So TIRED OF IT

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I'm so over it. I'm so over dealing with ahole patients who are so entitled and disrespectful to staff and think that they are in some damn hotel with room service. I'm so over management choosing to side WITH these patients and not backing up staff. I am tired of the ridiculous pay, the crazy assignments, over-the-top patients, the cliques, and how hospital-based care is now some big business and how I am a glorified pill-pushing waitress. I'm tired of patients cursing at me, lying, manipulating and everything.

I'm tired of not feeling supported by management. I don't feel like I can talk to my manager. I am no-nonsense and I don't tolerate absolute disrespect or cursing from completely alert and oriented young people. Yet the manager thinks *I* am the problem and states I should take a class in how to deal with difficult patients....but seems to forget that these patients have a tendency to fire MULTIPLE nurses and even entire hospitals/nursing homes.

No. Nurses aren't the problem. PATIENTS and SOCIETY are the problem. Don't get me wrong. Not every patient or their family is bad...but the ones who are rotten ruin everything. And they are becoming more frequent.

Am I the only one who thinks nurses shouldn't have to put up with nonsense? We should be allowed to say that being cursed out or told to shut up by "with it" patients is unacceptable. Would you go over your manager's head to the Director of Nursing to have this addressed?

I am ready to escape the bedside. I am done with adult med/surg (which I do on a contingent basis). Any other contingent jobs out there that are decent paying and not at the bedside? I am done with acute care for adults...it keeps getting worse and worse.

Patients and family members can certainly be difficult, but under the best of conditions, with timely, appropriate, care given by knowledgeable, caring and competent health care professionals, being a patient/family member and receiving health care is very often a very stressful experience. In reality, medical and nursing care is often not given in a timely manner, from the ED, to primary care, to specialist offices, to just about every medical setting, which results in patients often deteriorating due to delayed diagnosis or being misdiagnosed, or being the recipient of other errors in care. The difficulties in receiving the right care at the right time should not be underestimated. No wonder patients and their family members are often highly stressed and not at their most co-operative and reasonable.

OP; I am puzzled; what did you expect when you became a nurse? Nursing is a customer service role, albeit what we serve is nursing care. Taking care of sick people, who are often not at their most co-operative and reasonable, is what you get paid for. As nurses, the great majority of us are employees; and nurses are not in short supply in general. If you don't want to work face to face with the general public, then for goodness sake find a new avenue of employment. In my experience, all professions/jobs that work directly with the public encounter the same types of problems - a proportion of unreasonable, un-cooperative, demanding clients. You will see it in the higher paid professions also; in CPA offices and law offices, and these clients are usually not acutely ill when they present to these businesses.

Yeah, were is the dislike button?

Huh?

Customer service nursing means we allow patients to smoke, drink and do illicit drugs in a hospital setting so they don't complain about poor customer service?

Customer service nursing means it's okay for a patient to spit on a nurse?

Are you even a nurse?

Those of us who are, are not paid to be assaulted, or to allow illegal behavior.

Geez.

Patients and family members can certainly be difficult, but under the best of conditions, with timely, appropriate, care given by knowledgeable, caring and competent health care professionals, being a patient/family member and receiving health care is very often a very stressful experience. In reality, medical and nursing care is often not given in a timely manner, from the ED, to primary care, to specialist offices, to just about every medical setting, which results in patients often deteriorating due to delayed diagnosis or being misdiagnosed, or being the recipient of other errors in care. The difficulties in receiving the right care at the right time should not be underestimated. No wonder patients and their family members are often highly stressed and not at their most co-operative and reasonable.

OP; I am puzzled; what did you expect when you became a nurse? Nursing is a customer service role, albeit what we serve is nursing care. Taking care of sick people, who are often not at their most co-operative and reasonable, is what you get paid for. As nurses, the great majority of us are employees; and nurses are not in short supply in general. If you don't want to work face to face with the general public, then for goodness sake find a new avenue of employment. In my experience, all professions/jobs that work directly with the public encounter the same types of problems - a proportion of unreasonable, un-cooperative, demanding clients. You will see it in the higher paid professions also; in CPA offices and law offices, and these clients are usually not acutely ill when they present to these businesses.

I disagree with your sentiments, I understand that being in the hospital is a stressful time. My own parent was in the hospital with a life threatening condition, regardless of care , we did not act a fool and we were grateful that she was alive. But some of the patients behaviors that I have seen at my current job is unacceptable especially from well thinking capable adults. Some of the complaints that I have seen escalate to management have been unbelievable. Even older nurses at my job, agree that things have gotten far worse. The patients know that nurses are vulnerable and take full advantage of it. It's important to be understanding and compassionate but certain behaviors should not be tolerated.

this the type of post that makes me sad that there is no "dislike" button, just plain rude.

*Shrug*

Sometimes, I'm rude.

Some people tolerate it better than others.

Don't feel sad. Even though there's no dislike button for you to bash unprovoked, I'm sure there will still be plenty of opportunities for you to express your disapproval...though they may require a bit more effort on your part.

Aaaaand if it wasn't already apparent, I'm terrible at customer service in the classic sense. So, there's my bias.

Specializes in ED, psych.
Patients and family members can certainly be difficult, but under the best of conditions, with timely, appropriate, care given by knowledgeable, caring and competent health care professionals, being a patient/family member and receiving health care is very often a very stressful experience. In reality, medical and nursing care is often not given in a timely manner, from the ED, to primary care, to specialist offices, to just about every medical setting, which results in patients often deteriorating due to delayed diagnosis or being misdiagnosed, or being the recipient of other errors in care. The difficulties in receiving the right care at the right time should not be underestimated. No wonder patients and their family members are often highly stressed and not at their most co-operative and reasonable.

OP; I am puzzled; what did you expect when you became a nurse? Nursing is a customer service role, albeit what we serve is nursing care. Taking care of sick people, who are often not at their most co-operative and reasonable, is what you get paid for. As nurses, the great majority of us are employees; and nurses are not in short supply in general. If you don't want to work face to face with the general public, then for goodness sake find a new avenue of employment. In my experience, all professions/jobs that work directly with the public encounter the same types of problems - a proportion of unreasonable, un-cooperative, demanding clients. You will see it in the higher paid professions also; in CPA offices and law offices, and these clients are usually not acutely ill when they present to these businesses.

Er, no.

A family member of mine was in the ED fairly recently. Her nurse was getting slammed that night (I happened to know the nurse ... and she was closing in on tears as she was getting another trauma on top of the already full load she had). This family member was stable; she was looking to be d/c.

My dad stalked the poor nurse throughout the ED because "they needed to go, damn it ... they've been waiting in this place for TWO WHOLE HOURS." Two hours TOTAL, at a busy metro ED. I happened to catch him at it and gave him hell.

This isn't my dad's typical behavior.

So why act this way?

People do not seem to act their baseline while receiving care. Or maybe they are and we are just seeing them at their very basic selves ... their poorly behaved, egotistic selves.

The selves that feel it's ok to stalk a 22 year-old nurse.

The selves that feel it's ok to spit on the nurse that didn't get your pain medications "in a timely manner."

The selves that feel it's fine to raise their voices at the nurse who can't figure out the TV remote.

I don't raise my voice at my CPA.

I don't spit on the cashier at Target when my coupon doesn't go through.

These behaviors are NOT to be a NORM.

And this "timely manner" you speak of? I'm not even going into that ...

OP - vent away.

There should be a "love" button too. Pixierose, love this post!!!

...

This isn't my dad's typical behavior.

So why act this way?

People do not seem to act their baseline while receiving care. Or maybe they are and we are just seeing them at their very basic selves ... their poorly behaved, egotistic selves.

Sometimes that abnormal behavior is easily traced to fear, helplessness and worst of all-guilt. The overbearing family member that's "gonna take care of... (whatever)" by over the top reactions, accusing staff of not taking adequate care, etc can be seen as an attempt to control the situation. The posturing helps them to restore their feeling of being in control. Or to cover those latent guilty feelings they've neglected their loved one and are going to swan around making a big show. Those people are easy to deal with. It's the ones that you can just see are dripping with self centered egos, those are the ones that make you wish you'd gone for the MBA instead.

All of your concerns are spot on. You have many options away from the bedside. Spend that negative energy towards a positive spin to get away from it.

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

I hated this as a floor nurse. I hated it as a CRNP working for someone because it was no different, they were only worried about the bottom line. No matter what. I had literally no autonomy to practice responsibly, I was always being pushed to do things I did not agree with and was not allowed to confront bad behavior.

I have since opened my own practice and can now practice exactly as I want and nip things in the bud. I wear shorts, don't care one bit to show people the door, and have a very strong following of patients who love the way I run the clinic.

Best of luck, hon. It sure ain't easy.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

I get that being in the hospital or having a relative in the hospital is stressful, but it still doesn't give anyone the right to be jerks to anyone who is caring for you or your family member. Ever.

And screw the customer service model. We work in healthcare...not hotels. When I became a nurse, I expected to be treated as a professional, not a punching bag...literally and figuratively.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
Patients and family members can certainly be difficult, but under the best of conditions, with timely, appropriate, care given by knowledgeable, caring and competent health care professionals, being a patient/family member and receiving health care is very often a very stressful experience. In reality, medical and nursing care is often not given in a timely manner, from the ED, to primary care, to specialist offices, to just about every medical setting, which results in patients often deteriorating due to delayed diagnosis or being misdiagnosed, or being the recipient of other errors in care. The difficulties in receiving the right care at the right time should not be underestimated. No wonder patients and their family members are often highly stressed and not at their most co-operative and reasonable.

OP; I am puzzled; what did you expect when you became a nurse? Nursing is a customer service role, albeit what we serve is nursing care. Taking care of sick people, who are often not at their most co-operative and reasonable, is what you get paid for. As nurses, the great majority of us are employees; and nurses are not in short supply in general. If you don't want to work face to face with the general public, then for goodness sake find a new avenue of employment. In my experience, all professions/jobs that work directly with the public encounter the same types of problems - a proportion of unreasonable, un-cooperative, demanding clients. You will see it in the higher paid professions also; in CPA offices and law offices, and these clients are usually not acutely ill when they present to these businesses.

See post above.

And by the way, my boyfriend is a CPA and my brother is an Engineer who works with multiple clients. They both agree that they don't have to put up with near amount of BS as I do...and they make much more.

Nursing is not a customer service role...are you even a nurse? I doubt it judging from this post.

See post above.

And by the way, my boyfriend is a CPA and my brother is an Engineer who works with multiple clients. They both agree that they don't have to put up with near amount of BS as I do...and they make much more.

Nursing is not a customer service role...are you even a nurse? I doubt it judging from this post.

I've been an RN for over 20 years.

Sometimes that abnormal behavior is easily traced to fear, helplessness and worst of all-guilt. The overbearing family member that's "gonna take care of... (whatever)" by over the top reactions, accusing staff of not taking adequate care, etc can be seen as an attempt to control the situation. The posturing helps them to restore their feeling of being in control. Or to cover those latent guilty feelings they've neglected their loved one and are going to swan around making a big show. Those people are easy to deal with. It's the ones that you can just see are dripping with self centered egos, those are the ones that make you wish you'd gone for the MBA instead.

Of course patients and families are afraid. Of receiving incompetent care by uncaring, immature, arrogant, unprofessional staff; of what is going to happen to them; of medical and nursing errors (which have been shown to happen quite frequently). But really and truly, as nurses, although some of us like to aggrandize our role, as part of taking care of patients and providing good quality nursing care we are also responsible for providing good customer service to our patients. The HCAHPS survey should have brought that to your attention. It's really not smart to fight against this in my opinion; patients and/or their insurance companies are paying the bill and that is why you have your job. Without patients there wouldn't be any money coming in to pay your wages.

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