RNs- Mostly first born? Alcoholic fathers?

[Hellllllo Nurse]

KristyBRN's thread on this topic is very interesting. She has heard that many RNs are first borns of alcoholic fathers. I thought we could use a quantitative poll on the subject.- *Please add any comment you wish, i.e. tell us if you are an only or first born.

Please choose the option that best describes you-

[shiloblues]

I am the youngest of two for my mother but the only child for my father, neither of my parents have abused alcohol, they are still married.

[MaryAnn_RN]

I read a book on a term called codependence, which is something prevalant in populations whose parents or loved ones are physically or psychologically addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc (I'm assuming this is what the study is based on). The book stated that over time, the person without the addiction becomes dependent on the one who does. They often feel the need to take care of them, make their decisions, try to make "right" the things that they think are not. After a while, the focus is taken off themselves and onto something external...often, the other person. One of the classic characterics a codependent may have is the excessive need to care for others... which I suppose is why so many choose the healthcare field. Obviously, not every nurse is a codependent, nor is every codependent a nurse. But I can see how clear the connection is between the two. Interesting poll. :)

That makes so much sense. I am an RN, the eldest of 4 children, both parents alcoholics, both drank themselves to death. Lots of family issues along the way that were never resolved. Now none of us speak to each other .

[det01]

I answered other. I am a 1st born of a schitzophrenic/bipolar father and a severely depressed mother. My mother was and is loving..but my dad and depression took up a lot of her time.

[valkyria, BSN, RN]

i am the first born and the oldest of three and the only girl of a military father. now is that not indicative of a care taker who is a little type a?each of us is a blend of many qualities and we polish the ones that make us shine where are heart is. i do research so i would be interested to know if you have a hypothesis and if your results support it or not, and of course, what stimulated your interest in this question.

[Jacobero]

I replied that niether parents alcoholic, however, my mother is from an alcoholic family, and later (after I left home) developed some dependency issues.

Some could argue that my father is dependant on alcohol, because he does have one beer a day on most days, but he never "had to have it" - as in if he couldn't have a beer, or when he wanted to loose weight it was not an issue for him to not have a beer.

So, I guess I'm saying this was a little hard to answer completely.

[RedZeppelinRN]

Hello Everyone:

First born (adopted) female. Both parents abused alcohol, in fact lots of members of extended family abused ETOH. My younger brother by four years and I do not abuse alcohol. He is also adopted. Now my two younger siblings, both biological siblings, abuse both alcohol and other substances. SO the two adoptive children do not use or abuse alcohol, but the two biologically-related siblings do. I am not sure if it is because of the effects we have lived through or because we do not have that specific genetic marker for alcohol abuse.

That would also make an interesting research project, don'cha think?

Respectfully,

athena

First born, RN, alcoholic father. Mother codependent. I went to a therapist one time while I was in high school. She asked me if the rest of my family was in therapy. I almost fell off my chair laughing. I said, "no, they are all too busy going crazy.

Red

[beverly j]

I am the only child of my father, although, both parents are non-alcoholic

[imanedrn]

My response from the general nursing thread:

Originally Posted by lvs2nrs3535

Hi everybody,

I have a question and PLEASE dont anybody blast me for typecasting, this was not MY statement, it was a LCSW I was friends with. She claims that a huge % of nurses are first born females of alcoholic fathers. Something to do with the fact that as the first born in dysfunction family of origin you are a caregiver from the get-go. Now my father was not an alcoholic, but I am a first born. I was wondering how many of us are first-borns. (Also, she said this to me a long time ago, and I have lost touch with her, so I cannot ask her where the heck she got her information was) I was just starting school at the time and didnt really fight with her about it, just kind of gave her one of the Hmmm, thats an interesting opinion.... answers. Also, she meant it as a compliment, that we take a difficult beginning and build on our strengths and turn them into a career.

So, how many first borns are out there?

KristyBRN

I got a BIG chuckle out of this one!

I am the first born daughter of an alcoholic father. Also, my sister is 7 years younger than I am, and I began near full-time care of her when I was 12 (while my parents were contemplating divorce because my father had an affair and my mother worked odd jobs to supplement our income, including 7-Eleven and Wienerschnitzel, to my embarassment). Also, my mother has borderline personality disorder (which I developed as well...), so I did a lot of "parenting" of my entire family from a very young age.

It all makes sense...

[stelon]

I'm not an RN yet, but I'm working on it. I'm not the first born--but then my big brother is technically my half-brother. We have different fathers. My dad is an alcoholic.

[DA314]

I'm not an RN (yet), but hope to be. As first I thought I didn't fit the stereotype, because I am a middle child. However, I may have answered the poll incorrectly. I am *technically* the first born to my parents, because my older brother is adpoted. Both parents are alcoholics. So it depends if you are truly going with first born, or order of siblings.

[embarrasingfield]

Wow- what an interesting poll.

[BUTTERFLY63]

I am the youngest although my brother is 9 years older than me and my sister is 7 years older. Father drank heavily I guess a questionable alcaholic and a bipolar mother who would never get help.

I know one of the reasons I became a nurse is because as a nurse if something happens to the patient you can fix it and you have control of the situation as a child my family life was chaotic and unpredictible a situation I had no control over and I couldn't fix it.

Maybe it's what makes us good nurses:rolleyes:.