The weight of the world. - page 2
Just wanted to let it out in a safe place. My dad has been in the MICU for over a week with a GI bleed and septicemia...also on the liver transplant list. He grew out MRSA in his sputum, ascites,... Read More
Jun 7, '09From: US ; Joined: Jun '09; Posts: 27; Likes: 26Sarahbeth, I will pray for you. I lost my mom last year to a LONG battle with breast cancer. It was sooooo hard to see it consume her after over a decade of fighting it with a vengeance. There comes a time when the battle cannot be fought any more and peace and comfort are on the horizon. Do what you know is right, listen to your heart, and look to God for comfort during this difficult time.
Jun 7, '09Joined: Jun '05; Posts: 1,740; Likes: 2,505It is true that you have been put in a bad position. I truly feel for you. I went through this with my grandmother. Iwas DPOA and had to "pull the plug". My mother was greatful that someone else took charge.
I'm not sure my brother ever forgave me. He truly thought she would live forever.
I knew I did the right thing. And when I pulled the plug so to speak I wasn't killing anyone. All of us are terminal. Some just get luckier than others. My aunt went out to lunch with friends, came in to the house, said I don't feel too well and died. What a great way to go.
We will keep praying for you and supporting you any way we can
Jun 7, '09Joined: Apr '00; Posts: 24,611; Likes: 35,448Quote from SarahBethi sooo understand.I want to honor my father but I don't want to be a monster in the eyes of my family.
my sisters, brother acted 'funny' around me for awhile after mom died.
they really wanted to pursue any/all txs, but i was insistent.
you are so young, sarah, to be burdened w/this.
i was twice your age when i made my decision.
you don't have to make any decisions tonight.
why not give your family, simple-to-read printouts on sepsis, transplants.
let them read how critical these pts are.
find a doctor who understands and supports your decision.
maybe he/she will talk to your family.
and that's another thing.
it ticks me off to no end, that doctors push and push and push, until all choices have been exhausted.
folks that are critically sick, too often die w/o "comfort" ever being a thought.
and these naive families, cling onto every sacred word the doctors speak.
your family needs to see that you know what you're talking about...
which they will somewhat understand, once/if they read what you've given them.
it's a horrible, horrible place for you to be in.
but again, please, listen to your heart.
you can do anything you put your mind to, when done w/love.
Jun 7, '09Occupation: servant to the felines... Specialty: ICU ; Joined: Jan '08; Posts: 414; Likes: 733Maybe your sister wouldn't be ready for it or accepting of it, but perhaps you could meet as a family with the hospital's Ethics Committee? It might help provide some perspective for your mom and sister, simply to explore the issues and how they feel about the issues. The Committee might be able to help you advocate for what your dad would want for himself.
I found the Ethics Committee at my hospital very helpful recently when I had a pt of mine in a situation very similar to your dad's. While the Committee was never in full agreement, and some of the Dr's were not happy with the outcome, the issues in the case were fully explored. I know the POA was confident at the end that she was making the best choice she could for her family member.
Hang in there.
Jun 15, '09Occupation: RN-i (RETIRED) Specialty: ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89 ; From: US ; Joined: May '00; Posts: 14,479; Likes: 2,298SarahBeth bless you young lady. Right now you need to place your Dad right in your heart and ask him. I sat by my father for 25 days in your dad's condition. I talked to him though he was comatose. And though he couldn't talk I could hear him in my heart. Together "we" decided what needed to be done.
You, your mom and family and your Daddy are in my prayers right now. I still "talk" to mine.
Jun 15, '09Occupation: HomeHealth Case Manager Specialty: 4.5 years Med/Surg, currently HomeHealth ; From: US ; Joined: Sep '03; Posts: 1,043; Likes: 712HUGS to you dear. I cant even imagine what you are going through. You truely have to follow your heart and your mind. It will be hard no matter what you decide. The main thing to consider too is your dad's comfort. You and your family are in my prayers.
Jun 18, '09Occupation: RN Specialty: 6 year(s) of experience in Pediatrics, ER ; From: US ; Joined: Jan '09; Posts: 959; Likes: 1,226I just wanted to update that my father passed away peacefully on Tuesday with his family at his side. It is such a relief to know that he can now do all of the things his body held him from here on earth. I'm happy for him, but sad for us. He was -and is- loved by so many.
Jun 18, '09Joined: Aug '04; Posts: 9,279; Likes: 4,301Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your Dad, sarabeth. (((hugs)))
Jun 18, '09Joined: Jan '09; Posts: 5,390; Likes: 10,366Sarahbeth, giving you some more strength, and also hope for peace of mind and spirit. :heartbeat
Jun 18, '09Occupation: RN-i (RETIRED) Specialty: ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89 ; From: US ; Joined: May '00; Posts: 14,479; Likes: 2,298What strength and courage in so young a Nurse. Your Dad is free now. No more pain. My Daddy's been There since 1982, and Mama joined him this past December. Mama loved to dance and could sing a beautiful soprano right on key.....Daddy tried.......
Now your dad has all his friends and family he has been missing, and as my Faith says 1 day with the Lord is as 10000 years on earth. So it's only a matter of seconds that he has to wait to see you once again. You have my deepest condolences.