Unethical behavior

  1. As a 26 year veteran, I am experiencing something new in my career...a co-worker who had (and continues to have ) a sexual affair with the father (married to the mother) of a set of twins in my NICU. This relationship was ongoing throughout the babies hospital course and even though my NM now knows about it, she says "the couple was having marraige difficulties anyway" and "what do you want me to do, punish her forever !" Our very large, hotsy totsy hospital says there is nothing they can do for this poor Mother who is now raising 2 premie boys. My NM thought the rest of her staff was "OK" with the affair because she has not heard anyone talking about it !! Well, HER staff is NOT OK with it ! WE are repulsed, furious,embarassed and want this RN dismissed ! The NM says the Board of Nursing is involved but I do not believe her. Any superior suggestions ?????:
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    About kirkwoodnurse

    Joined: Jun '06; Posts: 1

    35 Comments

  3. by   traumaRUs
    Gosh - I'm sorry this has caused such upheaval in your unit. However, I don't think it's right, but I also don't think there is any reason to fire this nurse. Is her work ethic suffering? I would otherwise ignore it - its not my concern.
  4. by   Spidey's mom
    Isn't there some professional prohibition about becoming involved with patients or their families?

    This is appalliing to me.

    steph
  5. by   traumaRUs
    While not exactly ethical - I doubt there is a violation of the laws or policy and procedures of the hospital. I've been aware of affaris between families, patients, staff, etc.. I do feel sincere sympathy for this woman that now has to raise her preemies by herself. However, I guess I just don't think its my business IF (big if), this nurse's on the job behavior isn't affected.
  6. by   SimonJester
    What kind of sleazebag has an affair whith the nurse of his two premie babies…

    "the couple was having marraige difficulties anyway"
    That makes my blood boil...

    You would think the hospital would have rules against becoming involved with patience family members…
  7. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from traumaRUs
    While not exactly ethical - I doubt there is a violation of the laws or policy and procedures of the hospital. I've been aware of affaris between families, patients, staff, etc.. I do feel sincere sympathy for this woman that now has to raise her preemies by herself. However, I guess I just don't think its my business IF (big if), this nurse's on the job behavior isn't affected.
    But while the babies were admitted? Did this person take care of the babies?

    Too sad.

    steph
  8. by   Tweety
    Personally, I think what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms is not necessarily the employers business.

    The gossip and rumor mill (and I'm sure there are some half-truths and rumors out there).

    Do I think both parties are sleezebag scum? Yes I do.
  9. by   BsnRnShiftSuper
    at the very least i think is a conflict of interest for everyone involved. whether or not there are rules that address this by your facility, the potential for problems internally is enormous. however, i also think that a facility should not have any say in your personal life. if the affair had started after the babies discharge, that would be one thing. but the fact it was going on during the inpatient period is a different story. that almost makes it not so much of a personal life. during the time when the babies were in the hospital, was it common knowledge that an affair was going on? did if affect her capabilities to provide care? most importantly, was there tension in the unit for the family and other staff? if so, that definately makes it less that just her personal life.
  10. by   hogan4736
    Quote from kirkwoodnurse
    The NM says the Board of Nursing is involved but I do not believe her. Any superior suggestions ?????:

    I would hope the BON isn't involved...And if someone did call the BON, that person should mind his/her own business and be spoken to about confusing personal business w/ nursing business...

    Yes he is a scumbag, and the nurse is just as bad, but is has nothing to do w/ her nursing duties; UNLESS her personal business is causing her work to suffer, then it's ONLY an issue for the employer...

    I have a friend who was on the AZ BON...The number 1 complaint they received were EMPLOYER issues, NOT nursing care issues...
  11. by   TiffyRN
    Are the adults involved in the affair scuzbags? Oh yea!

    I think though that it unless your hospital forbids personal relationships between employees and relatives of patients (the dad was not a patient was he?) then there is not much to be done as far as her employment.

    As bad as it is I hear of NICU dads flirting with the employees and asking them out (I've personally never heard of it ever going any further).

    It's a disgusting situation with a high sympathy factor for the mom. I'm not sure it's actionable though.
  12. by   Elisheva
    The mother of the preemies may have some difficult times ahead, but her life wouldn't be any easier with a husband like this around.

    Yeah, the affair is sleazy, but can or should she be fired for it? What about doctor/nurse affairs, then? Talk about a conflict of interests. As deplorable as we may find certain behaviors to be, I'm not sure you can fire someone for them.
  13. by   BsnRnShiftSuper
    i Just Think That Peronsal Should Be Kept A Safe Distance From Professional, At Least When The Personal Issues Are Affecting The Workings Of A Unit. Both People Have Definately Made Some Serious Moral Errors, But IS That For The Bon, Co-workers, Or Nurse Manager To Decide And Judge?
  14. by   RebeccaJeanRN
    People have sleazy affairs, whether they be dad's of preemies, or nurses in NICU...such is life. Dispicable on both parts- the mom confides in a nurse who is, unbeknownst to her, fooling around with her husband, and the father of preemies is distracted with fooling around rather than caring about the huge responsibility that he just created and supporting that poor mother...my goodness, how sad. I wouldn't get involved, however, because I would not consider it my business. But as an aside, I would think that a hospital might have a policy against it for the following reason: it could fuel a potential lawsuit by the mother of the preemies, whether grounded or not (charges of substandard care by this nurse due to her being distracted with fraternizing with mother's husband). But then again, how to regulate? Seems that it really can't be an actual hospital policy against it...anybody know?

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