I may lose my hubby

tattooednursie, LVN · Dec 8, 2002

(((((((Nanna Nurse)))))))) I am so sorry! I'm not married, and plan to stay that way . . . I'm afraid I'll lose them. Let your love stay strong, and you guys probably will pull through.

rebelwaclause, ASN, RN · Dec 8, 2002

Wow NannaNurse...Sorry to hear the news. They're sending reserve units now?

Hugs to you...

duckie · Dec 8, 2002

Hon, I'm not a military wife, but after ten years of being married to the love of my life, I cannot even start to feel the pain in your heart. If we were closer I'd hug you tight and we'd cry together cause I can certainly identify with your hurt. If you need to talk, please PM me. I'm a great listener!!!!

flowerchild · Dec 8, 2002

Sniff

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Pony Nurse · Dec 8, 2002

My husband just retired out of the Navy last month. My understanding is that they never have to leave for more than 6 months at a time. Why 2 years? What does he do?

My heart goes out to you. I am so happy my hubby is done with all of that.

Anaclaire · Dec 8, 2002

I was an Army Brat and remember from a child's point of view what it was like having "Daddy go to war." twice. Years later I asked my Mom how she felt about those times and what she did to deal with it. I remember her telling me that she knew when they married that this could happen and was just part of the territory. She said the wives of the soldiers were very close (I remember her going to the Officer's Wives Club Meetings) and supported one another because only they truly knew what they were all going through. She also said that she felt deep in her heart that what my Daddy needed more than anything was for her to be strong for him... to let him know in her actions and words that she would be able to soundly "hold down the fort" while he was gone... that although she would miss him terribly, she knew he was doing honorable work and she was incredibly proud of him. She felt that by telliing him this and showing her strength helped him to be stronger too. She didn't want him to be preoccupied over there in Viet Nam worrying about her and his two little daughters... he certainly had enough to worry about doing hand to hand combat with the Viet Cong.

Every thought and action she had was for the intent of keeping him strong emotionally so he could go do his job well and return to us safely. Thankfully, he returned every time... safe and sound.

This is not to say we didn't write and receive letters each week, send "care packages" and photographs often, and make cassette tapes for him to hear our voices. (Cassettes were brand new then.) I remember walking into the den several times while Mom was reading some of his letters. Sometimes she'd be shedding a quiet tear which she'd wipe quickly thinking I didn't see it. It was her own personal journey and she says now that the whole experience made her stronger as a person because she didn't know if she was going to be able to handle it to begin with. She says that my Daddy was thankful and proud of her too. They both say the exprience brought them closer and made them even more appreciative of one another.

I know that from a child's point of view, her strength and calm about the whole thing inspired us to be calm and strong too. We often think the Dad is the head of the family, but in reality I believe we all know that the whole family truly reflects the personality of the Mother. I don't know if you have children or not, but if you do I'd suggest you spend your crying time out of your children's ears when possible... it can affect them more than you'd imagine sometimes. And you will shed many worried tears while he is gone!!! God gave us tears for a reason, so use them as needed.

I wish you strength, calm, and pride in the wonderful husband you have!!! This will be a bump in the road and you'll get over it and be stronger and better and closer to him because of it. He needs your support right now... he already knows how much you love him and how much you'll miss him. Now is the time to step up to the plate and show your military wife's strength. That is what he needs right now... I think...

I, of course, don't know your situation and pray I've not offended you in any way with my words!!! You are obviously in deep pain right now and my heart cries out for your pain to be eased. Enjoy each second you have with him and know you will have friends on this board who will support you both as best as we can!!!

I plan to keep you and your teddy bear in my prayers, if that's ok with you...?

Most sincerely and warmly,

Anaclaire

Sleepyeyes · Dec 8, 2002

(((((((Nannanurse & Hubby))))))

renerian, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2002

I am sorry to hear your hubby is leaving. I have several friends in the same boat. I tried to enlist to serve our country but they said I was to old-almost 46.

Be proud of him. He is a man of honor from what it sounds like. Hugs to you,

renerian

bagladyrn, RN · Dec 8, 2002

((((Hugs)))) to you Nanna Nurse from the mom of a Navy man! Wish I could offer more, but know that my thoughts are with you!

Mary Dover · Dec 8, 2002

Anaclaire,

Your reply to NannaNurse was beautifully put.

NannaNurse - from one military wife to another, my heart goes out to you.

I live in a military town and have seen lots of families endure deployment situations over the past several months. It's never easy. But I do agree with Anaclaire that you will likely tap into strengths you didn't even realize you had.

We are here for you if you need us.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2002

((((((Nanna)))))))

Sorry to hear that. My dad went off to Vietnam three times, which nearly sent my mother into a nervous breakdown. Thank goodness she had us to keep her going.

My sister's husband just back back from the middle east. Her first husband had to go off to the Gulf War.

If you live near a military base, perhaps you can bond with a group of wives going through similar experiences. Both my mother and my sister did that.

Anyway, that doesn't help, but I see what they went through. It's tough I know.

Take care.