Professional women HELP!!!!

tonchitoRN · Apr 9, 2003

it is not easy having the kids in daycare but it is possible.

so you want to know how it is done. when i worked 7-3 shift i had a baby in daycare. we left the house as 6am and i picked him up at 5pm. now you have to ask yourself if this is right for you. the key is to find the BEST daycare. so that way even if the kid is in daycare many hours at least it is fun and educational.

i finished my school before having kids. think about it. also, there is nothing wrong with having the babies when you are older.

semstr · Apr 9, 2003

You have to make amends. You can't have all in life, or better said, not all things at the same time.

Once you decide to have kids with your partner, they are the most important things there are.

Your carreer is very important too of course, but so is the life of a woman, well most women at least, that you can't have it all at the same time. (well, I think it is the same for men too, btw)

When you ask for advice, or opinions, here, you're going to get them, what way ever...............

ayemmeff · Apr 9, 2003

What Renee, the wise woman, said! :)

P_RN, ADN, RN · Apr 9, 2003

I have very few regrets about my marriage. But the ONE thing I regret is NOT completing my education before we got married. Good luck whatever you decide.

OBNURSEHEATHER · Apr 9, 2003

Originally posted by joyrochelle
Originally posted by KaroSnowQueen
Kids seem to be a ways off in the future for you.

Hmmm...ya think so? what would make you say that, exactly?

Because I have 45 year old primips all the time. Nobody says you HAVE to have kids by a certain age (well, your mom might, but you can't really factor that advice in )

OBNURSEHEATHER · Apr 9, 2003

Originally posted by semstr
Once you decide to have kids with your partner, they are the most important things there are.

WOOT! Well said Renee.

When you have kids, you have to be ready to give them everything. Doesn't matter when it happens, but what you are wiling to put into it when it does.

ceecel.dee, MSN, RN · Apr 9, 2003

Hey...slow down a bit!

Graduate school takes 2 years! That's not long. But it is hard to get back to after you already have the 1.5 kids who will bleed you dry!

Stay the course! Will the possibility of giving up a home birth ruin your family? I'll bet you are very young yet, and I doubt 2 years will affect your birth experience much at this point.

Do not give up the love of your life.

Patience and humor is what makes a marriage work, and makes life more pleasant too.

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 9, 2003

I dunno, but whoever said "You can have it all" (Gloria Steinhem?) was only part-right! And a whole generation of women have been sadly mislead and overworked to death as a result.

Lemme tell ya, having a baby, going to school and working part time are TOUGH. Not to mention tackling a new marriage. I don't know how old you are, but what is the rush on having a kid?And how easy or quickly do you think grad school is? Even going fulltime, it takes a minimum of two years.

As far as babymaking went, I waited a few years after we married and am so glad I did. My husband and I needed "us" time before we became parents. I went to nursing school (not even grad school), raising a boy who was a preschooler and it was amazingly difficult at times. AND I did NOT work at all outside going to school, being a mom, and a wife to military man.

You and your fiance would do well to sit down and evaluate REALLY honestly what your priorities are. I do NOT begin to see HOW you believe you can have a new marriage and baby, work and go to school to be a CNM (of all things!). I honestly don't. And even if you DO manage, something or someone *will* suffer. You say you don't want to use day care. How do you plan to do all this and get by without it? IMPOSSIBLE unless hubby is a fulltime dad at home.

So, you and the fiance need to sit down and talk VERY honestly about what your goals are for the next year, 5 years and 10 years (perhaps) down the road. Try to envision where you two see yourselves TOGETHER 5 years from now. And then outline what you must do to get there.

You CAN have it all, yes. But NOT ALL AT ONCE. Trust me, from experience, I speaketh. Try and you will be on a fast-track to burnout and fatigue and will not feel like you are doing ANY of it "well". Good luck in whatever decisions you make.

Teshiee · Apr 9, 2003

I often wonder how some women do it! I think Caroladybelle hit the nail right on the head. Get your degree now while you don't have the kids to worry about! It may be hard at first but then you have to consider how hard it is to raise a family and go to school why make your life hard when you can do it now get it over with and later down the line have all the babies you want. I have heard too many women giving up their goals and aspirations to raise kids ending up having resentment or worse their husband leaves them. Not to say he would ever do this to you. There are no guarantees in life and if things do work out that is wonderful and if not at least you fulfilled your dream... I know some think I am being cold but it is time for women in general to stop sacrificing their dreams for a man!!!!!!!

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 9, 2003

One more thing I wanna say: Til you have kids, you have NO idea how hard it will be or how much time and energy they consume. Imagine it and then maybe multiply that image times 10. It is work work work...but a labor of love. Hon, TRUST me...if you can wait, WAIT!!!!! Fulfill your personal goals and dreams FIRST!!! You will NOT be sorry you did!

ceecel.dee, MSN, RN · Apr 10, 2003

Yeah! What she said! (refering to SmilingBlueEyes). :cool:

joyrochelle · Apr 10, 2003

I hear you all.....and believe me, I have a better idea what I want to do....thanks again for all the input ( however some surly).

We have talked...and decided to not talk about it for awhile, cuz we have worried it into a frenzy right now...i think we are both individuals sensitive to what eachother wants and needs, and were afraid that we were shortcoming the other....but we are straight now, honest and truly....And I am happy that my goal will remain as planned ( after some clarification on both our parts about the kid timeline) and I feel really comfortable about this very wonderful and exciting prospect!

thanks again....i will name our kids after you....and you...and you....but not you....cuz your name is funky..

..but you..Definitely...

:kiss

ps---please stop telling eachother that i was selling out my goals for a man...that hurts me feelins'!! I have had my eye on this profession for 6 years now....whatever would i stop now for???