You've got a what up/in your what??? - page 2

OK, Mario's thread about cheese, and Zhakrin's coke bottle post made me think up this one for fun. We've all had them, or heard about them. What is the most interesting thing you have had a person... Read More

  1. by   Zhakrin
    read this in a pt chart.

    28 year old pysch patient decides to kill himself so he grabs a butcher knife and cuts of his penis..

    ..the pain is so bad and guess what? he is not dying fast enough so he grabs a bottle of BBQ starter fuild and pours it all over himself and light himself on fire...

    well this hurts even worst so the moron throws himself out the 3rd floor window...not over yet...

    he does not die... a street sign saves his life when he become impaled on it. Enters at the armpit and exits the shoulder.

    This guy was a mess....and very clueless

    I hate to admit it but I have to write a humor book called "Suicide, getting it right the first time"
  2. by   hogan4736

    there are seven pics...very graphic, but true
  3. by   Zhakrin
    That is incredable!! That Jar is huge!!!

    Thanks hogan.
  4. by   thisnurse
    i dont have any oriface stories either. i am going to make some up.
  5. by   codebluechic
    An 80 y/o with a Duracell battery, size D. She was known from then on as the energizer bunny>
  6. by   kids
    But I want to know who else got side tracked and wandered aroung hogan's web site for an hour?
  7. by   ERNurse752
    67 y/o with hairspray bottle in rectum...
    Young guy with toilet brush in rectum...fluffy end sticking out like a bunny tail!
    Beer bottles in rectums...
    Vase in rectum...
  8. by   ERNurse752
    Forgot about my piercing fetish guy...stuck a upholstery needle filled with cocaine up his urethra to numb up his penis to pierce it. Shot orajel and neosporin up there the next day b/c it started looking infected. Came in to the ER when he started "peeing gravel."
  9. by   dstout-rn
    Lets see in my two years as an ER tech I saw a psych pt with a stomach full of rocks (he was in twice for this in about a 6 month period). A penis ring(use your imagination) that was WAY to small had to be cut off with a cast saw. And we had a guy zip his penis up in his zipper he was way drunk and didn't realize he had done it until his buddies pointed it out to him. And I took a call from a man who had but those chinese ball that you roll around in your hands for relaxation in his butt, and couldnt get them out!! I 'll never forget what the nurse told him.....Like everything else this too will pass.... thought i would fall over laughing.
  10. by   SICU Queen
    I have no personal orifice stories but have heard lots. I did have a patient who started singing songs about gerbils crawling around when the CV surgeon pulled her mediastinal tubes out.

    I still don't know what was up with that.
  11. by   SICU Queen
    OH WAIT. Maybe this counts.

    I got pulled to MICU a few weeks ago and cared for a lady who was post PTCA. She refused to have her Foley removed because she said it gave her "mini-orgasms".

    I don't want to try it...
    Originally posted by kids-r-fun
    But I want to know who else got side tracked and wandered aroung hogan's web site for an hour?
    Hey, I visit Rotten often for the strange and unusual.

  13. by   nur20
    Maybe this is common, but not to me.A lady keeping her gyn appointment, only thing was that the doctor kept pulling out condoms before he could examine her. Can you not know they are there? I was more embarressed than the patient