Would you put your family member in a LTC facility? - page 2
What I'm learning about LTC facilities scare me. I know there must be some good ones out there somewhere???? But really, between staffing issues, cheap owners who shortchange on supplies, MD's... Read More
Mar 9, '07I would never let my parents live in LTC. I just can't imagine doing it.
Fortunately there are four kids in our family and my sister and I are both on our way to becoming nurses.. so that helps. Also our family is very well off and could afford private home healthcare if it came down to it. I understand and don't judge anyone who puts their parents in LTC though. Sometimes you have no other choice.
Mar 9, '07We placed one of our patients in a NH last week and when I called report to them it down right scared me... The "nurse" didn't even know what ACHS sugars meant? And I was telling her about how we were putting Allyven on the patient's sacral wound and the "nurse" said.. I hope allyven isn't an IV med because we don't do IVs here.... Needless to say it took me 20 minutes to call report because I had to explain everything.. And this wasn't a difficult patient!!!
Mar 9, '07I think I was actually giving report to the secretary or something because I just don't see how this would be possible.. I know there are some great nurses out there working in LTC facilities.. But they should never delegate a secretary to recieve report...
Mar 9, '07Quote from BalderBalder- sure hope you are kidding. Might better leave everything to the kiddo that keeps you! Besides the Boy Scouts only help little old ladies to cross the street, not "cross-over".My will says that if I am placed into LTC then 100% of my estate will be left to the Boy Scouts of america! But I may actually change that. there are good facilities, and that could place an unfair burden on my kids.
Mar 9, '07Never ever thought we would put a family member in LTC, despite having 2 sisters who are life long LTC workers (a nurse and an aide).
My 92yo granfather was getting confused - showing up for daily mass 2 hours early, putting milk away in the cabinets, etc. He fell and broke a hip, 2 weeks of rehab, my mom arranged home care--he fired every one of them. My sister then 38yo lived nearby, ft job, 2 kids at home , stopped in almost everyday and tried to fix meals and keep up the house and laundry--he bit#$ed her out daily and still was not really safe alone. Mom brought him to Florida (from NY) and long story short after 3 weeks of constant complaining and depression told her he'd rather be in a nursing home-got his wish. My mom felt awful, but he loved it. So many people to listen to his big stories, and lots of gossip around. He was clean and fed and got the correct meds, he was fairly mobile scooting around or pushing his w/c, and only complaint was they served lunch during The Price is Right!
Sure opened my eyes as to what might be best, still I think I'd sure try to keep my mom at home, if possible.
Mar 9, '07We plan on having our elderly parents move in with us if/when they can no longer take care of themselves/each other. I will always only work part-time, around dh's schedule since we have a child and avoid daycare anyway. We will take care of them UNLESS their care is more than I can provide. (like if they become extremely obese and I am unable to turn them/bathe them/dress them/transport them properly. Then we would have no choice but to put them in a LTC facility.
Mar 9, '07ONLY if there were no other option. It really would depend on the case. I'd like to say 'no. Never. Not under any circumstances..' but thats not very realistic. It would truly be a choice of last resort, however. As my mom died from cancer, she stayed at home and the family banded together to care for her. But as our family numbers dwindle and some disperse to different states, it starts to depend on just what the situation is.
Mar 9, '07Unfortunately I had no choice but to place my mother in a nursing home in August 2005. Dad had always promised her that he would never put her in a nursing home, but, we had no choice. We had been doing the home health thing for quite a while, and her health just kept getting worse and worse. We decided on a nursing home close to dad, he visited her daily (most of the day and into the early evening) and I visited 3-4 times a week. The staff knew that mom was a retired nurse, and I was a nurse as well (mom was quite vocal), and she received good care there overall.
I had many reservations about it, but mom said she knew we didn't have a choice and she appreciated being so close to dad. The staff was very good about calling me with anything out of the ordinary with mom and worked with me when we had minor disagreements about her care.
I would say that each situation is different.
Mar 9, '07Only if I had to. Unfortunately, there often comes a point where, for physical or mental health of the caregiver(s), our loved ones have to be put into these horrible places.
I used to think I would never do it but, as I have aged and developed my own health limitations, I can see that these places are often necessary.
We do not live in tribes any more, or extended family communities. Women work, women cannot be expected to care for aging parents or other invalids all night, all weekend, when we are working full-time outside the home and caring for children, too. It just is next to impossible to do. Years ago when women were primarily homemakers and there was a man bringing in some money, it was incumbent upon the homemakers to care for aging parents and other family invalids. Families, tribes, cousins, etc. lived in closer proximity and could be depended on a little more than today to lend a hand. I know I'm generalizing.
The answer above was so true - don't become old and sick and poor in America. We really need to revamp how we handle invalids, sickness, poverty in this great land of ours.
Communities and families and individuals need to pull together and help each other. Like a kibbutz, maybe.
Mar 9, '07Quote from TigerGalLEI think the nurse calling report should make sure who he or she is giving report to, too. Legally, you might be required to report only to an RN. Not sure. What does your State Nursing Board say? :uhoh21:I think I was actually giving report to the secretary or something because I just don't see how this would be possible.. I know there are some great nurses out there working in LTC facilities.. But they should never delegate a secretary to recieve report...
Mar 9, '07i understand everyone's replies. this is a hard topic and a hard choice that some will have to make.
[color=#483d8b]i have only one mom and 2 other sisters. i know for a fcat that one of my sister's will not participate in trying to ever keep her at home and i understand.
[color=#483d8b]so between me and the other and home care, we'll try. if she become's too much, then a whole lotta thinkin' is gonna be done.
[color=#483d8b]one night my friend who is also a nurse called the ltc where her uncle is to check in on him.
[color=#483d8b]her uncle was a new resident there and my friend wanted to go over all his meds with this poor night nurse who told my friend she's too busy for that right now. my friend was ready to report her to admin. the next day, blah, blah, blah. i had to tell her to calm down and give her a few clues about what ltc is like for the staff. she did calm down.
[color=#483d8b]another problem in health care with no forseeable solution.
Mar 10, '07Are LTC facilities in the USA *that* terrible???
I'm not saying that all LTCs in Ontario are fabulous-great, but I wouldn't hesitate to admit my mom or dad to a NH here. In fact, my parents have forbidden all 4 of us "kids" to take them in, no matter what the circumstances.
My mom looked after her dad, in TN, for 8 years, after he had a stroke; the last 1 1/2 years he was in a NH. Looking after him put her under incredible stress... it's very very difficult to be both daughter AND caregiver. I'm not saying that it cannot be done, but I saw what it did to her, with no sibling support, and me living in Ontario.
I also watched my SIL look after my MIL for 7 years... my help was neither wanted nor asked for. I watched their relationship warp into a twisted reversal of mother-daughter, and my SIL's marriage almost collapse.
Kudos to you if LTC placement is not in your plans.... make sure you have a good support system, and outside help to allow you to leave the home on a regular basis.
Ladylurker <realizing that there is only one NH in her town that she would not let her parents live in, and the other 4-5 are not just acceptable, but are GOOD>
Mar 10, '07Only if I absolutely had no other choice!!! To make a very long,very touchy story short my grandmother fell and broke her hip and needed therapy,my family is not well off by any means so we had no choice but to take her to a facility til she was well enough to bring her home.I never missed a day of visiting her out of the whole 2 month ordeal and she was still treated terribly without my family even knowing until about 2 weeks before she passed and we moved her to another facility.She was in a comatose stage,forced fed,terrible bed sores from head to toe,pneumonia off and on along with many other complications that arised during the time she was there.Ultimately they attempted to force her into doing therapy and because she was pure dead weight she ended up with a huge gash in her leg that was never reported,covered up with stockings and a bootie and never treated for as if it never happened!!!!The wound got terribly infected and she died from sepsis exactly 2 months from the day she was put in that awful place.Not every place is this terrible but it's definately not the ideal place for loved ones the majority of times.My heart goes out to these residents and their families that have had to or may have to someday consider this very option.