Is this considered bullying?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hi all :)

if I am wrong about this situation please let me know. I am a brand new nurse and I started my first job two weeks ago. My first week I noticed my preceptor was harsh on one of the nursing aides. She would gossip about her, and get frustrated with her over little stuff.

So, on my third or fourth shift, a bed alarm went off and I went running to make sure the patient wasn't about to fall. The nursing aide according to my preceptor does not get up fast enough. Which, okay I can for sure understand that. My preceptor told me she intentionally tried to push the nursing aide out of the way to prove a point to get up faster. Instead of pushing a nursing aide out of the way to prove a point-wouldn't it have been better to discuss it in person?

I like cristism, but I feel there is a certain way it should be said. She told me she will tell me "everything I'm doing wrong because that is what will make me a good nurse". I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but dealing with someone constantly putting me down I think would be a sign I should find a new job or maybe nursing isn't for me. I appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much.

Hi all,

When I comment back I try to reply to each poster. It looks like it's replying to the entire thread, so it's probably not making much sense. Sorry about that.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Hi all,

When I comment back I try to reply to each poster. It looks like it's replying to the entire thread, so it's probably not making much sense. Sorry about that.

AN doesn't nest replies- all replies go to the end of the thread. In order to clarify who you are responding to, utilize the quote button rather than reply.

Oh I see. Thanks so much.

I think I should ask a question and it will clarify whether or not I am seeing things differently. I see the good in people, however are their nurses that are manipulative, backstabbing, selfish people who don't care about their patients? Maybe I am just oblivious to it all.

Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.

Yes, there are nurses that are backstabbing and downright nasty that will hate you. These personality traits exist in the human population, the nursing sector is not a safe space from all the bad things and bad people in the world. There's a lot of hype about the nursing profession too and unreasonable expectations, that nurses have to be this angelic figure. There are assumptions that nursing for everyone is a calling and that their desire to help others has motivated them to pursue nursing. For some, it is just a paycheck and that's it, they might not even care if their patient lives or dies.

One of my old coworkers was going to discharge a patient without shoes who had cuts all over their feet, they just wanted to get this person out of our ER. Who does that? Discharge a person onto the street with no shoes? We had a clothing closet with shoes in it-they knew that, but didn't care.

I do think that these types of people are less common in the medical field than the business sector and law for example but prepare for personalities across the spectrum. People don't have to like you to work professionally with you. I hope that is not an expectation you have in any workplace, because it is very unrealistic. Respect is something every coworker and patient deserves and should expect, however.

Who knows, maybe nursing isn't for me. I resigned, but the patients and the other employees that stuck up for me I will always remember.

Wait, what?!? First it was a bad preceptor/bully. Then you were physically threatened by the preceptor and a CNA. Now you've resigned?

I'm beginning to come to a very strong understanding as to where the drama originated from and I don't suspect it was the other staff.

#DramaTroll

ilovenursing3,

What's done is done; put this behind you.

I probably shouldn't comment again but since you have put the time and effort into becoming a nurse I will encourage you to review all of this carefully. You are going to need to know how to accomplish your goals despite others' inappropriateness because that is something that almost everyone (within and outside of nursing) will have to deal with at some point. It's a long shot to think one's personal goals can be accomplished while fixating on someone else - particularly someone who doesn't do what's right and who may be somewhat malicious.

You chose to fixate on this woman and her inappropriateness. And the instant you noticed that she wasn't SuperNurse the downhill trajectory ensued.

I will say all of this more succinctly: Do you realize what has happened here? Someone you neither liked nor respected, whom you felt was entirely inappropriate, just dictated your life.

I think you've gotta buckle down in this interim and set your mind to making good decisions and comporting yourself professionally. For your own good, you must concern yourself primarily with your patients and your own self. When you agree to participate in someone else's ridiculous drama, you create more problems, you become part of the problem, and you fairly well sabotage yourself. Please think about it.

Take care

Wait, what?!? First it was a bad preceptor/bully. Then you were physically threatened by the preceptor and a CNA. Now you've resigned?

I'm beginning to come to a very strong understanding as to where the drama originated from and I don't suspect it was the other staff.

#DramaTroll

Well, I am not exactly sure what to say to that as I would have absolutly no reason to make any of that up. I began to think it will just me that felt this, but the moment I had three other employees tell me to ignore this girl-it wasn't just me.

ilovenursing3,

What's done is done; put this behind you.

I probably shouldn't comment again but since you have put the time and effort into becoming a nurse I will encourage you to review all of this carefully. You are going to need to know how to accomplish your goals despite others' inappropriateness because that is something that almost everyone (within and outside of nursing) will have to deal with at some point. It's a long shot to think one's personal goals can be accomplished while fixating on someone else - particularly someone who doesn't do what's right and who may be somewhat malicious.

You chose to fixate on this woman and her inappropriateness. And the instant you noticed that she wasn't SuperNurse the downhill trajectory ensued.

I will say all of this more succinctly: Do you realize what has happened here? Someone you neither liked nor respected, whom you felt was entirely inappropriate, just dictated your life.

I think you've gotta buckle down in this interim and set your mind to making good decisions and comporting yourself professionally. For your own good, you must concern yourself primarily with your patients and your own self. When you agree to participate in someone else's ridiculous drama, you create more problems, you become part of the problem, and you fairly well sabotage yourself. Please think about it.

Take care

I'm glad you made the reply as that is exactly what my Mom told me. She's an RN and told me to fight it. But, I'm the new girl in town. There are several instances where it was myself and my preceptor in a room, so how would I be able to prove what actually happened versus what she would say. Is a hospital going to believe me versus an employee who has been there? Maybe, but maybe not. You are exactly correct-I allowed her to dictate my life, but I wouldn't want to give up my nursing career. I'm an not saying this is all on her, as I don't take constructive cristism well. But at the same time, I couldn't deal with the all extra stress. I was contacted by my boss and I basically said it's better for the unit if I move on. In my years I have worked in other places, I have never encountered such nonsense. It comes down to-I came to work happy and excited. There are other places that won't tolerate what happened.

I apologize if I seem like a lot of drama, but I didn't know where to start with everything that happened. If you don't mind me asking,why wouldn't you want to comment again? Your replies have been very helpful.

Yes, there are nurses that are backstabbing and downright nasty that will hate you. These personality traits exist in the human population, the nursing sector is not a safe space from all the bad things and bad people in the world. There's a lot of hype about the nursing profession too and unreasonable expectations, that nurses have to be this angelic figure. There are assumptions that nursing for everyone is a calling and that their desire to help others has motivated them to pursue nursing. For some, it is just a paycheck and that's it, they might not even care if their patient lives or dies.

One of my old coworkers was going to discharge a patient without shoes who had cuts all over their feet, they just wanted to get this person out of our ER. Who does that? Discharge a person onto the street with no shoes? We had a clothing closet with shoes in it-they knew that, but didn't care.

I do think that these types of people are less common in the medical field than the business sector and law for example but prepare for personalities across the spectrum. People don't have to like you to work professionally with you. I hope that is not an expectation you have in any workplace, because it is very unrealistic. Respect is something every coworker and patient deserves and should expect, however.

Oh wow-discharging a patient without shoes on and cuts on their feet? I wouldn't think someone would do that, let alone because they want to them to discharge quickly. Being professional is probably something I need to work on when someone isn't to fond of me. If they don't like me, then that's fine-most people probably don't, but taking it to the level she did I learned from. The patients thanked me and so did their family members. So, that's all that really mattered.

Thank you for your reply :)

Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.

A good preceptor cares if you succeed and will put effort into training you. They don't have to tell you things the way you like to hear them. I had a tough preceptor once, she was known to not be "nice" and she wasn't honestly. But she was one of the best nurses I've ever met. She put 100% into her work and was a fierce patient advocate. She would tell me honestly when I was moving too slow and why my prioritization was wrong in certain cases. She pointed out everything I was doing wrong and she didn't sugar coat it. But she put effort into training me and explained why what I was doing was not correct. She tried to provide learning opportunities for me.

There were times I wanted to cry and sometimes smack her instead of doing that I focused on improving myself and learning what she was trying to teach me. I didn't argue with her and was respectful to everyone on the unit, every single person and every single patient no matter how small and inadequate I felt.

This experience was not pleasant and was actually terrifying at times because the stakes were so high, the acuity was high and I had to be able to perform. It was the hardest learning experience I've ever had, but because of it, I have been able to handle anything that has come my way since. Unless you are being harassed, you will know the difference and not have to ask, keep your head down and learn as much as you can from the other nurses around you. Be grateful for your experiences and the opportunity to grow into the nurse you envision yourself becoming.

If you don't mind me asking,why wouldn't you want to comment again? Your replies have been very helpful.

Because I wasn't sure if the comment was useful or not; didn't want to be overbearing. I decided it might be food for thought though.

Learning to not let people get the best of us can be a process sometimes. These experiences you've had can be turned to good if you put your mind to it.

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