how to deal with a potential backstabber

Nurses General Nursing

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i am looking for advice on how to deal with a preceptor (i am an intern) who i feel is trying to throw me under the bus. i seriously think this person has borderline personality disorder. when i first starting working she was super nice and supportive and the past two months she has been trying to backstab me and looks for anything that would reflect poorly on me. for example, she gave me poor ratings on passing meds when i DONT even give meds yet and poor ratings for delegating when i DONT delegate yet either. she just has a way of making me feel dumb and yet i am one of the top students in my class and i know i am smart.

this is my problem: i have problems saying "no" and being assertive. so today this preceptor basically ordered me to give meds even though i am not allowed to. they were not IV meds but where meds nonetheless. ugh. my intuition told me not to do this. because later she told another nurse and intern that i learned how to give meds today through an ng tube. i'm thinking i should go to my charge nurse or educator and tell them what i did and come clean before she can say that i've been giving meds all along which i haven't. i feel so stupid because i do have a right to say no especially when i know not to.

i can switch preceptors but am afraid to because i feel she will try to undermine me and tell people that i gave meds. any advice is appreciated. thank you.

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CYA - As in cover your you know...

Why?

Because EVERYONE is a potential backstabber.

IMHO

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You should have spoken to your supervisor and changed preceptors a long time ago. This person is going to do what they intend to do despite what your actions are. Your hope is that a new preceptor will treat you fairly. It is obvious that your current preceptor has a problem with you. I don't see how you can learn under these circumstances. Your supervisor needs to be made aware of this.

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you are correct. i should have changed a long time ago. but we are not allowed to change until we've been with our preceptor for a semester. this semester just started so i can now change. what is the best way to talk to my supervisor about this? and what about the meds i gave? how should i mention that?

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Med-Surg..

Be sure that you keep records of all your interactions with her, date, time, anyone who was there. It sounds extreme but you have to protect yourself. I would certainly report that you are having problems to your supervisor as soon they start.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.

did this event happen today??? i would contact the charge nurse or someone now! this person has gone to someone already... just assume she has but pretend that you do not think she has and come clean. i do not understand personally how you could have someone talk you into giving meds when it is not in your scope of practice. i was a nurse extern and had a few fights with nurses who wanted me to hand them normal saline out of the med room because i am was not allowed to even touch them... or to start oxygen even though i was not allowed because that is considered medication too... i see that you wrote that you have trouble being assertive so being an intern is helpful... however, i still do not see how someone can talk you into stepping outside your scope of practice...

btw, i know how you feel. i was a tech and a nurse extern and i worked with a few nurses who just did not like me and definitely did not want to see me with the title rn. i had so little trust in them i made sure i knew my scope of practice like the back of my hand. i tried to think of my job in this way... even though i did not have a license to lose as a nurse extern or student nurse i did not want to do something at work or in clinical to prevent me from ever getting one! if that does not put fire in your belly to stand up for yourself, then being chewed out by your charge nurse (i suspect you will be chewed out), will probably help.

good luck to you.... hopefully this person is not so vindictive that she would contact the board of nursing... in my state nurse externs and interns have a scope of practice so people working under those titles can be reported for any violations. :(

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one of the most tragic things about nursing is the back stabbing eat-their-young mentality. It is RAMPANT in this female-dominated profession and saddens me so. I have gotten in fights with veteran RN's for standing up for newbies and I try to make every intern, orientee, or new grad feel as comfortable and confident AS POSSIBLE. Go to your superior and tell what happened but don't come across bitter. Yes, you should've told her no to administering meds but she is your preceptor and should've known not to ask you to give them. She could get reprimanded and she knows that. Why don't you ask her privately what the problem is? Be respectful and ask her if she remembers starting out as a new grad (we were all new once and we ALL made mistakes. EVERY ONE OF US ;)

but sounds like she is an unstable bitter jaded person who shouldn't be precepting. I know first hand they are out there, and it is the hardest thing to deal with when all you want to do is learn from her and do the best job you can do.

Stand up for yourself, you will land on your feet and be a great nurse soon.

Good luck!!

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

i'm so sorry that this happened to you. i'm sorry you felt pressured into giving meds when you shouldn't. i think i would come clean and tell you gave meds. well, i think honesty is the best policy , and it's better they hear it from you and not her. you see now she has the forbidden" med passing" hanging over your head, if she gets mad at you she can run and tell what you did ( that you gave meds that you were not allowed to give). I always tell my kids , if you do something wrong fess up right away.

i think you should spill the beans on her. tell them they way she's treated you and what you did with the meds. clear your conscience. please keep me posted on what happens. you are going to be a fine nurse , just get through this "bump" in the road. i send you hugs and prayers !!

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Specializes in General Medicine.

I would talk to your clinical instructor and ask her how to handle those cases: like giving medications with the preceptor etc... I had a great RN student today, she was so eager to learn, asking me to let her put Piggy back and draw blood... And I did, but I was there all the time and made sure she did it correctly and she was great... I gave all of the meds myself but she wanted to be there too, so I called her... Anyway, if you are not allowed to give meds, and the clinical instructor will tell you not to do it with the preceptor, let your preceptor know, but also tell her you would like to go in the room with her when she gives meds, look up some meds, etc... I believe you can delegate a little bit too: when you tell CNAs you will be taking care of the pt, call cafeteria for smth, etc you are delegating... Ask your preceptor how exactly she would like you to delegate... no need to run and report if you can still solve this problem and stay in a good relationship...

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Specializes in CV-ICU.

unfortunately, the facts are some nurses are better than others. i have seen new grads that walk circles around seasoned nurses. but good nurses, the really good ones learn from all. in the real world, we try to learn from each other. i understand that you are not particularly fond of the idea of having person x as your preceptor. unfortunately when you get to the work environment, you will find there are a few person x. team player? the person responsible for your education is you……the only person you can honestly change is you…i know my post may sound bitter but honestly. when you get to work as a nurse you will find that a lot of political play happens…bottom line is what will be your part…i don’t know you and honestly you don’t know me. o by the way every nurse class ever given has the one instructor or preceptor that few people like. why you should put up with her…what are your options. you can complain…then you become what you claim she is, a “backstabber”. you will find that in life you will not always like some of the people you work with and definitely not like some of the family you have to deal with. find some humility, speak up when you’re uncomfortable, but do it the right way. giving meds is not that hard. look it up. i know i don’t know person x and by the way i probably wouldn’t like x nether.

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Specializes in CV-ICU.

And yes the preceptor has to be at the bedside when you give the med.

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I would go to your manager, but I would not say that you feel your preceptor is trying to throw you under the bus. Instead, I would say that you would like your role/position clarified with your preceptor because there's been some confusion, and you have been asked to do things that are not in your scope. I would also say that, unfortunately you made a wrong decision and DID something outside of your scope (ie, pass meds). I would explain what you have learned from this error and how you have decided to handle this in the future, so that the supervisor sees you take repsonsibility for your own actions and have a plan to do better. DON'T assign meaning to your preceptor's motives (at least not externally, you can theorize internally and so would I). It could be you are wrong about the preceptor's motives - perhaps she's a "tough love" type person, trying to see what you will do under fire. It's still wrong if you are doing things outside your practice, but maybe she's not doing it to get you in trouble.

In other words, be diplomatic, "own" your own mistakes, and let the supervisor take the conversations and outcomes from there.

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