I've worked at my facility for 7 years. Prior to the last month or so, I have only ever been written up once, and it was from way back when I first started. I was supposed to work a night shift but didn't realize it. As it turns out, the copy of the schedule I had was only the "preliminary." Bad mistake, but forgivable, and never repeated. After that, I was rarely ever called into any manager's office for something I had done, or possibly done wrong. I was never again written up, and I have always been highly praised on my performance evaluations.
Fast forward to now...
About a month ago, I was written up for "gossiping" about a former co-worker. I believed that she was a terrible nurse and I honestly feared for the patients she "cared" for during the day. I had voiced my concerns to others (leads, etc), but they were not taken seriously. I had to fill out incident reports on this nurse on several occasions for med errors--serious med errors. In any case, said nurse quit our hospital and moved. I said some very derogatory comments about her. I was called into the manager's office and written up for speaking poorly about her.
When called into my manager's office, I completely agreed that what I had said about this nurse was unprofessional and inappropriate... however true the comments were, they weren't appropriate for work, and it made me look like a tool for saying them. I got my first written warning for this incident. I agreed with my manager that the comments were horrid and unbecoming of a professional. I have been very careful with everything since then, as I have a tendency to blurt things out. I certainly have not been "gossiping" since this incident. I told my manager that something like this would never happen again, and it hasn't. It was a very poor decision on my behalf to speak of someone in this fashion.
Today I was called into the manager's office. I knew it was bad when the director (my boss's boss) was in the room. They questioned me about a patient (not mine), that I helped admit last week. To put it nicely, the patient was withdrawing, and it required elephant amounts of meds to keep him sedated. There were several comments made in the room by all staff involved that could be perceived as inappropriate. I actually left the room at one point because I became so frustrated with the situation, and I didn't want to do or say something myself that could be deemed inappropriate.
Apparently, someone said that I called the patient a derogatory name in his room (in passing) to other staff. I absolutely did not do this, and I am appalled that someone claimed I did. Unfortunately, I do know who made a comment in the room (a friend of mine). They railed me and essentially gave me the option of telling them who said the comment, or taking the blame myself. I told my manager truth, but I feel terrible for doing so. They believed me and I did not get written up for it. I did not know it at the time, but the "warning" I would have gotten was a 1-week suspension, without pay 
.
Not only am I scared that I am on the fast track to get fired, but I now feel terrible knowing that my friend, and co-worker may have the same happen to him. The management did believe me that I didn't make this comment--I'm sure the look of udder shock on my face helped! I explained to them that I had been in the room, and that I had been frustrated, but that I stepped out when it came to my breaking point. I did tell them that my friend made the comment, but I didn't know that he could possibly be suspened or fired for it! Now I feel like a worthless rat!
I am fairly sure I know who reported me. This person is a tech and a neighbor of said patient, and I could tell that she was upset by the way things were going in the room that night. At one point I told her that the patient would probably not remember the whole event due to his DTs and the fact that he was given so much sedation. I feel that she was overly sensitive in the situation and not impartial with regards to his cares since she personally knew him. I still don't understand how I became a culprit.
I don't know what to do now. I feel like I am walking on eggshells. I feel like a rat for telling on my friend. I am scared for my job and for his. I came home and cried this morning. I really like my job, and I like caring for my patients. I have never had a patient or family complain about the care I have given them, and I'm shocked that I have been singled out for something I didn't do. I'm at a loss for what to do... I think that once I have calmed down that I should request to meet with my manager one-on-one to ask her what I can do better in the future.
There are some signs I perceive as positive in this situation 1) they believed me when I said that I did not make the derogatory comment; 2) I did not get written up or suspended today; 3) my manager asked me which over time days I can work this next month... obviously I still have some credibility. I have been honest and forthcoming with her before, and I feel that she believed me.
Do you guys think I am on the fast track to get fired? I'm so scared. I'm scared that this will ruin my friendship with my co-worker. They assured me that he would not know that I "told" on him. I feel that I was put in a very bad situation. Was his comment inappropriate? Absolutely. Should the culprit be reprimanded for it? Yes. Fired? No, I don't think so. It's not my job to decide, but it's of concern since I was implicated in the whole mess.
I'm so worried about losing my job, or losing a friendship. Does anyone have any suggestions about what to say when I speak to my manager? Should I speak to my manager? I feel like I'm trapped between a rock and a hard spot, and I could really use some advice.
Of course, I am not allowed to speak to any of my co-workers about being called into the office this morning. I was told that my co-worker will not know it was me who "ratted" on him. I can't even talk to him about the situation, or I face suspension or worse if the management finds out.
Any advice or constructive criticism is appreciated in this situation. Thanks to those of you who bothered to read this long thread.
