Gotta good "poop" story? I do. - page 3

Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him... Read More

  1. by   live4today
    The funniest poop story I have is when I worked pediatrics. I walked into a ten month old patients room to see him painting the walls on the other side of his crib with his poop. The rails already had a nice coat of poop on them, so perhaps he thought the walls deserved a little attention, too. He also had enough to cover his legs, his face, his hair, his arms and hands; the cribsheet, and the blanket. His mother hadn't arrived for his am care, so one of the medics ended up giving him his bath. I wouldn't touch that crib or child with a ten foot pole UNLESS I had no one else to delegate the delicate tasks to. :chuckle
  2. by   colleen10
    to tell you my poop story and it's not about a patient, it's about me......

    One bright warm summer day when I was in high school my mother and I went down to the local Pizza Hut to have a pizza for dinner. We ate there and when we were done my mom asked if I minded stoping off at PharxMor before we went home so she could pick up a few things.

    When we got to the store I walked in with her but I immediately started to feel nauseated and told her that I was going back out to the car. She said that she would hurry up and see me at the car.

    So, I make it to the car and I'm sitting inside and I'm still very nauseated and I begin to get intestinal cramps. I felt pretty lousy but thought nothing urgent was eminent when all of a sudden I crapped myself. There was no warning and absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. Unfortunately, it was of the liquid variety. I started to panic and from behind the seat I grabbed a paper bag to sit on and then I looked in my purse and grabbed some feminine napkins and started shoving them down my shorts.

    After a minute or two my mother comes out to the car and opens up her door and takes a big step back and goes "Whoooo", obviously due to the smell. She then looks at me and realizes what has happened and just starts cracking up which made me start to crack up. The two of us just laughed and laughed for probably 5 minutes before we were calmed down enough for her to get into the car and drive home.

    Then the next step was to get from the car inside the house.

    As I started walking up the pathway to our house it began to run down my leg and into my shoes because I was wearing Keds without socks.

    It was awful. All I could do was run up to the bathroom and undress in the shower.

    I'm not trying to be gross but this may happen to each of you at least once in your life and I don't want you to be embarrased.

    I still look back at it now and laugh, how embarrasing yet how humbling!
  3. by   live4today
    Colleen, bless your heart for sharing that with us. That's a good one to tell your grandchildren one day, too!
    colleen - I know that when we're online we often use the phrase "LOL". But never, ever in my life, have I ever actually been LAUGHING OUT LOUD until now!!!!!

    It took guts to share that story! Thanks!

  5. by   rodz1
    As a young student i never understood the nursing assistants fear of Thursday mornings . I plumped up enough courage to ask why ? did the sister come round to inspect the beds ? did the director of nursing inspect the wards ? No the reason being on wednesday nights it was beef curry for the patient Teas and what go's in must come out .
  6. by   azgirl
    Doing final rounds in the dementia unit I found a perfect turd on the chair by the bed with a flashlight turned on it. Here it was sitting in the spotlight. What imagination. Sure gave me a good laugh.
  7. by   gypsigirl
    I'm in pain from ROFLMAO. I laughed so hard my son came in and read this thread and he was laughing too.

    I have a question. Don't get me wrong. I am not afraid of poop. I did my 3 kids poops, my husband died of brain cancer, for several months I took care of his poop, my grandmother had a colostomy for 27 years, whenever she was ill I took care of her poop. So I don't fear the poop to come when I am a nurse. My question is this; I understand that you clean up the pt. But aren't their custodians to clean up the floors, bathroom, walls etc?

    I was just curious.

    Love this topic.

    One more thing. Fedup and Jay, can someone really have 20lbs of poop in them?
  8. by   donmurray
    The UK "rule of thumb" is: You get the lumps, they get the stains out!
  9. by   donmurray
    I used to visit a lady with dementia who lived in an upstairs room in an old people's home. She often threw poop from her window onto the flowerbeds below. New visitors always admired the roses, and then wondered why the staff cracked up!
    One time they found a perfectly formed stool on top of this lady's wardrobe, she denied all knowledge, of course, and blamed the staff, since she was too short, and would have needed to stand on a chair to put it there!
  10. by   aimeee
    One of my first poop experiences is still one of the most memorable. Had an elderly resident with dementia in LTC. The volunteers had made decorations for all the doors out of paper plates. As we were working our way down our hall this resident came shuffling out her door, her handbag over her arm, stockings down about her ankles, and holding this paper plate, absolutely mounded with poop. Looked like a plate of brownies!
  11. by   roden58
    had a pt who would collect her poop and roll it into large balls and put in her display cabinet.

    non nursing my daughter when a toddler did a poop in a tonka dump truck in back yard because her mother refered to to doing a poop as having a dump
  12. by   bobbiesal
    I had to float to the ER on Halloween of all nites. And lucky me, I got the 350 pound, 50 yr. old woman c/o abdominal pain who hadn't had a BM in 4 days. The doc ordered an enema (of course), something we seldom did in the PICU. I dutifully admistered this, and was somehow able to get a fracture pan underneath her. She said she was done, and could finish in the bathroom, however, when I was helping her get up, she had explosive diarrhea that covered me from the knees down...into my shoes, my socks, I was absolutely squishy....
    I decided that this was some sort of test of will- not reacting by screaming, "EWWWWWWW-GROSSSSS!!!!" I got her up into a wheelchair, her husband was laughing (i was not) and helped her to the bathroom, while everyone in the hallway was whispering, "what's that smell?" I had to take off my shoes, socks, change into new scrubs, and when I asked the nursing assistant to help, he replied, "my shift doesn't start for 5 minutes." So, I left the mess for him to clean up, took my bag of stuff, had the hospital buy me new shoes, and warned the ER staff that I'd never some back if they did this to me again.

    They didn't!
  13. by   Anagray
    1. (not in the hospital) My father in law gets realyl anxious if he or someone else is really sick.
    When he was young he came home one night, had bm and noticed that it was all burgundy red. Immedicately, he decided that he had been stricken with some fatal desease.
    He ran out in the kitchen and yelled to his wife to call his best friend who was a doctor. while the wife was on the phone, my FIL passed out and hit his head on the cabinet. when the doc-friend arrived, FIL was lying in a pool of blood, with his pants down.
    Turns out, FIL ate a bunch of beets the day before. The reason why he fell, was because he became so anxious, that he hyperventilated. He ended up with a scrape on his head, but apparently everyone in the family laughs to this day about that day.

    2. My very first job in the hospital was cleaning up ptnt's rooms and bathrooms. One day I walked into the bathroom and I swear - the WHOLE bathroom was covered with greenish black stool. I even had to scrub the ceiling. It was almost as if the patient took off the pants, stood in the doggy style position, then got spinned on the centrifuge, while shooting out streams of poop.
    I tied a towel around my face, and then cleaned the bathroom.
    The next day Iw alked into the bathroom and it looked the same way again. I wanted to jump out of the window that day!
    If there is hell, i think it looks and smells like that bathroom lol

    3. My phlebotomy instructor told us a funny story today - when she worked in LTC, they had a little old lady there, who thought she was inside a grocery store. She would come to the nurses post and say " Ya'll are doin ah greeeat jaob!"
    Then she would say " comere, comere, comere for a second, sweetie" She would take a nurse in a corner and then poop herself there.