Unhealthy habits/Facebook posts from friends/family that make you :( ?

Nurses General Nursing

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I know it's NOT my job to police my friends and family... However,

My aunt just posted a photo of heavily carb-laden Chinese food plates that she (diabetic) and her husband (also diabetic) are about to enjoy. She does this all the time. I have told her this is dangerous and she needs to be careful, but now I'm just biting my tongue and hoping she doesn't get a nasty ulcer.

Also have a friend with a morbidly obese 5yo child that she buys 2 adult sized meals for (have witnessed this when I was in town to visit family... , I wondered what was causing it until I saw it first hand) . It's hard not to cringe when seeing photos, knowing how the parents feed him. Said friend does crossfit and eats healthily herself, but why stuff the child like that? Her other child is obese too. Have not said anything to this one.

Of course, there are the hoards of anti-vax friends... I just bite my tongue and move along.

Just curious what the rest of you encounter on facebook or even on a daily basis. Do you feel compelled to "educate", or are you like me and keep your mouth shut and wish you'd have said something?

Specializes in Critical Care.

You're caring because?

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

I don't have a Facebook so it's not a problem.

Specializes in Med/Surg.
I know it's NOT my job to police my friends and family... However,

My aunt just posted a photo of heavily carb-laden Chinese food plates that she (diabetic) and her husband (also diabetic) are about to enjoy. She does this all the time. I have told her this is dangerous and she needs to be careful, but now I'm just biting my tongue and hoping she doesn't get a nasty ulcer.

Also have a friend with a morbidly obese 5yo child that she buys 2 adult sized meals for (have witnessed this when I was in town to visit family... , I wondered what was causing it until I saw it first hand) . It's hard not to cringe when seeing photos, knowing how the parents feed him. Said friend does crossfit and eats healthily herself, but why stuff the child like that? Her other child is obese too. Have not said anything to this one.

Of course, there are the hoards of anti-vax friends... I just bite my tongue and move along.

Just curious what the rest of you encounter on facebook or even on a daily basis. Do you feel compelled to "educate", or are you like me and keep your mouth shut and wish you'd have said something?

It is "hard not to cringe" at a 5 year old because s/he's fat? Please disassociate yourself from your "friend", who surely does not need your fat shaming rhetoric towards her preschooler.

I don't have a Facebook so it's not a problem.

I think it's a great place, but like someone once said about the internet,"The internet was meant for education and learning and maybe communicating with other people in the world. Now, it's become abused with Mediaography and political lunacy."

Sometimes, I say,"You can't beat old school/old fashioned ways."

Specializes in ER.

I'm in Canada, and the Trump posts are stressing me out. I wish there was a way to delete all the posts with key words in them. I know it's not my country, not my business, and he's not going to change. that man is a going concern.

I'm in Canada, and the Trump posts are stressing me out. I wish there was a way to delete all the posts with key words in them. I know it's not my country, not my business, and he's not going to change. that man is a going concern.

Like a personal self-parental control on keywords: Russia, Putin, Russia is better than the US in military strength, Trump, Republicans, Democrats

I'd like that too. I've been wanting to write a letter to Apple(since I own a Mac) and see if they can upload a type of program that censors what YOU want. Keywords, pictures of things you don't like, etc.

This is 2017 and we have cars that get 55 mpg and smartphones that are as thin as a notebook..so what the F, technology? Lmao

No fat shaming here but if I had a friend who had a morbidly obese 5yo and I had enough background info to know it was primary the result of how my friend fed him I would have to do something other than just scroll past. I wouldn't say anything on Facebook but those can be and sometimes are CPS issues.

Sad to say but I would hope it was parenting related and not an undisclosed condition that was not likely to respond to conservative diet and exercise measures.

The aunt and uncle: My grandmother was diagnosed with diabetes at around 65. Everyone told her to eat healthy, etc. She ate how she wanted, lived it up, and died at the ripe old age of 90. Until about the last year, she had a very good quality of life. Instead of giving her crap about what she ate, I talked to her about her past, life lessons, etc. Did both me and her a lot of good, I think.

The friend + child: Well, if you must say something, I would write her privately and express your concern in a way that shows you respect her and her mothering, and the child seems so happy and well-adjusted, but did his doctor say anything cuz you're concerned. This would have to be done very carefully and craftily, or you will lose a friend and no one will benefit.

As for CPS, IMO that's nuts. I have seen them rip families apart for a LOT less than overfeeding a child (which may even be happening because the child has a goofy metabolism, some condition, or God knows what else). To me, that's just a sad commentary on the state of our often hysterical society, and definitely not the route to go. But I could be wrong, of course.

Specializes in Pediatrics.

The friend + child: Well, if you must say something, I would write her privately and express your concern in a way that shows you respect her and her mothering, and the child seems so happy and well-adjusted, but did his doctor say anything cuz you're concerned. This would have to be done very carefully and craftily, or you will lose a friend and no one will benefit.

As for CPS, IMO that's nuts. I have seen them rip families apart for a LOT less than overfeeding a child (which may even be happening because the child has a goofy metabolism, some condition, or God knows what else). To me, that's just a sad commentary on the state of our often hysterical society, and definitely not the route to go. But I could be wrong, of course.

My thoughts exactly! About CPS and the approach to the mother.

If it truly comes from a place of caring and concern, think long and hard about how you want to approach it. Or else, it will come across as 'shaming' (which, BTW, I can't stand that term. I feel like everyone thinks they are being 'shamed' when it is something they don't want to hear- I recently heard a teenager say to his mother "why are you shaming me" when she was just pointing out something she wanted him to do).

Another thought, and question for the OP: do you have kids? I say this with peace and love

I am careful what I post on social media now, because I have been 'called out' by friends (my child never ate two adult meals of fast food, at age 5 nor present day... and the thought of that makes ME cringe too: no human being should consume that much in one sitting). After an innocent pic of her enjoying a sugary drink, or me ranting about how a fast food place forget my foot, and I drove back and ended up in a car accident, I am very careful.

I also used to be a lot more preachy about safety (helmets, seatbelts/car seats and sitting in the front) and parenting styles (namely the horrors of helicopter parenting and coddling kids, and it's ill-effects when they get to college and the workforce). I stopped this, because I would literally get one or two likes; I was preaching to a crowd that didn't want to hear it.

The bottom line is, no one really wants to hear these things from their 'friends', and there is usually no good way to tell someone they're 'doing it wrong', without them becoming defensive (especially when it comes to parenting).

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

I only give advice when asked to do so.

I don't have a Facebook so it's not a problem.

Boooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

These days it's safer to just not have a public opinion about anything...

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