Night shift Moms - how do you do it?

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I am almost a new nurse and almost all of the job postings I've applied for are for night shifts (there's not much else out there). I have two school age children and really wonder how this will work. I can't imagine that I will be "night shift" on my days off as well -- I want to go to soccer and karate and all that stuff on my days off. But at the same time, I imagine it would be very difficult to switch back and forth between schedules for an extended period of time. So I want to hear from the full-time night shift moms out there - what do you do?

I know you just asked for night shift mom's opionions but being a night shift dad whose wife also works shift work fulltime, I thought you might like my opinion. I work Wed-Fri 12 hr nights. I have a little nap wednesday while the kids are at school then pick them up, homework, then dinner, then wife home and I leave. Thursday and Friday I am pretty much not available. I sleep and work. I commute for 1.5 hours each way so that's all I have time for. If my wife works a day shift on either of those days my night will suck. I have to get up at 2:30 to get the kids and then I'm pretty much done with sleep. Most weeks this isn't a problem. On Saturday morning I just sleep for a few hours as I want to go back to a regular schedule, if I sleep all day it's hard to sleep saturday night. This means I spend most of saturday being a zombie. On Sunday, I still feel a bit groggy but I am able to sleep nights on my days off. By tuesday I'm feeling great. It took me a full month of doing this to not feel tired ALL the time. I felt like a zombie at work and on my days off. I like the flow of nights, however even though days have alot of different challenges I'd prefer days. At this point my working 3 12's of nights means no after school daycare so it will have to go on like this for awhile. Just don't count on being of much use to anyone at home on the days you work. If you have to pick your kids up and only get 5 hrs or sleep or so you will be wrecked by your last day.I absolutely could not work nights unless they were clumped together. Working a night then a day off then a night would kill me. I want to get the pain over with and then have my days off.

Van, thanks for the reply! I didn't intend to be "gendercentric;" of course dads would struggle with this as well! I imagine that the hardest adjustment for me will be to sleep for only a few hours after that last shift to get back on the day schedule. I am one of those people who needs their 8 hours of sleep and it just seems like it will be so hard to get up and be functional after working three 12s and then only getting a few hours of sleep. But it's encouraging to hear from other parents who are doing it and don't necessarily advise against it.

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all4,

It's not that wonky, really! I saw my kids more working nights than days. it can work. i have done nights for 10+yrs successfully. first, (not to sound harsh :hug) you will need to get over not being at EVERY game, the kids will not be forever traumatized if ur not always there. second, you will need a dark room to sleep in during the day (two words ~ insulated curtains~). if ur doin' 12's, get at least 2 back to back. Don't sleep all day if you have that night off. Insist on ur sleep time during the day. Shut off phones ( i kept my cell on that was school contact # and immediate family, o/w landline was off for the day)

My routine was this: I worked TH-FR-Sat 6p-6a ( i was divorced, kids went to dad's for w/e) Stayed up late Wed night, 1am ish, up TH@06w/kids, bus by7, back to bed immediately, usually asleep by 08, slept til noon or 1p. Go to work, home in bed by 08, slept til 4p. Now Sunday, after my 3-in-a-row, I'd be in bed by 08 then only sleep til NOON; very important if you want to get back to day hours! Did this for 10yrs mostly w/o sleep meds. Sometimes melatonin on Sunday to get me back on track.

This last year the 3-in-a-row have been kicking my bum now that I'm almost 40, so I've switched to 1 on, couple off; 2 on couple/few off. I have had to add a certain OTC allergy med to get me my full 8h sleep cause ye 'ol bladder wakes me more frequently now. In less than 5yrs I will go to days, not ready to give up the shift differential just yet (college years for kiddo coming up!)

Night shift is a great way for new grads to find their feet! Less distractions: no meals, no pt/ot/SLP, less procedures, less family, less staff. Night shift can be really fun and a little less uptight! don't think one sits around all night 'cause that ain't the case by any means, admissions come 24/7, lil ol ladies that pee q30min all day do it all night too, dressings saturate and middle aged aged men crump at 0400, delirious pt's don't sleep at all!

Hopefully you have family/friends/ kids' school friends to help with rides. I lived 800 miles from my fam so my resources like that where limited. Most grandparents would LUV to be involved with grankids' daily activities or even meals. In the big picture, you'll do maybe a couple years of nights and either love it or stay on waiting list for days.

If your kids feel love from you when your home, they will feel it when your not home too!

Best of luck to ya! Hope this helps!

ps. I myself do not cook dinner on my second shift or 3rd shift in a row, the first one I try to. Sometimes hubby ends up doing grilled chz, or the kids made yogurt and fruit smoothies, sometimes he makes them a real meal. Healthy meals was the thing I had (still have to) get over; in that big picture is the unconventional meal really THAT unhealthy. Now the kids are old enough to make their own meals:-)

I have actually been working as a tech (days) for about a year and a half now while I am school, and mostly on weekends, so I am already missing all the games. I guess that's why it's a concern for me once I am a nurse --- I want to actually be there for at least a few of them for once!! I thought maybe I would be a complete zombie during those games or whatever is going on during my off days, but it doesn't sound like it's that way for most of you who are already doing this (encouraging!). I am also very lucky because both my parents and my husband's parents are in the area and they already help us out so much. I give HUGE kudos to you guys who are able to keep up without that extended family nearby! I totally forgot that night shift nurses get shift differentials --- that feels like an added bonus since I haven't even been thinking about that so far!

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i work full time nights and am the momma of 2 school aged kiddos. i come home from work, have a snack and go to bed. my husband gets the kids up and off to school in the morning (if i leave on time i get to see them before they leave which is great). he picks them up from school and i get up usually at about 4. i get to have dinner with them every night (though it's really my breakfast, and let me tell ya that takes some getting used to - spaghetti or meatloaf for breakfast! ) we get to spend the evenings together, i get to take my daughter to girl scouts and don't miss their school activities. i wouldn't have it any other way!!!

i have a 10 year old, a 6 year old, and a 1 year old, and i work nights-have for 3 years. i see my kids more than i would working days-7am-7pm means i am always home for dinner. of course, i am lucky enough to have a husband who stays at home, but only for the past year. i did it for 2 years with both of us working. it is easier if you can work your days in a row. one day off means a day lost. my manager "doesn't do set schedules." i am awake for 24 hours at least once a week-that first night is hard! for example, this saturday, i have to be at cub scout functions from 7 am until 2:30 pm, and then i have to work at 7pm, so i might get a short nap, but probably not. and no, i don't make it to every game, and you have to know when to ask for help with housework, etc. i also go to school full time, so i have to work that in somewhere! i switch myself around on my days off, and sometimes i am tired, but monster energy keeps me going. i have considered going to days, but i have decided that i am not ready to give up my nights yet-more laid back for the most part, less ancillary people, less family, less doctors, less management, etc. plus you get paid more. there are definitely benefits to working nights-if you can figure out a schedule that works for you!

lol, i am so glad i posted here. i am actually starting to feel like i will be lucky to get a night shift!! i am really happy to hear from so many parents who this is working for. i was imagining myself all alone at nights on my off-nights, trying to fill my time at the empty wal-mart or 24-hour gym, yelling at my kids during the day to just let me sleep...

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I worked nights for many years because of my kids and although I was sleep deprived it was worth every second of every class party.

You need a very involved partner and organization. My husband would get them off to school. I would come home and go to bed in a darkened room with light-blocking room darkening shades. I answered NO phones or doors. I had a cell phone for the school only and I kept it by my bed. I used a fan for white noise and had a note on the door......"DO NOT RING BELL....Owner works nights AND WAKES UP ANGRY, so does the dog" I would get up at 2pm to get the kids off the bus get them snack do a little homework, like special projects, popped dinner in the over and went to bed early.

I made heat and eat meals on my day off so that all We had to do was pop it in the oven or microwave to cook. I usually tried to not work 2 days in a row unless it was the weekend. On the weekend when I had back to back 12's all you can do is eat and sleep and my husband did the rest. He did the baths when they were little and homework when they got older. You will have to miss some games and they is just a reality of being a nurse. But you are there for so much else that you can't do on days.......it makes up for being tired.

Good luck..:heartbeat

LOL at the note on the door -- I'll definitely make my own! We get a lot of door-to-door salespeople in my neighborhood (usually Verizon). I wonder if I can find a doorbell that would deliver a shock if touched??? :lol2:

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Van, thanks for the reply! I didn't intend to be "gendercentric;" of course dads would struggle with this as well! I imagine that the hardest adjustment for me will be to sleep for only a few hours after that last shift to get back on the day schedule. I am one of those people who needs their 8 hours of sleep and it just seems like it will be so hard to get up and be functional after working three 12s and then only getting a few hours of sleep. But it's encouraging to hear from other parents who are doing it and don't necessarily advise against it.

I'm not going to lie...it is usually very very hard. There have been a couple of times that I just couldn't do it...I ended up regretting it that night though when I couln't fall asleep until 2 or 3 am. If my wife is home on Saturday she has a nice big starbucks coffee waiting for me when I get up. That helps. Also it's helpful to plan some family activity for Saturday afternoon like taking the kids to the wave pool or something, that way I have to get up.

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