I didn't burnout, I went up in a great big ball of flames...

Nurses General Nursing

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Nursing is not for the faint-of-heart, or the sensitive. This I have learned after 2+ years at the bedside.

I started in nursing school as a second-career nurse. I had a BA in English, and had bounced around from proofreading job to menial data entry job after my separation and relocation back to my small hometown. I had friends in the medical field who pointed me towards a career in radiology. Me,being the Type A personality and finding it would take too long to get into the local radiology program, said, "Hey, why don't I be a nurse? I like people, I like helping them. And I can get into the local ADN program faster than radiology!" So, I started my career in nursing.

I graduated and passed my boards, but not without the added surprise of a breast cancer diagnosis two weeks before I graduated. I had to undergo chemo for months and a mastectomy, but I was finally ready and eager to be a great nurse for my patients. To advocate, to care, to nurture. I knew what it was like to be a patient, and I had added empathy for those I cared for.

What have I found? I have had patients complain on me to admin (and their doctor) that I didn't push their pain meds "fast" enough through their IVs. I have been bitten by an anoxic encephalopathy pt (which I didn't mind that much) while I changed his Peg dressing. I have been witness to my supervisor being stabbed by a 400+ lb patient who was mad about not getting the sodas she wanted, when she wanted them. I have had extended family of patients become mad because I had to restrain Mom after she fell out of bed and fought us tooth and nail when we tried to calm her down (and it didn't help when her husband came either). I have had to be witness to a male patient slugging a female tech in the jaw because he was confused and the wife requested we "dress" him before she came in in the morning. (This with the caution that she always sedates him beforehand, but if he's spitting the meds back in your face, there's not a lot you can do.)

I have seen and heard a lot in my meager years of nursing.And I still have that drive to help people. But, I broke last week, and resigned my job on the spot. I couldn't face another night in the hellhole I was in. I have never left a job without notice. But I broke. I honestly feel like I have more to give to nursing. I love that feeling of being one-on-one with a patient, and they know I am 100%focused on them. It's rare, but that's the feeling that gives me great satisfaction.

Right now, I feel like a failure, and I am broken-hearted with my career in nursing...

Good luck in your'e decision. Hope for the best.. I am trying to figure if I should leave long term care for mental health position. As I am informed it is in the Domicilary department. I worry I would be left alone for 40 patients with no other licensed personell as far as nursing. Also, my life is in a chaos right night. (moving, finances, blah blah.) I just do not know what to do?????? help!! me too.

Thanks

I appreciate all the advice... I need it! The truth is, I did have a patient in the last two months who really touched me. This patient was dying of cancer, and the time I spent at his bedside was the most gratifying experience I've had in more than a year. I was kinda ruthless as a nurse (in that I knew I had patients popping up every ten minutes that were a fall risk), but I felt so much empathy for my dying patient and knew I couldn't prevent Mr. Smith from popping up like a Jack-in-the-box the night I had both patients, that I totally went for the dying guy. None of the family was around when I worked, and so when he told me he wanted a Snickers bar, some chocolate, I resolved that next night to bring him some chocolate. I ended up getting him a Frosty from Wendy's. And he really seemed to enjoy it, for the few bites he took.

I do live in a rural area, and though some places can be sketchy (housing projects and such), I'm from a poor background myself and a "nasty" house doesn't bother me. I wouldn't want to go into a dangerous area, but I don't think I have too much to worry about there. (My loving boyfriend has told me if I go in that direction, there's a Ruger with my name on it in the gun chest.) :)

Part of the problem is that we've turned into such a whiny, entitled and selfish society. Mix that with hospitals that place way too much emphasis on satisfaction surveys and it's no wonder nurses get burned out.

It would be nice if we had a little bit of clout and authority to go along with all the responsibility.

Sometimes I'm grateful I work with an elderly patient population. They seem to remember a time when nurses and doctors commanded a degree of respect.

I can well remember that feeling, Brandon. When I was sick as a kid, my mom was very respectful to the nurses. The nurses were the ones to communicate things to the doctor, and they were always very nice to me when they had to come in and "stick" me.

I don't know what it is about today's society but nobody respects the RNs except the old folks. I had a patient ask so sweetly and pathetically could I come in and spend time with her when I had a few minutes. I had no minutes to spare that shift or many others, and the next time I sat with her, she APOLOGIZED for "taking too much of my time". "I'm sorry, honey, I know you've got others to see." This is not how we should be treating our elders. We need to spend the time with them and listen to them.

I shudder to think how medicine will be when I am her age....

Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student.

When one door shuts, others open. I am proud of you saying enough was enough. Thank God for allnurses.com that we can come here to vent and support each other. ((hugs)) Best of luck on your new journey!!:yes:

Specializes in med/surg, psych, public health.

Come on over to Public Health, it might just be your exact fit! :up:

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Aw, sweetie, you are singing my song, as well as that of many, many nurses. But unlike most of us, you got out of the bad situation BEFORE you suffered a complete breakdown, and that gives you a huge advantage because there's still enough of you left to fight another day.

Too many of us reach the point where we cannot take a single. moment. more. and wind up having to go out on medical leave, or worse. I was very nearly hospitalized earlier this year for anxiety and mania related to my high-level, high-stress job, and I've never been the same.....at this point I'm barely functional as a nurse, even though I've been stable for some time. You, on the other hand, were smart, and you gave yourself a marvelous gift by "gittin' while the gittin' was good". You'll find something, I know you will. Wishing you the very best in the future!:yes:

gamecock73,

Your old job sounded very stressful! I wish you the best and sure you will be able to find a better nursing job.

Good luck

I'm glad you got out of there with your sanity. I honestly don't know how anyone does adult med-surg. I don't envy those nurses. I would literally quit if I was placed on adult med-surg floor. There are so many other areas of nursing you can explore. You should definitely try home health, ambulatory nursing, or maybe even private duty nursing. Good luck...:up:

Specializes in OB.

Based on how much your experience with the dying patient touched you, have you thought about hospice nursing? It sounds like it might be a nice fit for you.

I can sympathize with your situation, having started my nursing career with 2 years on a heavy surgical unit, before escaping to Mother/Baby, which also became less and less "happy" with the increasingly crushing load of documentation and responsibilities that had nothing to do with actual patient care. My plan has always been to leave the bedside to become a midwife, which I just recently did, but I still bemoan the lack of acute care bedside positions in nursing that don't burn you to a crisp.

Try Something Different..I Hated Med Surg.. I LOve Dialysis! ...Many Options!

Specializes in Med Surg.

The other day, I had a patient with the most unreasonable and abusive family member (daughter) I had ever encountered. I told her, "Look, I'm on your side, I'm trying to help your father, so stop attacking me. It doesn't help."

She stormed out, complained to the charge nurse (to no avail) and I finished my shift telling her to "Stop it" each time she verbally abused me. I did not, as other nurses do when they have her, sit there and take the abuse then go in the med room and complain and cry about it.

I left that shift feeling just fine about myself and my career choice. I did everything I could to take care of her dad and told her exactly how her behavior was out of line.

I know situations are difficult, but we have to take control of and responsibility for our own feelings.

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