What is the dumbest order you ever read?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold for one hour." I am LMAO as I am thinking "OK where am I going to find a cork.:roll :chuckle

I wanna play too!

When I worked cardiovascular surgery years ago:

"Instruct patient not to watch ShowTime After-Dark" (late night cable Media that stressed his 1 day post-op CABG... The resident got upset about a little run of VTac at 2AM...

"Please provide privacy for patient" - the intern had just been called to pronounce a DNR who expired... in a private room.

"Please provide conjugal visits for patient" - just this last week... I still can not figure out how to present this to the insurance company as an approved treatment plan! I didn't know that we offered that service...

"Inform family of inpatient admission" - By an attending physician on his own wife's chart! Order written after 9PM; when he finally answered his pages after 1AM we reminded him his wife was in the hospital! And yes, we had attempted to clarify this with him at the time...

"Arrange for someone to walk patient's dog while in hospital" - sure, I'll run right over after being on my feet the last 13+ hours...

And of course you gotta love those flimsy hall racks. A resident dropped a chart which promptly popped open and sent papers scattered about for 20 feet. His fishes out an order sheet and writes "Please put chart back in time for morning rounds". No problem buddy, right after I get down sticking these pins in a voodoo doll with your name on it!

Gotta love it!

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Specializes in med/surg, TELE,CM, clinica[ documentation.

Patient may have 2 chocolate milks with each meal( if not premixed, nurses to make with hershey syrup) sure, like we have that on the floor

Testosterone gel -apply as needed (for a patient that constantly masturbates)

Nurses to wash patients hair---patient could easily do it himself

Nurse must feed patient at each meal---the patient could eat with no problem

Fleets enema TID daily ???? with no stop order:uhoh3:

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Specializes in Derm/Wound Care/OP Surgery/LTC.

"pt to be aroused q4h with painful stimuli"

I think the doc was into bondage...:uhoh21:

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Specializes in Tele, ED/Pediatrics, CCU/MICU.

"Snickers Mini PO x1 now"

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Specializes in cardiac ICU.

"Foley to member."

On another patient, "Insert Foley sterilely."

"Triamcinolone inhaler, 2 puffs bilaterally, BID." Um, as opposed to left or right lung only?

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"pt to be aroused q4h with painful stimuli"

I think the doc was into bondage...:uhoh21:

:roll :roll

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"Kindly feed pt, as he is now hungry."

Could not believe doc wrote this as an order!! Thank goodness it was a doc I like alot and get along with well. So, I told him to please not ever write an order like that again as it makes us look like idiots that are starving our pts... and I also pointed out we don't write in the progress notes how long it sometimes takes YOU to return a phone call. He laughed and agreed and still we joke about it.

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Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

Hmmm this was many years ago...

I was attending to a Doctor one evening after rounds etc yadda yadda yadda... He was writing a prescription out and he handed to me as he left. We were both younger and I think had a 'thing' for each other

The prescription read... WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH ME 1X..

No I did not go out with him because I was nervous and was not sure where it would lead!!!:lol2: I was a very good girl back then!!!:lol2:

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Specializes in CCRN, ATCN, ABLS.
Hmmm this was many years ago...

I was attending to a Doctor one evening after rounds etc yadda yadda yadda... He was writing a prescription out and he handed to me as he left. We were both younger and I think had a 'thing' for each other

The prescription read... WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH ME 1X..

No I did not go out with him because I was nervous and was not sure where it would lead!!!:lol2: I was a very good girl back then!!!:lol2:

Smart pick up line!:nono:

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"Move patient to a room with a view"

:stone

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"Move patient to a room with a view"

:stone

view this.

leslie

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Specializes in CCU MICU Rapid Response.

Hey all... Orders for a non responsive vent pt.. OOB with assistance only. Huh?

~Ivanna

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