Has anyone else had this discussion with their kids?

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

Just a little background, I'm currently working as an LPN in acute care and graduate with my ADN this spring. On the unit I work on, we mostly get older folks who have been in the hospital before, who have the emotional maturity to take things in stride when things don't go exactly their way.

In clinical, I've had a couple of patients who have been lacking in that emotional maturity, and the common denominator is age (both in early 20s). These patients have been self centered and demanding, and without going into great detail I'll just say they reminded me of spoiled kids who aren't used to being told "No".

Anyway, after a particularly difficult shift with one of these "rays of sunshine", I came home and told my eighteen year old daughter that if she ever has to be hospitalized, I will disown her if she acts like that. I told her "You will be NICE to those nurses, you will say PLEASE and THANK YOU, and you will NOT act like a demanding, spoiled brat.".

Has anyone else had this kind of conversation with their young ones?

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Specializes in NICU.

The thing is though ..... those patients that you mentioned, probably didn't have parents that even cared about how their children act towards others. If they're acting like "demanding spoiled brats", then just imagine what their mothers act like and how they raised them.

Sure, there can be bad apples regardless of the parenting, but I think the parenting has a lot to do with it. So just the fact that you're telling your daughter that she better not ever act like that, that behavior is obviously something that is very appalling to you .... and therefore, I'm sure you raised her better than that!

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Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.

My children are 10-7-6 and yes I tell them that they will not be disrespectful to adults. My kids hear the word "NO" all the time so I would hope that they would not act in such a manner.

I also have had those pts in their 20's who are whiney little brats and their parents come to the hosp w/ them and baby them even more. The parents do not intervene when their 20 yr old is acting like a 2 yr old. It's "Oh this is awful are you okay honey?" Just had a 19 yr old last weekend throwing a fit because he had to get 3L IVF for BP 68/27. Throwing temper tantrums because he did not want to be there and we would not feed him and he was starving! Mom only aggrevated the situation questioning me "Oh are you sure we can't sneak some food in for him?" Yes I'm freaking sure. The kid was asking if he could go have a smoke and get some caffine. Are you flippin nutzo? W/ a BP like that you're not going anywhere. When you feel like crap eating, smoking, and caffine should be the last things on your mind. I wanted to smack both him and his mom.

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Wow. This does make me feel better because I thought I was bad hitting the call light to ask for a can of ginger ale when my mom was at home on my last admission.

It is nice to know there are people who act worse then me.

P.S. I say over the light that I need a ginger ale. Only time I use the "I need my nurse" was the time I had wet the bed due to no one coming in time after I said I needed to go to the bathroom, didn't feel like announcing to the whole world I had wet the bed.

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

I find that the younger patients are often the most demanding...I had a guy in with a 101.6 fever...and mom, wife, and sister thought they were ALL going to stay the night in that room (NM the guy had a roommate).....He was acting like he couldn't talk, couldn't bear to hold up his arm, had to get IV fluids for the fever(I kept turning on the air, leaving, come back 5 mins later to find the heat blasting....YOU HAVE A FEVER.....HEat and blankets are not good things right now....)

They wound up staying in our vistor area on 2 cots....arrrghhh then they were all over him at 3AM, questioning what we were doing....If your family is in the hospital, please trust that we know what were doing unless we give you reason to otherwise believe so....

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Specializes in ED.

i'd like to think i've been having this discussion with my children all their lives!! it is not just in the hospital setting that people need to show respect but in their educational settings, work settings, relationships, etc.

i don't know, nancynurse, i think somewhere, somehow in this country people started to confuse "respect" with "submission." i mean we all struggle with being assertive and protecting ourselves while remaining respectful, but it seems like these 20-somethings you're describing aren't even struggling - they're just plain disrespectful.

you know it's bad when a nurse comments on it because nurses give a patient a pretty wide berth for sick cranky behavior - but there is definitely a line! when my brother was 19 he had a subdural hematoma from a bad combo of beer+fight+brick wall+his head. when he came out of the anesthesia post-op in the icu he was cursing up a storm! (we never swore in front of our parents!) my mother was appalled, but the nurse was chuckling and said - oh that's a very good sign! by the next day my bro was his "normal" polite self again, albeit cranky and in pain!

here's something a kindergarten teacher said to me once that is pretty much the best guide for a reality check on my parenting:

be worthy of their imitation.

children from 1-7 are going to learn what they live.

but i am so far from perfect - and much teaching happens when my kids see or hear me screw up! i make sure they see or hear me rectify the situation by apologizing, making amends, eating crow, cleaning up my own messes etc! it is not easy but it is "simple."

the darn thing about kids is you don't have to tell them the important stuff once. you have to tell them over and over and over and over again!!

i hear parents cursing in front of their little kids, treating their kids with total dispresect, snapping at people all around them in front of their kids - and then they wonder why their kid grows up to be so nasty???!!

i don't think your daughter will be one to worry about!!!

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Specializes in floor to ICU.

I don't know, NancyNurse, I think somewhere, somehow in this country people started to confuse "respect" with "submission." I mean we all struggle with being assertive and protecting ourselves while remaining respectful, but it seems like these 20-somethings you're describing aren't even struggling - they're just plain disrespectful.

So true. Plus we live in an instant gratification society.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

I just want to clarify....I do NOT expect people in the hospital to be at their best. I expect a certain amount of whining or crankiness. Sometimes family members will apologize for the patient's rudeness, and I shrug it off, telling them, quite honestly, that I don't take it personally because the person doesn't feel well and I don't expect them to be at their best.

There's just a point, I think, where it crosses the line from being an appropriate response to the situation and becomes just plain self centered and rude.

I'm quite needy when I'm sick (you'd think I was on my deathbed when I have a simple cold), and I like to be taken care of, but there's a point.

I've just noticed that the worst offenders in this area that I have encountered so far have both been young people.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

here's something a kindergarten teacher said to me once that is pretty much the best guide for a reality check on my parenting:

be worthy of their imitation.

yes, that is how i have tried to raise my children; by setting an example. but, i admit, i'm not perfect and probably haven't always set the best example. one thing i have always tried to do is treat them like human beings worthy of respect, and expect them to do the same for me; not because i am an adult and they are children and should treat all adults with respect, but because i think we should treat all living things with respect, whether adult or child or dog or cat or parakeet.

i never wanted to instill in them the idea that children should respect all adults simply because they are adults, because i wouldn't want my kids to be afraid to say "no" to an adult that was telling them to do something unsafe or harmful or ethically questionable.

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I have had the talk with my son when he was hospitalized.

There is not a course on how to behave as a patient, and kids can use a little instruction.

Young people are not given guidance on how to behave when in hospital. So I helped guide my five year old. I told him what the nurse was going to do, what to expect and how I wanted him to behave.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.
Wow. This does make me feel better because I thought I was bad hitting the call light to ask for a can of ginger ale when my mom was at home on my last admission.

It is nice to know there are people who act worse then me.

P.S. I say over the light that I need a ginger ale. Only time I use the "I need my nurse" was the time I had wet the bed due to no one coming in time after I said I needed to go to the bathroom, didn't feel like announcing to the whole world I had wet the bed.

Oh, Meg, I'm sure from having read several of your posts that you are a kind and considerate patient.

(and thanks to NancyNurse for pointing out that she realizes people aren't at the best when they're feeling lousy)

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Specializes in ICU, CCU,Wound Care,LTC, Hospice, MDS.

This is part of the "Entitled Generation" that was the subject of many posts a few weeks back- only that one was about younger nurses!:o

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