Patients "waiting to die"

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in ICU, ER.

I have a pt right now that has been actively dying for about 2 weeks now. I was super surprised when she lived through last weekend and she is still alive as I type. She has had her final religious blessings and she has seen all of her family. I have also been told that people "hang on" because they are in pain (she seems to be well-controlled) and sometimes they want to die alone so I tried to give her some time alone last night without abandoning her.

What are some other reasons you have experienced?

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Specializes in onc, M/S, hospice, nursing informatics.

I also have a patient like this. She has been anuric for three weeks, unresponsive with respirations about 5-6/minute with morphine 15 mg/hr. I told her family to tell her it was okay for her to go. They did... but she's still here! I don't know what to tell them either!

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Specializes in ICU, ER.
I also have a patient like this. She has been anuric for three weeks, unresponsive with respirations about 5-6/minute with morphine 15 mg/hr. I told her family to tell her it was okay for her to go. They did... but she's still here! I don't know what to tell them either!

Omg how awful!! The night before last my pt was having periods of apnea > 60 seconds...I didn't even realize that was possible! Then last night she was breathing every 15-20 seconds. So sad! I wish there was something I could do to help her.

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Specializes in Hospice.

In almost 40 years of nursing, I've never been able to pinpoint exactly when someone is going to die.

In talking to families, I make the point that the process for us is just like waiting for a baby to be born ... you know it's going to happen, but just can't nail down when ... except that we have a lot more control over the timing of a birth than a death.

It's simply not our timetable and a prime example of the limits of our control.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgical ICU.

Some believe it is a personal journey we must go through; when she is ready, she will die on her terms.. Some hold on tooth and nail, others like my granddad waited until everyone came to see him and when the last person let, 5 minutes later he took his last breath..

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Specializes in Hospice.
Omg how awful!! The night before last my pt was having periods of apnea > 60 seconds...I didn't even realize that was possible! Then last night she was breathing every 15-20 seconds. So sad! I wish there was something I could do to help her.

You are helping her ... keeping her clean and comfortable while she goes home in her own time and her own way, supporting her family so that she knows they're ok and generally keeping the peace.

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Specializes in ICU, ER.
You are helping her ... keeping her clean and comfortable while she goes home in her own time and her own way, supporting her family so that she knows they're ok and generally keeping the peace.

I know I'm helping her deep down, but I just feel so helpless watching her lay there so lifeless. Sounds selfish, but it's terrible. Even though I think she looks comfortable and I'm giving her pain meds with every moan or grimace, I still feel like she's suffering.

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Specializes in Hospice.
I know I'm helping her deep down, but I just feel so helpless watching her lay there so lifeless. Sounds selfish, but it's terrible. Even though I think she looks comfortable and I'm giving her pain meds with every moan or grimace, I still feel like she's suffering.

In what way?

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Specializes in ICU, ER.
In what way?

I don't know... She just has this look on her face of pain, but not physical pain. I know I sound crazy, but I think she is trying hard to die, but something is keeping her here or her body isn't letting her.

I don't know what's making me think this. I'm not religious, not really spiritual, have never thought anything like this before. Maybe it's stress and lack of sleep...

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Specializes in Cardiology and ER Nursing.

The biochemical disease processes haven't become oppressive enough to halt the biochemical processes that sustain "life".

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Specializes in ICU, ER.
The biochemical disease processes haven't become oppressive enough to halt the biochemical processes that sustain "life".

This is how I have always viewed this topic in the past. Purely scientific. The patient will die when their organs and vital processes fail. There's just something different about this lady, but I can't explain it.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I don't know... She just has this look on her face of pain, but not physical pain. I know I sound crazy, but I think she is trying hard to die, but something is keeping her here or her body isn't letting her.

I don't know what's making me think this. I'm not religious, not really spiritual, have never thought anything like this before. Maybe it's stress and lack of sleep...

Each person has their own personal journey. We can never be sure what makes some hang on longer than others. Maybe she is waiting for something.......we just don't know what it is. I worked with a nurse who would give people the "angel talk". A she performed her care she would tell them to follow the angels. She would position them on their left hand side and tell them it was oK to follow the angels that their family really is OK and they want her to be at peace......and within that shift the patient would usually peacefully slip away.

I don't know, we used to tease her about being the angel of death...... but she had a pretty good sucess rate.:o

Know that you can't control this process that the powers that be have their own time table. make sure her family has told her it's ok and they will be fine. When you care for her and keep her comfy, medicatied, and clean. YOu are performing miracles......just feeling this sp deeply you are a true nurse indeed!!! ((HUGS))

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