i am looking for advice on how to deal with a preceptor (i am an intern) who i feel is trying to throw me under the bus. i seriously think this person has borderline personality disorder. when i first starting working she was super nice and supportive and the past two months she has been trying to backstab me and looks for anything that would reflect poorly on me. for example, she gave me poor ratings on passing meds when i DONT even give meds yet and poor ratings for delegating when i DONT delegate yet either. she just has a way of making me feel dumb and yet i am one of the top students in my class and i know i am smart.
this is my problem: i have problems saying "no" and being assertive. so today this preceptor basically ordered me to give meds even though i am not allowed to. they were not IV meds but where meds nonetheless. ugh. my intuition told me not to do this. because later she told another nurse and intern that i learned how to give meds today through an ng tube. i'm thinking i should go to my charge nurse or educator and tell them what i did and come clean before she can say that i've been giving meds all along which i haven't. i feel so stupid because i do have a right to say no especially when i know not to.
i can switch preceptors but am afraid to because i feel she will try to undermine me and tell people that i gave meds. any advice is appreciated. thank you.
truthfully, i don't want to report her. in fact i just want to change preceptors without even saying how i really feel about her because there's no point in complaining about her. at the hospital i work at we are allowed to change preceptors at any point. in fact my charge nurse personally told me that i could a few months ago. the most important thing here is that i feel too uncomfortable when i am working with her and maybe it just comes down to being a poor match between her and i. at one point i told her she makes me nervous, but wasn't willing to know why. i've been told i am a great student who is eager to learn and i believe i am too. i want to enjoy going to work and my preceptor because i will be an extern for another year before i graduate.
I think it would be a good idea to get a new preceptor, just like others have suggested. I also think "coming clean" about giving meds would be a good idea, too. It shows that you are an honest person, and are willing to admit that you are not perfect, are still learning, and taking responsibilty for your actions.
If someone asks you why you gave meds, be honest. Tell them that you felt uncomfortable with it, but you were also uncomfortable with your preceptor so it was a lose/lose situation. As long as you're honest and use a little butt kissing, you should have no problems.
I'm not sure reporting her is worth it, but if you're concerned about how she may black ball you in the future, I would bring that up with the DON as well.
I have mad respect for people who are willing to stand up for themselves (even after the fact) and I think the other nurses you talk to will have the same feelings. If not, too bad for them!
Does you preceptor understand that you are not suppose to give medication? When I have had a student I ask them. What are you allowed to do. We have so many students who come through our unit, they are in various stages of their education and clinicals. If they don't tell me I have not a clue what they can and can not do. To me is sounds like this preceptor was not fully aware you are not suppose to give meds as evidenced by the fact she proudly told others you learned to give meds today.
Don't let anyone intimidate you! As a student, you are under this person's supervision and guidance. I think that you should report the "incident" as well as her behavior to your supervisor, both in school and at work (the manager). Since she has been putting pressure on you and you are in a subordinate position, I expect the fire to be much hotter for her than for you.
Since no harm resulted from your passing the meds (but if it did cause harm, it would be all the more important to report the situation) I don't expect you would be reprimanded. Just remember that she has "power" over you and as such you can justify your actions by her intimidation and her harassment towards you.
Unfortunately, this profession does seem to attract a lot of bitter, low self-esteem personalities, and border-line personality disorders aren't rare either from what I observed. Knowing that, remember to be on your guard and document a lot. Address issues as soon as possible and before someone else does it from a very different point of view (meaning, not an honest one).
Being intimidated and scared of the repercussions is what this person is likely counting on. She probably expect you to keep it shut. Don't give her that pleasure and power!
Good luck, and please stand up for yourself and all the other students that will come after you and experience her power trip at their cost.
Take a deep breath and be open and honest. You'll sleep better after that!
H-
PS: If you can have your teacher's support (or clinical supervisor) , it would be ideal, and if she/he can come with you to meet the manager, It would be even better. Try to put things in writing before hand, in a detached, matter of the fact way, so you can leave a written track and so you can refer to it while exposing the situation to your teacher and the manager of the unit.
LuvPedsNrsg
62 Posts
truthfully, i don't want to report her. in fact i just want to change preceptors without even saying how i really feel about her because there's no point in complaining about her. at the hospital i work at we are allowed to change preceptors at any point. in fact my charge nurse personally told me that i could a few months ago. the most important thing here is that i feel too uncomfortable when i am working with her and maybe it just comes down to being a poor match between her and i. at one point i told her she makes me nervous, but wasn't willing to know why. i've been told i am a great student who is eager to learn and i believe i am too. i want to enjoy going to work and my preceptor because i will be an extern for another year before i graduate.