Help I am loosing my mind

nsmith_rn · Oct 30, 2001

I think that we need to become aware and also I think that we need to fight back.

I know that going to another unit is what I am going to do but before I go

you bet that I am going to complain, write up and make those higher up then me aware of just why they have a nursing shortage on this unit.

Thanks for the support. It helps allot to know that I am not the only person that has had to dela with this.... it helps because I have gotten some good advice.....

:) :) :) :)

KelleyRn · Oct 30, 2001

nsmithrn,

Its late, can't sleep. I've been off kiltered with my schedule since I started working nights and even the days I'm off I can't sleep cause I'm thinking about work. Its funny in a way that i"m searching for others that feel the same as I do and here we are.

I too will be starting school to get a degree no where near the medical or science field. I have my ADN and then started nursing to finish my BSN. I recently dropped those classes to pursue something different. I just feel I'm not ready to finish just yet.

This is great therapy, but its sad too. I haven't been nursing long, so I can't certainly see it from a nurse whose worked for years, but I can say that the support that we have for each other is slim to none unless your in a clique of nurses. Sounds kind of like high school. I was talking to my fiance' about how the respect for being a nurse doesn't exist or that it is very hard to recieve it from MDS, RNs, PCTs, Mngrs alike. People are different, some are cut out to work the stresses of nursing, and then there are some who have the compassion, but can't deal with the stress. Personally, I love taking care of my patients and their families, but I'm not the best at dealing with high stress situations, and I work in the ED for God's sake. I'm hoping to find a less stressful job in nursing. I personally don't appreciate the nurses who bash nurses who are truthful about there jobs. Those that say "that we are not compassionate and that we don't have any business being a nurse!" They have no idea who we are!

So do what you want to do that makes you happy. You live only once. God, knows that I had to make that hard decision, but I know I'm going to be much happier from now on. Good luck, and keep in touch..KelleyRN

JennieBSN · Oct 30, 2001

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Oct 30, 2001

i for one would welcome a clique, but no one will have me. (sob)

CATHYW · Oct 30, 2001

How about managers who incite unrest among their staff? I have had that happen, and the same one played favorites, too. She picked a young female, and a young male as her favorites. These folks were always hanging out in her office, chit-chatting, while we were working. The female had more seniority than most of us (that should tell a lot about staff turnover) and the male was junior to almost everyone. I was in line for a 7a-7p job. the male and I both worked 11a-11p-killer shift. I was over 1 year senior to him. The manager kept putting off the switch due to "staffing." I went on a scheduled vacation, came back, and the tech asked what I thought about ------ getting the 7a-7p job. That is how I found out. I went to the manager to ask why I should have found out from the tech. She apologized, said that she should have told me herself. No duh! As far as giving the male the position that was mine due to seniority (the way things went around there, routinely), she said he was "better suited to it, but that she would give me the next one that came open," and she did. I didn't push it because I was used to everything there-Drs., other staff, etc., and in a way it seemed petty to leave over something like that.

Another time this manager asked what I did on my days off-I told her I enjoyed being at home (I was single), and that I spent a good bit of time at the Fire Dept. (she knew I was a volunteer FF First Responder.) She said that "some of us were talking the other day, and we think you need a social life." I thanked her for her concern (!) and ended the conversation.

When I married (2nd time) I had planned to work my day shift on a Friday, and go to Pigeon Forge, TN the next day to be married. We were planning to keep our marriage quiet for a while, because there were all kinds of things going on in our families, so i didn't mention it at work. This manager tells me that she has reassigned me to work 7P-7A that Friday night, because a personal friend of hers had agreed to work to fill staffing vacancies if he could work DAYS! So, she moved me, and gave him my regular scheduled day shift! I worked the night shift, went home, slept for 2 hrs., got up, drove for 4 hours, and got married! 3 mos later, when I posted an announcement on my locker, several nurses that I worked for wanted to give me a shower. She told me that she told them they could not do it, because I didn't tell them of the marriage when it first happened! I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, I no longer work for the woman. She is still in place, however!

VAC · Oct 30, 2001

Originally posted by canoehead
I for one would welcome a clique, but no one will have me. [CO

Let's start our own clique!

JennieBSN · Oct 30, 2001

CATHYW · Oct 30, 2001

kday, where were you, 5 years ago, when I needed you? We could've made mincemeat of this woman, working as a tag team! LOL!

Thanks for the support-this is the first time I have told that story to anyone other than my family.

Mkue · Oct 30, 2001

:)

kday,

Thanks for giving us HOPE !! At least you have given me HOPE, all is not doom and gloom. There are so many areas of nursing to go into, so one does not have to be stuck in a lion's den.

Thanks again for the encouragement !

mkue

nsmith_rn · Oct 30, 2001

I thank you all for your support and I am listening.

I think that I am goig to fight back, find another position in the hospital and make my work life the best that it can be.

I love nursing...... but ......

this is not a place that I can work forever.....

thanks for helping me keep my sanity

CATHYW · Oct 30, 2001

Atta girl! They may get you down, but not out! I am glad to hear that you have strengthened your resolve, and have decided to regroup. We nurses, by definition, have to be strong, supportive people. The fly in the ointment is, we just never manage to get around to giving ourselves what we need. I'm not saying a me first attitude is what we need, but a "me too" never hurts!

Best of luck to you, and keep that chin up! :rolleyes: :)

cargal · Oct 30, 2001

Cathy,

We must have had the same manager! I believe that this kind of behavior is rooted in feelings of low self esteem and hence, jealousy on the part of the perpetrators. The target is usually self-confident , reliable, intelligent etc. Another poster once posted this informative site on this phenomenon which is called horizontal abuse- or bullying. I will repost this site and I highly recommend it. Go to :http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/bully.htm for more information.

My one regret is that I did not confront my abusers before I quit. They robbed me of a job I loved. I wish that I had proof and legal recourse. These dregs continue to submit their control over others. That is their goal- to control or eliminate.

I feel that any manager should be trained and informed on this negative behavior. It must be one of the main reasons for staff turnover.

Good Luck , and go gettum!

Carrie