LPN with Battery Charge on Criminal Record-Help - page 2

I need some advice, but first let me give you some background information......... I've been married for almost 14 years, in the process of getting a divorce. My daughter (15) has -never- gotten... Read More

  1. by   James Huffman
    [B]Jim, until you have walked a mile in her shoes, please keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself.

    Would we apply such a standard ("walk a mile in her shoes") to, say, rape, murder, even assault against a patient? Thanks, igloorn93, but my thoughts and opinions are free, and 14year and anyone else is welcome to ignore them, should they be so inclined.

    "She stated very clearly in her message that she didn't want any flames etc. "

    No one is "flaming" her, whatever that might mean under the circumstances. "I need some advice," she said, and I offered it.

    "She just wanted advice on how to deal with her liscence issue. "

    I gave it. What's the problem?


    "Each one of us probably has very strong opinions on each side of the issue here, but that isn't why she posted. "

    My point was that there were other nurses agreeing that assault was an appropriate way to handle the fight with her daughter. I happen to think that the public reputation of nurses is not helped by such statements. We're not talking about a difference of opinion, this is assault. It's illegal. That's why the police intervened.

    Jim Huffman, RN

  2. by   healingtouchRN
    sassy is back talking, smart aleck, & disrespecting elders. Not okay around here. Answering yes or no, without saying "ma'am" & "sir" gets the same too.
  3. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by James Huffman
    I hate to be the one to rain on this little love fest, but let's get some perspective.
    Thanks for being brave. I agree that one should never slap a child in the face. I have a 15 year old who almost deserves it but I haven't. I've come CLOSE!

    Yup, counseling is in order for both parties altho my 15 year old will hardly participate. But MY behavior is MY problem.

    It sucks this affects her job but it IS very serious! Without the consequences it would continue, and would slapping her change her? It would probably just move the two of them to more and more violence.

    Doesn't mean she is a bad person, just needs some help.
  4. by   Gator,SN
    James Huffman, I was surprised to see that you have 107 posts on this BB and I do not recall reading any them before.

    You gave your opinion and advice and that is what was asked for, so even if you are not the voice of popular opinion, I can respect that. Thanks for speaking up.
    I think we can all appreciate it, even if not everyone agrees.

    14year, I am really sorry that you are going through this with your family and your personal life. The BON will have more answers for your particular case. I am sure that this is going to take a long time to work through emotionally...I wish you all the best. No judgements from me, just well wishes. If only we could each turn back the clock and make different choices..........
    HUGS to you!
  5. by   Agnus
    I would consult with a lawyer. Perferabley one who is skilled with nursing issues. I would consult with the state board or have my attorney do so on my behalf as to where I stand with them. I would find out from the court or my attorney what is a waiver and how to get it.
  6. by   powmol
    I lived through a son that went through times like these (from 13 until 17) UGH!!! I have warned my daughter now(14) that I cant survive another child like that, so she better not even start! hahah, hope the threats help! My thoughts are with you.
  7. by   itsme
    James, Keep in mind there is a huge difference between a spanking and a beating. How many kids do you have? By the way, I have 2 and thank goodness they behave, and I havent had to spank them.
  8. by   James Huffman
    Originally posted by itsme
    James, Keep in mind there is a huge difference between a spanking and a beating. How many kids do you have? By the way, I have 2 and thank goodness they behave, and I havent had to spank them.
    I have 4 children, not that it's relevant to the discussion. As I pointed out earlier, one doesn't have to "walk in the shoes of someone else" to make a moral or ethical call. I can -- to give an example -- say that theft is wrong even if I haven't been in the same position as the thief.

    But we're not talking about either a spanking or a beating. This is slapping the face, which is entirely a different matter.

    Jim Huffman, RN

  9. by   itsme
    Actually the reason I asked about kids, is because usually folks without children are constantly giving advice on how to raise them. I do agree that slapping in the face is not a spanking, I was just stating an opinion...
  10. by   Tweety
    Most every hospital and LTC here does back ground checks because of the liability involved in not discovering that someone may have harmed a patient or whatever. I think there was a case here where a nurse aide raped a patient and had a prior conviction of the same.

    I'm not going to judge what you did whatsoever. It was wrong, you know that. But you are not a child abuser, and don't need counseling for abuse. Maybe family counseling to get control of your out of control monster, I mean your teenager, who I'm sure is a good person, just has anger and other issues. Your are just a woman who lost her temper and made a mistake. I've seen the same sort of anger come out in my house growing up. I'm sorry you are now in this situation. Kids are so rotten. I know a teacher who if he looses his temper and raises his voice his student threaten to call Child Protection Services.

    Have your daughter get a job and demand she help pay the bills since you can't work as a nurse for the time being.
    Last edit by Tweety on Jun 3, '03
  11. by   renerian
    WEll I slapped my dtr once. She was extremely hysterical and out of control. She came to once I did that.

    I have wanted to slap two of my stepkids that were out of control. My sd put a chair through our bay window and once put a shovel into a bunch of windows during one of her "outbursts". She is 18 and is still refusing help for her anger. My stepson has punched holes in the wall, choked my stepdaughter and I had to get between that lovely mess. let me tell you I have seen alot of violence. Stepson is fine now after therapy.

    I feel for you as well.

  12. by   Zee_RN
    The way I'm reading this, there is no CONVICTION of battery, right? You were charged but not CONVICTED? That's potentially a big difference. I'd take all the papers with you to any job interview and explain it RIGHT UP FRONT. A court document explaining the waiver would help too.

    When I was in HR 2 years ago, I had offered a job to an applicant; he accepted. We ran our criminal background check, as we always do. A very old conviction came up (from like 15 years ago) from when he was in college and he served an underage drinker who had shown him false ID. He was convicted--no time, just a fine years and years ago. I had to fight to hire this man. My bosses told me if he had DISCLOSED this on his application to begin with, or explained it during the interview, it would not have been an issue. But because he didn't disclose it, it was considered falsification of the application. He, of course, thought it was all a dead issue being so long ago. We finally resolved it by having him write us a letter explaining in detail what had happened and attached it to his file. So, yes, it does get complicated. Just be up front about it in any interviews.
  13. by   mother/babyRN
    James, you perhaps have never been there. I don't condone it either, but things happen. You cannot ever convince me that every caring, empathetic intelligent care giver has never once "slapped" someone. I am not one to give so strong an opinion and hope I am not ever in such a situation, but the question was not posed to discuss the rights and wrongs of what happened; merely to garner advice as to what to do now...Verbally "slapping" someone when they are down, as it seemed to me your post suggested, seems at least and often, much more "abusive". I understand the strength and passion of your opinion and argument, but it does not seem appropriate here....That would simply be MY opinion...Good that both viewpoints are represented....