What is the dumbest order you ever read? - page 7

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold ... Read More

  1. by   RN always
    Originally posted by zudy
    My very favorite was by one of our ER drs that saved ALL his charts from his 24 hr shift, and about 3 am would start ALL of his charting for the entire day About halfway thru, he would always fall asleep. We could always tell the point where he fell asleep, he would be writing, and then there would be a long line that eventually went off the page. We would let him sleep awhile, wake him, and he would ALWAYS pretend that he wasn't REALLY sleeping. Whatever. YOu get the general picture. He was charting on a pt who came in with chest pain, and was discharged home to follow up with her cardiologist. Her cardiologist's last name started with a "K" . His last order on this sweet little lady was " pt to F/U (follow up) C (with) then he STARTED then cardiologist's name, but was only able to get the first letter out before he fell asleep We all asked him to be OUR PCP, and write orders on us!

    This is absolutely hilarious.............................!!!!
  2. by   hogan4736
    "remove pt's socks"

    written by a lazy ER doc with whom I used to work
  3. by   deespoohbear
    Had a patient who was about 8 hours post op from a bilateral hernia repair. Pt hadn't been able to void except for a very scant amount of urine (20?cc's, maybe). I called the surgeon and told him. He said that if he hadn't voided in 2 hours, to straight cath him. I went to write the order, and I wrote: If pt does not void in 2 YEARS, straight cath. I about peed my pants when I saw what I had written. He probaly would have gotten a tad miserable by that point..
  4. by   Furball

    That one reminds me of an order for some kind of ointment which I can't recall at this moment, but the order read apply bid for 10 years instead of 10 days....
    hardy har har
  5. by   Enright
    On a rehab unit I worked, The day charge wrote we should document "nature of flatus" on all patients.
  6. by   Stargazer
    Originally posted by Enright
    On a rehab unit I worked, The day charge wrote we should document "nature of flatus" on all patients.
    Oh, dear. Did you get out the thesaurus and start looking up synonyms for "explosive" and "musical" and "silent-but-deadly"? :chuckle
  7. by   TheLionessRN
    My all time favorite order was for a man who had the most swollen testicles and penis I had ever seen. Third spacing kind of look, just in his package. Doc ordered a urology consult. The urology guy comes in and orders "Have nurse put hand pressure first on the testicles, and move upward to the penis, holding pressure for 5-10 min total, q 30 minutes X 4 hours." The idea was to push the excess fluid back into the body, I think.
    I had to go in and hold the man's package and just stand there, pressing on various parts of it. Looking for something to converse about while I did this, the patient told me he always regretted not being circumcised. He then went on to tell me that he hadn't been touched there by a woman in a long time. "It has been about 25 years since I got any tail".
    I finished shortly afterward and asked another nurse to spell me in my squeezing routine after that......
  8. by   legsmalone
    Originally posted by Stargazer
    Oh, dear. Did you get out the thesaurus and start looking up synonyms for "explosive" and "musical" and "silent-but-deadly"? :chuckle
    :roll :roll :roll :roll
  9. by   WalMart_ADN
    60 mgs tylenol iv q4 prn........

    "please check VS q4h"
    "please check temp q4h"
    "please check BP q4h"
    "please check pulse ox and respers q4h"
    "please check heart rate q4h"
    "please place on continious oximeter"

    yes those last 6 were 6 seperate orders, written on the same pt. by the same resident all at the same time......what do they think we do when we check vitals.....and you either want the oximetry/heart rate checked q4 or continous......

    "strict i/o"---i was actually going to make them up, thanks for clarifying"

    "call HO for temp over 38.7, oximetry less than 88%, and seizure activity lasting over 5 minutes"....thanks for clarifying.....

  10. by   Stargazer
    Well, ya know, those four-and-a-half minute seizures are hardly even worth charting, much less calling the doc...

    (psst--welcome back, LeAnn!)
  11. by   WalMart_ADN
    (psssst....thanks susan i missed you guys!)
  12. by   charissa
    PT to brush teeth QD

    Change pt linen q3 days, (How about QD?)

    Remove every other altenating staple
  13. by   beachmom
    We were the lucky recipients of orders from a doctor's first try with computerized records.

    On the H&P, "Chief complaint: as above" .......Above where? it's the top of the page. your'e computer is not here

    Meds: "Insulin, NPH, 25 ml. BID." ....25 ml??????

    "Rocephin"........No amount, no route, no time.

    7 clarifications of the meds. What gets me is that the doctor was furious that we had so much trouble with it.
    Last edit by beachmom on Aug 24, '07