Night shift Moms - how do you do it?

LouisVRN, RN · Oct 26, 2011

It really depends on how much support you have as to how doable it is. I am fortinate that my husband owns his own business and can set his own hours and work from home. As such I try to schedule my shifts back to back. When my husband worked Monday thru Friday I would work fri sat sun granted it meant we didn't see each other much but it worked when we needed it to. Now its a bit easier but still prefer the three in a row. Before my first night I get up when I normally do and try to get a nap before work for a couple hours. Then work that night sleep the following day work that night sleep the following day work that night then sleep a couple hours get up and enjoy my four days off with my family.

Good Morning, Gil · Oct 26, 2011

I was on night shift before in my previous position, am going to nights again. Don't know what moms do b/c I'm not a mom. I do know that plenty of moms do it, don't know what they do, and one actually said that it works well for her family. Well, you def. sleep in b/w shifts (and hopefully your shifts will be clumped together for maximum time off (since on nights you need to sleep some after your last shift of the week). I do know a few people who did keep a night schedule on their days off, too, but I would find that depressing (I've done it before, depressing lol), so most people switch back and forth b/w night shift and being awake on your days off. Hence, why I'm probably usually tired lol, but I require a lot of sleep (8-9 hrs/night (and maybe you don't) and I don't get that in b/w working 12's..usually just 5-6 hours, sometimes less, so I usually tend to want to sleep a lot after the last shift of the week lol, which is a bad thing b/c that is when you want to sleep for about 3 hours so that you can go to bed that night so you can actually have days off. Since I didn't have the willpower to just sleep for a few hours after the last shift of the week, I tried just staying up for 24 hours, and I was a crabby nightmare lol. You'll find what works for you. It def. can be done, though.

VanLpn · Oct 26, 2011

I am almost a new nurse and almost all of the job postings I've applied for are for night shifts (there's not much else out there). I have two school age children and really wonder how this will work. I can't imagine that I will be "night shift" on my days off as well -- I want to go to soccer and karate and all that stuff on my days off. But at the same time, I imagine it would be very difficult to switch back and forth between schedules for an extended period of time. So I want to hear from the full-time night shift moms out there - what do you do?

I know you just asked for night shift mom's opionions but being a night shift dad whose wife also works shift work fulltime, I thought you might like my opinion. I work Wed-Fri 12 hr nights. I have a little nap wednesday while the kids are at school then pick them up, homework, then dinner, then wife home and I leave. Thursday and Friday I am pretty much not available. I sleep and work. I commute for 1.5 hours each way so that's all I have time for. If my wife works a day shift on either of those days my night will suck. I have to get up at 2:30 to get the kids and then I'm pretty much done with sleep. Most weeks this isn't a problem. On Saturday morning I just sleep for a few hours as I want to go back to a regular schedule, if I sleep all day it's hard to sleep saturday night. This means I spend most of saturday being a zombie. On Sunday, I still feel a bit groggy but I am able to sleep nights on my days off. By tuesday I'm feeling great. It took me a full month of doing this to not feel tired ALL the time. I felt like a zombie at work and on my days off. I like the flow of nights, however even though days have alot of different challenges I'd prefer days. At this point my working 3 12's of nights means no after school daycare so it will have to go on like this for awhile. Just don't count on being of much use to anyone at home on the days you work. If you have to pick your kids up and only get 5 hrs or sleep or so you will be wrecked by your last day.I absolutely could not work nights unless they were clumped together. Working a night then a day off then a night would kill me. I want to get the pain over with and then have my days off.

miss_anneRN · Oct 26, 2011

all4,

It's not that wonky, really! I saw my kids more working nights than days. it can work. i have done nights for 10+yrs successfully. first, (not to sound harsh :hug) you will need to get over not being at EVERY game, the kids will not be forever traumatized if ur not always there. second, you will need a dark room to sleep in during the day (two words ~ insulated curtains~). if ur doin' 12's, get at least 2 back to back. Don't sleep all day if you have that night off. Insist on ur sleep time during the day. Shut off phones ( i kept my cell on that was school contact # and immediate family, o/w landline was off for the day)

My routine was this: I worked TH-FR-Sat 6p-6a ( i was divorced, kids went to dad's for w/e) Stayed up late Wed night, 1am ish, up TH@06w/kids, bus by7, back to bed immediately, usually asleep by 08, slept til noon or 1p. Go to work, home in bed by 08, slept til 4p. Now Sunday, after my 3-in-a-row, I'd be in bed by 08 then only sleep til NOON; very important if you want to get back to day hours! Did this for 10yrs mostly w/o sleep meds. Sometimes melatonin on Sunday to get me back on track.

This last year the 3-in-a-row have been kicking my bum now that I'm almost 40, so I've switched to 1 on, couple off; 2 on couple/few off. I have had to add a certain OTC allergy med to get me my full 8h sleep cause ye 'ol bladder wakes me more frequently now. In less than 5yrs I will go to days, not ready to give up the shift differential just yet (college years for kiddo coming up!)

Night shift is a great way for new grads to find their feet! Less distractions: no meals, no pt/ot/SLP, less procedures, less family, less staff. Night shift can be really fun and a little less uptight! don't think one sits around all night 'cause that ain't the case by any means, admissions come 24/7, lil ol ladies that pee q30min all day do it all night too, dressings saturate and middle aged aged men crump at 0400, delirious pt's don't sleep at all!

Hopefully you have family/friends/ kids' school friends to help with rides. I lived 800 miles from my fam so my resources like that where limited. Most grandparents would LUV to be involved with grankids' daily activities or even meals. In the big picture, you'll do maybe a couple years of nights and either love it or stay on waiting list for days.

If your kids feel love from you when your home, they will feel it when your not home too!

Best of luck to ya! Hope this helps!

ps. I myself do not cook dinner on my second shift or 3rd shift in a row, the first one I try to. Sometimes hubby ends up doing grilled chz, or the kids made yogurt and fruit smoothies, sometimes he makes them a real meal. Healthy meals was the thing I had (still have to) get over; in that big picture is the unconventional meal really THAT unhealthy. Now the kids are old enough to make their own meals:-)

poopprincess · Oct 26, 2011

I am a night shift mom and it is doable, but I have support from my husband. He is in school so he doesn't work. He gets my son up in the mornings and gets him to all of his football practices and games. Now the bad part is I do miss some of his games. I was pretty upset about it at first (had never missed anything before nursing), but I know that I can't have the best of both worlds. Not yet anyways. I am so busy on nights, I know I couldn't do days. Not yet anyways. I do make most of the stuff concerning my son, but my husband picks up a lot of my slack. As for shifts I do all three in a row and get up at noon the fourth day so I can flip. I have a super dark bedroom and I cut my phone off. My sleep is a priority, it has to be. Nights are more relaxed than days are. In my facility the administration is gone, most families are home and I can focus on my patient. I still get slammed and time management is huge.

mmccool719 · Oct 26, 2011

I am a working mom...night shift. I don't have advice for you but several other nurses here are in the same boat and it works for them. Thanks to the other posters for the words of wisdom too!

nurse_autumn · Oct 26, 2011

I work full time nights and am the momma of 2 school aged kiddos. I come home from work, have a snack and go to bed. My husband gets the kids up and off to school in the morning (if I leave on time I get to see them before they leave which is great). He picks them up from school and I get up usually at about 4. I get to have dinner with them every night (though it's really my breakfast, and let me tell ya that takes some getting used to - spaghetti or meatloaf for breakfast! ) We get to spend the evenings together, I get to take my daughter to girl scouts and don't miss their school activities. I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

NayRN · Oct 26, 2011

I have a 10 year old, a 6 year old, and a 1 year old, and I work nights-have for 3 years. I see my kids more than I would working days-7am-7pm means I am always home for dinner. Of course, I am lucky enough to have a husband who stays at home, but only for the past year. I did it for 2 years with both of us working. It is easier if you can work your days in a row. One day off means a day lost. My manager "doesn't do set schedules." I am awake for 24 hours at least once a week-that first night is hard! For example, this Saturday, I have to be at cub scout functions from 7 am until 2:30 pm, and then I have to work at 7pm, so I might get a short nap, but probably not. And no, I don't make it to every game, and you have to know when to ask for help with housework, etc. I also go to school full time, so I have to work that in somewhere! I switch myself around on my days off, and sometimes I am tired, but Monster energy keeps me going. I have considered going to days, but I have decided that I am not ready to give up my nights yet-more laid back for the most part, less ancillary people, less family, less doctors, less management, etc. Plus you get paid more. There are definitely benefits to working nights-if you can figure out a schedule that works for you!

nurseryRN14 · Oct 26, 2011

I am a night shift nurse and mom. I have been working nights on and off for years only because I was in school and it was was the only job open that I liked that wasn't too stressful while in school. Working nights had been hard on my marriage, people would tell me, you let your husband stay at home and you work at night. Well, my husband started cheating with someone at work. I don't know how long that had been going on. Still deny's it to this day, even though I saw them together. We seperated for almost a year 7 years ago and we got back together. Since then I have had another child since then,been married 16 years. I had switched to days, but when we moved to Maryland and I was put on nights by management. My husband is not supportive at all. All he thinks about is playing that dam video game and facebook. He watches the baby because he has too, not because he wants to.Complains about his weekends and dropping the baby off at the sitter. Its all good when he see's how much money I've gotten on my check. His as is broke all the time and can't manage anything. Its gotten to the point where we haven't even had sex since before I had the baby. I am so ready for him to go. Can't stand to look at him. I hate a lazy person. He has all his family here in Maryland and I have nobody. I let him go and spend time with his family and hang out when ever. We have two son's. One is 15 years and the other is 3 months. I wanted another child. Wish I wouldnt have had it with him. I still wouldnt change having our son though. My husband is childish, don't know how to manage money and always wanna show off buying stuff and aint got ****. I told him that I wanted a divorce and he just blows it off. If you wanna be free, then go. Our anniversary was on the 16th OCt. I didn't even tell him Happy Anniversary. I told him that I was not happy at all. Thats the first time in years that I actually really, really meant it. I would do anything for him. Even after he cheated on me, I took him back. Nothing will ever change with him. He doesn't know a good women when he see's one.Don't let anyone tell you anything bad about working nights. It can work as long as you have support from your spouse. Even if you don't have support, don't live your life worried about if he/she is gonna cheat. My husband had never said, " Baby go to work, I got the kids, don't worry about nothing. When you get off, go ahead and get some sleep. We will spend some time together when you get up or on one of your days off. He is all about himself. There are other women who work with me and there husbands are very supportive. If it doesn't get any better. My husband is gonna have to find some place to stay. I make enough to take care of myself and the kids. SO bye. I recently found a job in the day as a dialysis nurse. I haven't started yet. I'm so glad, finally I can see after my kids. F??? my husbands selfish a??.

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Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Oct 26, 2011

I worked nights for many years because of my kids and although I was sleep deprived it was worth every second of every class party.

You need a very involved partner and organization. My husband would get them off to school. I would come home and go to bed in a darkened room with light-blocking room darkening shades. I answered NO phones or doors. I had a cell phone for the school only and I kept it by my bed. I used a fan for white noise and had a note on the door......"DO NOT RING BELL....Owner works nights AND WAKES UP ANGRY, so does the dog" I would get up at 2pm to get the kids off the bus get them snack do a little homework, like special projects, popped dinner in the over and went to bed early.

I made heat and eat meals on my day off so that all We had to do was pop it in the oven or microwave to cook. I usually tried to not work 2 days in a row unless it was the weekend. On the weekend when I had back to back 12's all you can do is eat and sleep and my husband did the rest. He did the baths when they were little and homework when they got older. You will have to miss some games and they is just a reality of being a nurse. But you are there for so much else that you can't do on days.......it makes up for being tired.

Good luck..:heartbeat

miss_anneRN · Oct 26, 2011

...I am awake for 24 hours at least once a week-that first night...

If one must absolutely be awake 24h, PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE, DO NOT DRIVE IN THAT CONDITION.

Studies have shown that that driving tired is = to or worse than drunk driving.

I could site bunches of stories but the fact is IT CAN BE FATAL!! Have someone else drive.