Identity Crisis; How many people you know use this board Also, I have my name - page 2

In my Intro to Nursing classes, we are learning by leaps and bounds about: professionalism, ethics, private life no-no's, and all sorts of eye-opening topics that must be addressed when you consider... Read More

  1. by   Rustyhammer
    Mario, I never gave it a thought that you were being yourself and I liked that you put your picture out there(that goofy grin cracked me up).
    I can't help be feel that there is a certain paranoia coming out in this thread. Is it real and am I just naive or have we heard too many stories and are tending to live our lives as if the worst possible scenario could actually happen?
    We all must do what we feel is best to protect ourselves but should we not also strive to be ourselves?
  2. by   Stargazer
    I can't help be feel that there is a certain paranoia coming out in this thread.
    I take it, then, that you've never been cyber-stalked?

    I know at least 4 women who have. I actually witnessed one incident myself, when a poster on another website forum was asking for advice about how to deal with an ex-boyfriend who had started contacting her out of the blue in a very insistent way. She was afraid that he was exhibiting some pre-stalker behavior.

    The guy in question actually logged into the same discussion group to argue, ironically, that he was NOT a stalker. I cannot begin to tell you how creepy and scary this was to witness in realtime. He was very clever about posting in a way that just skirted the edge of troll behavior without ever crossing the line and allowing the moderator to ban him for cause.

    He posted repeatedly, driving his ex-girlfriend, a longtime member of this online community, off the boards, then hung around and flamed a number of other discussions, until the moderator closed the board down permanently shortly thereafter.

    So to answer your question, Rusty, YES, there is paranoia in this thread, but it is the realistic kind born out of experience, and the healthy kind that keeps you alive. This kind of stuff tends to be second nature for women, who are used to feeling vulnerable. Get a copy of Gavin de Becker's book The Gift of Fear if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

    Personally, I feel no one should ever use their full real name on a discussion board. Anybody who knows how to use a search engine can find you. We've all seen firsthand what kind of freaks occasionally stumble into open discussion boards. And those are just the ones who actually identify themselves by posting; nevermind the ones who are just reading. It's not about "being your true self" or "hiding"; it's just about being safe.
  3. by   Mkue
    Stargazer, I totally agree, it's about being safe ! There are a lot of nuts out there.

    We only hear of things happening to others but you never know!

  4. by   NRSKarenRN
    Mario, to give you an example of potential abuse.

    I was involved in the original planning of the Millon Nurse March which was generated from ideas here. One of the head organizers posted personal info re a life event to few board members. Some very nasty posts were started over a statement that one nurse said she would cross a picket line during a strike---upon hearing the other side of the story from union nurses, she came to realize that striking occurred over managements failure to LISTEN to nurses and crossing picket lines only lengthens the time management needs to seriously deal with the issues AND CHANGED HER MIND. Wild frequent posts resulted with a 4 page letter circulated to ALL who had participated in planning. All of the above info was on it with untrue accusations and mistatements that were NEVER verrified as fact before published. I still see this nurses name being vilified on some websites along with her personal info.

    Additionally, the march idea was started by a group of nurses was taken over and incorporated by ONE individual who publiclly incorporated, changed the website, deleted posted information if it didn't suite them and began soliciting funds without any accounting for them despite being a nonprofit corporation.

    It took several months for some individuals to appoligize for false info. Several nurses reputations were tarnished, some never again heared from at this webite. With web posting, there is very little verification of fact. I try and always post website source where I obtain clinical info from and read most material before given as a reference to avoid false info being passed along.
    Thru the past year have posted judiciously and reread every post to make sure won't be misstated and really reflects what I feel.

    This site CAN lead to freindships too. I've met at least 6 posters here in person at ANA events and had a ball having breakfast with Hoolahan. We continue to chat periodically via phone as both work in homecare. Hope this gives you pause to think before you post all your heats wishes....don't want to see anything bad happen to you........AND I MISS that sexy smile too
    (never hurts to look but not touch my husband always says, shows were still ALIVE). My pix would best serve as a Halloween mask!
  5. by   nursedawn67
    Mario, I know you know about patient confidentiality, and I did not mean to imply that you didn't (if it sounded that way). And I see your point that it wouldn't take much to put 2 and 2 together and figure out who you would be talking about. My hope is that they (whoever figures it out) uses rational thinking and realizes we mean no harm and aren't giving out personal details. I hope when you say you are finished now and will only read comments that you meant for now, and not permenently, you bring alot of insight to the groups. Take care....

    Originally posted by mario_ragucci
    Yes, i see :-) I know patient confidentiality is more than extrememly important, and if you appear with your real name, and discuss "x" and "y" then anyone who knows YOU can put'em together and determine your slope (Excuse the graphing connotation) This is excellent.
    In another way, you could be "f (g)" and discuss "x" and "y" and other lines (nurses) could draw a function from the relationship (experience) described in a thread. (something we all benifit by reading)
    But, being "f (mario_ragucci)" I couldn't do that and remain an "imaginary" point on the graph. This is so cool :-)
    Now I see, in reality, I would be wrong to discuss anybody here, even if I changed the names to protect the innocent, because, since i am mario_ragucci, and if I discussed "x" or "y", that would be breaking my own ethical code which is to not talk about a person behind their back. Even if I "vent" a relationship (function) could be derived. And, since I would be disclosing a relationship, anyone could identify "x" or "y" by that relationship I present. Going into personal details (not names) of my experiences here in cyber-space, IMHO, would be breaking my own code. This is so interesting.
    I don't see folks here talking in a mean way about anyone or implicating people directly; I'm not asserting that. I just would be barred from presenting a relationship since I appear with my real name. I am a known "origin." :-) (0,0) And thats okay with me :-) I'm finished now, and will only read comments.

    If the HR person at the hopital is reading this, please hurry up and hire me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. by   pebbles
    It might also be relevant to consider whether your political viewpoints expressed here could come back to haunt you if an employer or co-workers read what you wrote or heard about it, and didn't like it.

    I don't consider this to be enough of a closed community to reveal personal details here. Another board I post on (non-nursing) is much more intimate, and I have become quite friendly with people there, use my real name, etc. And most of my co-workers only use a computer to store recipies or as a glorified word processor - sad to say. They know I talk with people over the internet, sometimes about nursing. Thats all they are ready to absorb, even if I wanted to share more info about what this board is about. AND they aren't interested in hearing how it is for nurses elsewhere -another sad reality. So most of what I am interested in from this board would fall on deaf ears anyway. So no, I don't share that I am a member here with very many people at all....
  7. by   mario_ragucci
    One more sad reality is that an American would be partial for or against another American because of a political expression. I can remember when having a different political expression meant you lived in a free country, and were allowed to express freedom. Today, it seems, more people are concerned with unfreedom, and how they can be as unfree as they can be. No complaints, because times always change.

    America....The land of the afeared and the home of the scared. :-)

    Double plus ungood
  8. by   micro
    Just because I am paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get me!!!!!!!

    :-< :-) hi Mario and all
  9. by   Rustyhammer

    I'm glad to see your picture back.
  10. by   mattsmom81
    There are some strange, twisted and evil people out there--as well as just plumb crazy ones!

    My 8 year old son listened to a phone message from some lunatic who screamed my name and my husband's name and threated to kill us both. Turns out he was a nutcase relative of one of my former patients, who read my namebadge, fantasized a 'relationship' with me and decided my husband was in the way. Our family was severely traumatized by this stalker and I don't reveal my last name on my namebadge anymore.

    Let's be careful out there, it's a crazy world. We mustn't be naive...