what she wants to do. She is highly motivated. My son on the other hand, graduated high school and wants to take a year off to "hang out". Both came out of the same womb and were raised by the same parents with the same rules and motivating factors.

So now that I solved all of your problems, how do I motivate my son?

Good luck, let him figure it out on his own. It is ultimately the only way.

dave :)

mariedoreen · Sep 21, 2005

Now I know that is not what you want to hear but the fact is it is true. YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM...did I say that loud enough? Let me try again, YOU CAN NOT MOTIVATE HIM! I am not yelling at you, but with you. My son is 18, bright as a shooting star, but lazy and sloppy and all the things that make us bad students.
My daughter is a senior in high school. She already has applications into 4 or 5 four year nursing programs around New York State. She will do it, becuase it is what she wants to do. She is highly motivated. My son on the other hand, graduated high school and wants to take a year off to "hang out". Both came out of the same womb and were raised by the same parents with the same rules and motivating factors.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! on behalf of parents everywhere who have been brainwashed into believing that if they "just do it right" (whatever IT is) their children will be perfect. You da king.

dave1117 · Sep 22, 2005

Thank you, thank you very much :smokin:

nursinggirl05 · Sep 22, 2005

I can't understand how can you force your child into nursing school. I just graduated from it and I hate it. I studied a lot and never had a problem with grades, but I quickly discovered that it's not for me- and I was dragging it to finish. Money doesn't matter and it's not that great either comparing for that nursing crap. Your son can study something else and that should be his choice if you want to see him happy.

dave1117 · Sep 22, 2005

So why are you still here? You claim to hate it so much, why not go to another site. I think AOL has some chat rooms for people who just wasted years and money on something they really hated. :rolleyes:

RN@34 · Sep 22, 2005

I don't know what to do...my son is 3 weeks into the nursing program at Gordon College, and wants to quit...He's not yet 20, got into the program on the 1st attempt (i've heard of folks on the wait list 4+ years...)...anywhoo...
When I was in school, I ate, slept, and breathed...nursing school. It was either study and pass or lose my home and son (because I wouldn't have been able to provide for us if I didn't pass).
He is not yet 20, but doesn't apply himself (he said he was preparing for his head to toe assessment skills lab, but couldn't find what consisted of patient "history..." he gave me the book and it was on the FIRST PAGE!!!!!)
He just doesn't get it...what a MIRACLE he got in the first try...he has never had to work for excellent grades, but with this he is just not applying himself, and I called him on it...told him he spends all his time playing "warcraft" online instead of studying (he then became defensive..."you don't see what I do at school...") He cut back on work 3 weeks ago so "he could have time to study."
I just don't get it...new grads at my facility start at $20/h...should he succeed, he will be 21 making $20/h with more opportunities for career advancement, and sign on bonuses (I graduated in 1996, and made $12/h...took me 1.5 yrs to get into a hospital job)...
anywhoo...how to motivate a childish son? This is not a test, this is the real world. Is it because he has never had to work for excellent grades???
Yesterday he said "I don't know if I want to do this...I don't know if I have it in me...maybe I should be a doctor or a dentist"; like THAT would be EASIER!!!
I just don't get it...
Thanks for listening
atlanta rn

Don't push him into nursing, because it is definitely not for everyone!!