Management Euphamisms....add yours now!

CEN35 · Sep 24, 2001

kinda speechless on this one? time to keep quiet

me :)

LoisJean · Sep 24, 2001

Don't ever fall for this one......

"I've called everone on the list and you're my last hope ...."

Translation: "You're really the FIRST one on my list.....gotcha! "

frustratedRN · Sep 24, 2001

my fav:

thats something we are looking into

meaning....

we know, we just dont care....lol

OC_An Khe · Sep 24, 2001

My all tme favorite

Be queit and just be thankful you have a job

BrandyBSN · Sep 24, 2001

It could apply to university professors as well

Hand it in by monday at 7am- meaning, I have no social life on weekends, why should you?

This is really an easy concept - Meaning, I have been doing this for 20 years, and I like to make you feel dumb.

Please read pages 1-300 in your book for tomorrow - meaning, I am a grad student, and I finally get to assign you homework (physics... ick)

This assignment shouldnt take you very long - Meaning, buckle in and grab the caffiene, this is going to be a long semester.

nur20 · Sep 24, 2001

Originally posted by ocankhe
My all tme favorite

Be queit and just be thankful you have a job

THIS I BELIEVE: THOSE WHO CAN..DO. THOSE WHO CAN'T...TEACH:p :eek:

kaycee · Sep 25, 2001

I think we'll all agree that upper management's only lines are:

We'll check into that

I'll get back to you on that

It's not in the budget

More money?? I thought you were here because you care!

ubcnme · Sep 25, 2001

On the issue of money:

"We're getting a facelift!" (remodeling)=We found money to remodel and make ourselves look good to the county commissioners even though your wages are crap and don't compare to the hospitals/nursing homes....suffer!

frustratedRN · Sep 25, 2001

we always have money to remodel. we dont have money for pens tho.

staffing either.

or raises.

the nice thing about remodeling is that the place looks so nice you forget about how overworked you are...the patients forget about how understaffed we are.

maybe remodeling is a euphanism in itself.

Enright · Sep 25, 2001

I always hated "paradigm shifting" . I stood up in a meeting once and asked the speaker "what the hell are you talking about"...and she couldn't define the term! Of course I didn't last long there!

Then there is "thinking outside the box" and "learning curve". Once as a line manager I was trying to fire a malingerer and the VP told me that perhaps I hadn't considered this employee's learning curve....hey, she'd been there 11 years! I often found in the management world that people hid behind the trite phrases to avoid having to do anything.

aimeee, BSN, RN · Sep 25, 2001

How about "you'll have to be creative"

translation: We don't have the money, knowledge, desire, or resources to solve the problem so if you want the problem solved you will have to come up with something on your own.

And then there's "the XXXX committee is studying that"

translation: We don't really want to change anything but we want it to appear as if we are responding so we are having people spend a year in useless meetings discussing it.

Oh, and here's a new word for you all to use to refer to meaningless phraseology--we call it "bafflegab".

And did you ever see the game you can play at useless meetings called "buzzword bingo"? We should make up one especially for healthcare.