Is this considered bullying?

[Ilovenursing3]

Hi all :)

if I am wrong about this situation please let me know. I am a brand new nurse and I started my first job two weeks ago. My first week I noticed my preceptor was harsh on one of the nursing aides. She would gossip about her, and get frustrated with her over little stuff.

So, on my third or fourth shift, a bed alarm went off and I went running to make sure the patient wasn't about to fall. The nursing aide according to my preceptor does not get up fast enough. Which, okay I can for sure understand that. My preceptor told me she intentionally tried to push the nursing aide out of the way to prove a point to get up faster. Instead of pushing a nursing aide out of the way to prove a point-wouldn't it have been better to discuss it in person?

I like cristism, but I feel there is a certain way it should be said. She told me she will tell me "everything I'm doing wrong because that is what will make me a good nurse". I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but dealing with someone constantly putting me down I think would be a sign I should find a new job or maybe nursing isn't for me. I appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much.

[Ilovenursing3]

I agree with you. It doesn't have to be as long as I thought for sure.

[nightlightnurseaide]

Didn't read the entire story, but stopped at the start to say thank you for getting that bed alarm. In my the nursing home I work in I can be in the room with a patient and momentarily stop everything I'm doing to get a bed alarm, because my nurses refuse to get up and make sure the patient don't fall

[blackmamba123]

Hello and congrats on being a new nurse. To be blunt, you have a terrible preceptor. It's up to you to decide if you want to work there or not. Are you on the same shift as her? Will she be your boss? That could be a nightmarish situation if so. I've been doing this a long time, so I'm at the point in my career where I don't mince my words or put up with much nonsense at work. I have far too many options. As a new grad you should consider staying at least 6 months to a year before switching jobs. It will help you get your feet wet and look much better on your resume. Last thing I want to mention...your preceptor physically pushing another person is more than just rude as all get out, it's a crime...assault. It's reportable and punishable, unlike bullying which may or may not be depending on how far a person went and the effect it had on the individual.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

If she is literally pushing the aide, that is more than bullying. That is battery.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Didn't read the entire story, but stopped at the start to say thank you for getting that bed alarm. In my the nursing home I work in I can be in the room with a patient and momentarily stop everything I'm doing to get a bed alarm, because my nurses refuse to get up and make sure the patient don't fall

What are they doing instead of getting to the patient?

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Thank you for your response. I feel bad I mentioned in my above post I thought someone would need more than three years expierience to train. I didn't mean it in a manner she doesn't know what she's doing. I could have elaborated on what is actually going on and maybe in my mind is was becoming beyond stressful. I think as a preceptor she should let me know when something changes with a patient and also to help when a patient's bed alarm goes off. A prime example of what I perceived as being team players-I was in the med room looking at which meds were due next. My preceptor was sitting at the nurses station with the nurses aide "who will run circles around me" (her words) A patient's bed alarm went off and I didn't see her or the aide(-not the one she pushed) run, so I ran. The keys to the med room were left on the med cart in the med room. Yup, it's my fault for leaving the keys in there and I take responsibility for that. But, I would have appreciated some type of thank you for caring about the patient vs. "you left the keys in the med room". (The aides always have an extra set) I do things all day long and I love it, but during report she will give say she did everything. Basically it looks like I did nothing all day. She withholds information about patient's that are important for me to know. I'm not sure if she does this intentionally, but it's getting old. I hope this doesn't come across as childish, as when she's giving off report and claiming she did everything all day, I just let it go. I always make sure if I'm not doing anything I ask anyone if they need help. Another prime example is since we are both taking care of the same patients together, if she does something for a patient I told her I don't want to take credit for someone else's work so she should document it. She will do something, not document it and it makes me look like it wasn't done. She will say "well this is late". It's so bizarre to me and maybe it's not even possible someone could be that manipulative.

I'm sure it sounds petty, but I was sooo excited to go to work and work with patients and I still am. I noticed this was getting the best of me.

So, yes you are very correct and I do need to re-focus. Your feedback was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm sure I am the most frustrating person to train as I am new and I ask a ton of questions. I am a what if type of person. I finally give insulin with confidence. I give it, then check on the patient to make sure they are okay. I look back to a week and half ago thinking I was being ridiculous worrying about insulin.

Never become complacent about insulin or any other meds. Confident yes, complacent NO. It is good to re-check patients.

Ask your questions. Talk out the "what if" scenarios. You are there to learn. Your preceptor might not know the answers, try not to embarrass her, but do get the info you need. Although it might be better to look it up, ask someone else, or ask later.

Stop self-flagellating. you are not the "most frustrating" person. Maybe she's just not a great teacher. And 3 years is something, but she is still fairly new.

Find some way to either not worry about not getting credit when she is giving report or speak up and say "I flushed the tube" or whatever it is.

This will end soon, I hope. Your training, I mean.

What kind of info is she withholding? Examples? Call her on it, nicely, but let her know you are hip to what she seems to be doing and that you need to know all info about your patients. You can ask her throughout the day about things, too. "Any new orders?" "

Keep hold of those med room/cart keys. Period. Why do aides have keys to these areas/items?

It is not your job to run breakneck to check an alarm when 2 people are "just sitting" at the desk, especially the aide.

[broughden]

OP,

1. Your preceptor sounds like a bitter curmudgeon who isnt able to effectively give constructive feedback and is also terrible at communicating with subordinates so uses an ineffective passive-aggressive system in place of real communication.

2. On the other hand you appear to be an overly sensitive twenty-something in your first real job who is confronting her first real workplace dilemna. Some people are jerks, this will not be the last time you encounter a jerk at work. It shouldnt make you question yourself or your career. Just get through it and move on.

[Ilovenursing3]

Well, I'm sorry you feel like I'm a "twenty something" who couldn't handle it. Could I handle someone constantly making up nonsense? You're right. I couldn't and my attitude sucked. I'm an adult and when I'm being physically threatened while I'm at work is not something I knew how to deal with. I wasn't going to run to my boss. On the street? Yes, myself and that person would have some words. When another employee comes to me and tells me there is one nurse and one aide acting like children threatening me-is when I called the supervisor and told her I can't take care of patients in an environment like this. It's a safety issue and something needs to be done.

I'm always looking for advice. In that situation, I would like to hear what you would have done about it.

I always check my meds. Insulin was scary for me, but yes now I'm a little more confident about it. But I always double check.

[broughden]

Well, I'm sorry you feel like I'm a "twenty something" who couldn't handle it. Could I handle someone constantly making up nonsense? You're right. I couldn't and my attitude sucked. I'm an adult and when I'm being physically threatened while I'm at work is not something I knew how to deal with. I wasn't going to run to my boss. On the street? Yes, myself and that person would have some words. When another employee comes to me and tells me there is one nurse and one aide acting like children threatening me-is when I called the supervisor and told her I can't take care of patients in an environment like this. It's a safety issue and something needs to be done.

I'm always looking for advice. In that situation, I would like to hear what you would have done about it.

I always check my meds. Insulin was scary for me, but yes now I'm a little more confident about it. But I always double check.

Im sorry when and where did you post you were being threatened?

Your story has changed from one mean preceptor to being physically threatened at work.

Get your story straight and get back to us.

[Ilovenursing3]

It is so much that happened I was more worried about patient safety. The last shift I worked my preceptor and her friend did threaten me, but that has nothing to do with what was important to me. I wanted to learn and do my job. I needed feedback about my skills, her last threat was about her attitude towards me. That's her problem. I could type and type everything, but I honestly don't think anyone would want to read all of the drama. I'm sure she's very knowledgeable and that's great, but I was making the point I had no idea how to deal with the childish actions. At then end of the day, I resigned and within a two and half week period I met my goal. No patients fell and no med errors. They remained safe. Did I make mistakes? I sure did and I need to work on them. Who knows, maybe nursing isn't for me. I resigned, but the patients and the other employees that stuck up for me I will always remember.

[Ilovenursing3]

They were sitting at the nurses station doing not a damn thing. This is my first nursing job. Am I overthinking it or is it possible people don't care and and don't want to do their job? They were closer to the patient than I was.

[Ilovenursing3]

We wouldn't work on the same shift. Since it's an 8 patient bed unit, it's one nurse and one nursing aide. She's not my boss and I probably would never see her again at work. I'm sure most nurses could handle the unit, but not for me. I resigned, I could fight it and prove my case, but eventually someone will stick up to her. Life is way to short for this. If she's able to be on her phone while in the med room(which is not allowed), and get away with it-that's not a place for me. Thank you for your advice :)