Loss of a brother - page 3

I didn't really know quite where to post this, so I thought here would be good. My brother died on Valentines Day and I was hoping someone could give me some info on drug seeking patients. My brother... Read More

  1. by   mona b RN
    Thank you all for your posts. I am really trying to work through this. I just feel like he fell through the cracks and yes, I do feel guilty. I know these are normal feelings but it is hard. It has been a really tough week.

    Thanks again everyone,

    mona b
  2. by   mona b RN
    Originally posted by shrinkyrn
    mona, I sent you a PM. did you get it??? hope it helps.


    I didn't get your pm.

    mona b
  3. by   nurse911
    i lost a brother at a young age also...different reason, different situation.....very painful all the same....my heart really goes out to you.....as for the availability of narcotics....i work in a doctor's office...family practice/urgent care, and see EVERYTHING...we have MANY drug seekers, i myself as well as my coworkers go to great lengths to monitor what and when each controlled med was given...including calling various pharmacies....unfortunately....if people pay for these Rx's with cash...there is absolutely NO way of tracking them in an effective way...and the doc's for what ever reason keep writing....i have had to all but slap one doc imparticular that i work with...i'm like...HELLO....you've given him 240 oxycontin, 120 mso4, 120 valium...and now he's back for more 2 weeks later....what the hell....but for some reason....he keeps on handing it out like it's candy...i don't get it either...it's like beating your head against a brick wall....the only thing to do is to keep on doing it though...who else is gonna?

    my thoughts will be with you and your family.....Jeanine
  4. by   duckie
    Mona, I am so sorry for your loss. I will remember you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. (((((HUG)))))
  5. by   kavi
    [[[[[[[[[[ mona ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

    I p.m.'d you too. Hope you receive it. However, I did it before I found this thread---(I saw the note to you in the Independant Study forum). Anyway, now I undestand what happened to your brother.

    That has to be soo hard for you. I've seen so many 'drug-seeking' patients and sometimes it seems such a tough call. Yet, I personally believe some physicians are a little to quick to give the drug to avoid possible lawsuits. That is a sad reflection of the world that we live in, and I don't know if that helps you in looking for who to blame.

    I come from a family with several drug addicts. As a previous poster said, there is NOTHING you could have done, NOTHING you could have said. Your brother was ill. You cannot control someone else's illness. As a wise counselor once told me, the only life you have any control over is your own. (And look how hard that can be!) So please don't blame yourself, please TAKE CARE of yourself. I know grieving is a process of stages, and I can only hope that the support and love you receive in your life helps to ease the pain through each period. Hang in there.
    Last edit by kavi on Feb 22, '03
  6. by   Disablednurse
    Mona, so sorry for your loss. I lost an uncle on Valentines Day d/t alcoholism. I also have three younger brothers and know I would be devastated if anything happened to them. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  7. by   moonchild20002000

    I am so sorry for your loss. It is so very difficult to lose someone we love.
    I lost my brother 2 years ago, I don't think you ever "get over' a loss like this, you just get used to it.
    Big hug and prayers are coming your way.
  8. by   sphinx
    I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the grief of losing a brother.

    As for drug seeking, well, I was involved a few years ago with a man who did the same thing. He did appear to have pain.....usually dental related, but he'd wait until a weekend, or whatever when dentists offices were closed, as they would not give him much to kill pain, or else they'd actually *fix* the problem to relieve the pain. He'd go to the ED and without fail come home with a script for one narcotic or another. And yes, eventually Dilauidid. I was shocked they would perscribe this, esp for dental pain....esp since he had been admitted to that hospital for drug abuse and suicidal behavior. It is hard to be there and see this happening, as there is little you can do. It is an addiction, and unfortunatly, addicts are experts at working the system. My ex had a supposed allergy to Motrin-to be honest I never believed this, but that was just my gut feeling.

    I wish I had some words that could help you, but I surely don't. My thoughts are with you in the time ahead as you mourn your loss.
  9. by   Glad2behere

    I offer my sympathy and condolences. I don't think there was much anyone could do. Maybe he found the relief from the pain he endured for so long, though sadly at such a high cost. May you summon the strength to endure such a loss.
  10. by   Regina66
    (((((((MONA))))))) I too know how you feel losing a brother. I lost 2 myself. One to Crystal Meth and one to a hunting accident, accidentally shot by our younger brother who has been so depressed he is in and out of prison/jail all the time from drinking/drug addiction. My father was an abusive alcoholic who died 6 mos before my brother died from Crystal. There is nothing that anyone can say to make you feel better in this situation. We try to get my younger brother (31) help, but he doesn't think he needs help. It is not his fault that State Trooper was sitting on the highway trying to trap him. This is his way of thinking and sadly you cant help someone who doesnt want help. Time will lessen your pain, but you will always have an ache in your heart for such a painful, useless, loss of someone you have shared your entire life with. God Bless You..
    Sorry this is so long...lot of hurt still....