Written Up...

Nurses General Nursing

Published

okay so today I went to work at the ER and about 3 hours into my shift one of the assistant managers comes up to me and asks if I have time. He sits me down and says that 2 nurses out of the 50+ I work with including days and nights said I was "borderline" rude. I asked to know who it was and he said a meeting would be set up later in the week and I would find out then.

I'm really upset because I try to have a nice demeanor while working with people. It bothers me when people cannot come up to me and confront me to my face... I mean seriously if you talk to me I would have so much more respect for you than you going to admin about issues. *sigh* oo well.

It seems to me that if you are going to discipline an employee for an infraction you should have concrete and specific incidents to back up the need for discipline. "Borderline rude" or 'bad attitude' doesn't describe an incident. Now if they have an actual incident with specifics, then they might have a case. I also think that people ought to work it out among themselves first before dragging administration into it. Maybe those lodging the complaint did try to work it out before hand, but OP makes no mention of it. There are always two sides to every story, and it would be interesting to know the other side.

I really don't think we should all ask 'from which bridge?' when our employer says 'go take a flying leap' just because it's a tough economy and we are 'lucky' to have a job. Some jobs aren't worth having.....

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Were you actually written up, or is it going to happen soon? Sometimes, what gets to me is that attitudes are subjective. What is considerate to one person is rude to the next. There are some people who are so needy that whatever they preceive as lack of acknowledgement becomes a big emotional deal for them.

I am well aware of the importance of addressing bullying in the workplace, the lateral violence and all, but sometimes, even that in itself can become bullying.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

I agree. What would have been wrong with those people coming to you and saying "when you do such and such, it sounds rude...do you mean to sound that way?"

However, since management did put stock in what they have to say, you should approach it with an open mind and take it as an opportunity to look at yourself and your interpersonal skills. You might indeed be borderline rude because if two people actually thought enough to go to management, there are probably much more who think it as well. A tough and bitter bill to swallow, but rather than get overly defensive and turn it on the other person, take a look at yourself.

Could be they are dead wrong and you can come out of the meeting and throw it all in the garbage can. Or you can simply end the meeting with maturity and say..."I didn't realize I came across that way, and I'll try to do better."

Specializes in Critical Care, Orthopedics, Hospitalists.

I must say that I disagree with most of the posters here. I don't think your manager is doing anything wrong - he's taking a specific complaint from two seperate team members and addressing it like he's supposed to do. Perhaps these two team members didn't feel comfortable confronting you themselves for whatever reason, and wanted to go to someone more neutral. There is nothing wrong with sitting down with the two team members and a neutral party (your manager), talking over whatever issue they have (which is most likely perception-related), and moving on.

I've worked in places where the manager just let these types of complaints slide, and the entire unit suffered from it. You could just feel the animosity between everyone, which made the work environment fairly unpleasant. I applaud your manager for taking the time to sit with you and them and address the issue directly.

When you go to your meeting, please be open and realize that though you don't feel you are this way, this is how you are perceived by at least these two people (and possibly more people who weren't brave enough to step up). Ultimately, it's up to you what you do with that information.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Christen, I totally agree the manager isn't doing anything wrong by handling the complaint.

However, it is rampant in our society that people don't want to confront one another and almost always ignore bad behavior or tell someone behind their back. We all should be taught the skills of confrontation and the consequences of not having the skills to confront. Now four people have to waste their time in a meeting when understanding could have happened had these people had the skills to talk to the person directly first. It could be the meeting needs to occur, or it could be gossip and misunderstanding out of control.

However, I agree that this manager is doing a good thing, because most managers do indeed ignore these kinds of complaints - which makes individual confrontation skills all the more important.

Are you sure you were written up?! It sounds like the meeting is being called to clear the air. If you were written up I would NEVER sign something I didn't agree with. They could bully me to the cows came home and I still wouldn't sign it.

Stay calm and listen to what they say. You can then state your case in a calm manner. Say something short and sweet and leave it at that.

"I appreciate your feedback although I disagree with the content. I hope we can move on and continue to work as a team for our patients."

One of the 1st things we were told yesterday in orientation was that the RN behind our name wouldn't be what got us hired or kept us in a job. The head of HR said they've got rid of many nurses, all who had excellent clinical skills, because of their attitude at work - to coworkers in particular.

We were told that great patient care will only take us so far. If coworkers don't want to work with us, or worse, are quiting because the atmospere is toxic, than we'll be hearing about it.

Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

Please note that the OP is a CNA who recently changed units. Its discussed in his previous posts on allnurses.

Specializes in OR.

Can someone explain to me what "borderline rude" is ??? You are either rude or you are not petty write -ups sound fishy to me ???? Maybe some managers favor others word and claims and make a big deal over nothing such a waste of time!!!!

Only two people and "borderline" rude?! Seems absurd and petty to bother talking to you about it. I am a nursing student and there was actually a nurse that was downright rude to me and I never said anything to anyone about it. I guess she complained about me though! Figures. :icon_roll

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