New grad frustrated, but trapped...in a "profession" i HATE. - page 3

I am doing an internship now that lasts 3 months. I have to either work 1 year to pay that off or I have to pay 18k to cover the expenses of this internship. I HATE it. I hatenursing.I can't stand... Read More

  1. by   cherrybreeze
    Quote from applescruffette
    Or it could be the possible ADHD...the slight irregularities in her brain she cannot control...talking. ADHDers already have enough problems their whole lives being called lazy, ignorant, stupid, scatterbrained, and...childish! We notoriously have trouble delaying instant gratification. If she hasn't been diagnosed but she has ADHD, she likely hasn't learned how to delay such things.
    I understand that.....but, by already stating that she has ADHD, or thinking she does, then you have to take the next step and seek to treat it/deal with it properly, if you are already recognizing it's impact. (I would say the same to someone that c/o chronic pain, or whatever, and it's interference in the workplace but who does nothing to treat/alleviate it). I did also mention THAT in my post, but that got left out in your quote (hm).
  2. by   Baloney Amputation
    Quote from cherrybreeze
    I understand that.....but, by already stating that she has ADHD, or thinking she does, then you have to take the next step and seek to treat it/deal with it properly, if you are already recognizing it's impact. (I would say the same to someone that c/o chronic pain, or whatever, and it's interference in the workplace but who does nothing to treat/alleviate it). I did also mention THAT in my post, but that got left out in your quote (hm).
    You also wouldn't tell someone in chronic pain that their complaints of depression are childish, even though it's a well-known symptom of chronic pain. You called a well-known symptom of ADHD childish. You could give the world's best advice, but if it follows the dissing of a symptom with a character judgment, it's hard to listen to the advice.
  3. by   cherrybreeze
    How am I supposed to know that ADHDers have issues with instant gratification? I've never seen it as one, in people I've come across with it. I won't apologize because I didn't act maliciously. You're saying you didn't like the descriptor that I put on the behavior, but that is what it is. That behavior. Not knowing that it's such a "classic" thing (you also run in to a lot of excuses these days, and I don't know what's what here). Again, if it's a symptom someone is obviously struggling with, and KNOW they are struggling with, it needs to be further investigated. How many times do I have to say that?
  4. by   Baloney Amputation
    Quote from cherrybreeze
    How am I supposed to know that ADHDers have issues with instant gratification? I've never seen it as one, in people I've come across with it. I won't apologize because I didn't act maliciously. You're saying you didn't like the descriptor that I put on the behavior, but that is what it is. That behavior. Not knowing that it's such a "classic" thing (you also run in to a lot of excuses these days, and I don't know what's what here). Again, if it's a symptom someone is obviously struggling with, and KNOW they are struggling with, it needs to be further investigated. How many times do I have to say that?
    I'm not sure how many times you have to say it, but it reminds me of a joke I heard about ADHDers.

    How many ADHDers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Wanna go ride bikes?

    (That's a symptom too--the forgetfulness that goes along with the ideas going from one to another to another like changing channels on Dish TV on crack--not a willful behavior or excuse. It's not really that fun.)
    Last edit by Baloney Amputation on Jun 15, '09
  5. by   rnffemtguy
    Quote from Perpetual Student
    Your case serves a good lesson to others: if a place has to impose such a huge monetary penalty for quitting there's probably a reason for it.
    Wow, very well put, I agree 100% with Perpetual Student. As desperate for a job as I am I'd never take an internship or any job that comes with that kind of stipulation, as stated, if there's that kind of penalty for quitting there must be a reason for it....
  6. by   kw123
    Hi i just wanted to say that maybe other nursing positions would be more appropraite something such as public health dealing with patients in the community is slower paced with out the continous documentation.
  7. by   NeoNurseTX
    You are 'naturally a little ADHD'...self diagnosing kills me. If I hear something like "I'm OCD about that"...it just grinds on my nerves. Aren't we all a little picky about someting or distracted at times? Most people that say things like this have NO IDEA what it's like to actually live with the disorder.

    Anyway, give it time. Those experts you see didn't start knowing it all. The first year really is the hardest (hence a forum just for that!) and most new grads seem to hate nursing at first.

    Out of curiosity, if you don't pay back for a broken contract, what do they do to you? Does it hurt your credit score? Black list you? GIve you a bad reference? Surely a hospital will not take you to court because that could cost way more than you even owe them.
  8. by   maelstrom143
    Sorry to hear you are having such a miserable time. Please remember that all things are hard at the beginning, but nursing will be much more so related to the fact that we are often expected to be one-man bands. Paying such a huge penalty is outrageous. I would have to agree w/the others who said you should try to stick it out.
    I have an ADHD son at home and my poor darling is always and forever being yelled at by his dad. It is nerve-racking. I can imagine this is what you deal with at work all the time.
    Some pointers that might help:
    Arrive 15-30min early to your shift. Use the time to review what you are going to do during the shift, look at things that you might not have time to look at/review during your regular shift hours.
    Stay 15-30min after your shift, explore, look around, become comfortable w/your environment. See things that you might want to look up when you get home.
    Carry a small notebook, take notes. May take a few seconds more, but as you go along you will come to realize a lot of stuff is repetitive and if you know how certain doctors are going to respond to any given situation, you will learn to anticipate what they want and make it easier for yourself in the long run.
    Make copies of drip charts, frequent meds, procedures & protocols.
    Review information on your off-time.
    Realize that often, patients can act like jerks because they are scared, hurting, and lost. You are the easiest target. However, killing them w/kindness does help. I often introduce myself at the beginning of the shift, ensure I have background on my patients beforehand. I let them know, "I try very hard not to forget my patients. If I am not back within 20min when you have requested something, please feel free to press the call light again. Chances are I am stuck in a room or on my way back to you. However, if I have forgotten, I will thank you for the heads up." People tend to respond better if they know that it is all about them. Ultimately, it is all about them. You will get to go home and leave them behind for someone else to deal with; when you walk out that door, leave all the negativity you have dealt with behind you. It is nothing to do with you.
    This may not be the job you want, but it is the job you have. Use this, take all the learning you can from it, and when the time comes, if you can stick it out, you will be a better, stronger nurse for all the time and effort you put into this job.
    I hope all goes well with you. Please remember, ADHDers and ADDers have their shortcomings, but they also have some marvelous good traits that are an asset to nursing. I hope we can keep you in nursing, but if not, God bless and may you find whatever it is you are looking for.
  9. by   diane227
    Get fully evaluated for your ADHD and begin treatment. Once your ADHD is under control, you will be able to develop the organizational skills that you need.
  10. by   NurseKitten
    Just one more ADHD nurse chiming in to tell you that treatment for it really makes all the difference in the world.

    Your post has ALL THE HALLMARKS IN THE WORLD of an ADD/ADHD brain hard at work...the frustration, the impatience, the perfectionism, and the borderline desperation.

    I have been where you are at. Go to your facility's Employee Assistance Program and get referred to someone who can help. Don't give up on nursing yet.

    Once you're treated, with your mental health practiotioner's help, you may want to consider approaching your head nurse and ask for a few more weeks on orientation. Being medicated changes the entire framework of how you learn - at least it did for me.

    And keep talking to us here. A lot of experience, and a lot of support to be had amongst these folks.
  11. by   ToxicShock
    Quote from NeoNurseTX
    You are 'naturally a little ADHD'...self diagnosing kills me. If I hear something like "I'm OCD about that"...it just grinds on my nerves. Aren't we all a little picky about someting or distracted at times? Most people that say things like this have NO IDEA what it's like to actually live with the disorder.

    Anyway, give it time. Those experts you see didn't start knowing it all. The first year really is the hardest (hence a forum just for that!) and most new grads seem to hate nursing at first.

    Out of curiosity, if you don't pay back for a broken contract, what do they do to you? Does it hurt your credit score? Black list you? GIve you a bad reference? Surely a hospital will not take you to court because that could cost way more than you even owe them.
    Not to hijack the thread, but I agree with what you said about the OCD and ADHD thing. It really bugs me when people say that they're OCD because they check to make sure the doors are locked, or that the stove is off. If they really knew what OCD was like, they wouldn't use that term so ignorantly. Sometimes I will joke about it with my friends, never would I seriously make that claim.
  12. by   Baloney Amputation
    Quote from ToxicShock
    Not to hijack the thread, but I agree with what you said about the OCD and ADHD thing. It really bugs me when people say that they're OCD because they check to make sure the doors are locked, or that the stove is off. If they really knew what OCD was like, they wouldn't use that term so ignorantly. Sometimes I will joke about it with my friends, never would I seriously make that claim.
    Or people will dismiss OCD and ADHD (and other MH issues) with the usual, "But I get impatient and daydreamy sometimes," or "I always have to check my locks twice before I leave the house, no big deal," etc., etc. Of course everyone does little things like this. People with ADHD (and OCD, etc.) have their life, work, marriage, finances, and stuff absolutely disrupted and sometimes ruined by the symptoms that wind up taking over their lives when gone unchecked. Not fun at all. To claim it's just behavior we just have to quit is not helpful, because we can't quit them by sheer willpower.
    Last edit by Baloney Amputation on Jun 16, '09
  13. by   mariasmomma
    Quote from eriksoln
    I felt this way during my first two years. I was convinced nursing was a terrible career choice for me and spent a lot of time thinking about what else I could/should do instead.

    Then I got out of that first job. I realized every place goes about things differently. I became more aware of what the flaws in me were vs. the institutional breakdowns that were out of my control. I then worked to fix the things I was in control of. I also became more aware of the nurses I wanted to be like and paid attention to how they went about their day.

    With experience, you'll know how to get into a more desirable job. Being a travel nurse and changing jobs every 13 weeks showed me the warning signs of a bad unit. I got very familiar with what a low moral unit looks like from the outside. That came in handy when I wanted to go back to being a staff nurse. I took the position I felt offered the best possibility at being comfortable at work. I turned down a higher paying position that had a lot of the "low moral" red flags pop up during the interview.
    Sorry to change the subject, but I am starting an accelerated program in the fall and was wondering what these "red flags" might be. I'm sure I will learn some of them in clinicals, but it sounds like you have a lot of experience to draw from. Thanks!

close