Father of a nursing student needs advice

roser13, ASN, RN · Mar 24, 2014

"My advice is to back off and let her enjoy at least one summer of her own time, especially if she took summer classes. Maybe encourage her to look into getting a job as a student nurse at a summer camp while she prepares for NCLEX. While it is nice that you want her to get a job asap, I would let her take a little bit of time. It is hard for new grads however I think Ohio State has enough sway to influence hospitals to at least interview her since their program is super tough. The last thing you want is for her to suffer a bad burnout and hate whatever job she takes.

While the fear of old new grad status is very real, I would be very scared of her burning out and hating the field too. Also, she will probably have at least 1 month before she can take the NCLEX and get her license. I'm in Ohio and it took me a month and two weeks to be able to test. However, I had already secured a job and instead spent that time working my butt off at my ER before I switched to the ICU. I did take a mini vacation up to Michigan though and I enjoyed seeing the sights around there.

If you could afford it, could you afford to send her on a brief mini-vacation after graduation? Like maybe her and 1 friend? Or give her money for a brief vacation as a graduation present? I'd think about it and let her know asap since sometimes you have to request time off months in advance with hospitals (we already have May's schedule out)."

Jim, one of the benefits of AN.com is that all of us give our best opinions, no holds barred.

My POV:

Did YOU take a year off between college & working because your parents felt that you might be burnt-out?

Do most folks have to earn their own keep as soon as they're able?

Is it character-building to be self-supporting as soon as you're able?

The fact is that your daughter is extremely fortunate to have such a supportive father. In fact, you might be surprised at how many of her peers will graduate (unlike her) with mountains of student loan debt. Ask her. You have already done SO much for your daughter - pamper her much more and you might be well on your way to creating a monster.

Please do not take the joy of self-sufficiency away from her. Allow her to experience the empowerment of success in her chosen field. EVERYONE feels exhausted after completing a degree! It's totally normal!

Let your daughter earn and pay for her own vacation! It's the best parenting decision you'll ever make. And it will be the best vacation your daughter will ever take. One that SHE earned, all by herself.

Guests · Mar 25, 2014

She will be graduating in May 2014 with a BSN from Ohio State. She will be 22 when she graduates... She works part time at Ohio State's hospital... My parental brain is now saying it is time to apply to jobs and apply for a residency and see if you can get it. I have talked to her and I feel like she is burned out from 17 straight years of schooling and may need a break.

OK, Jim, just offering up my opinion but now is NOT the time for a break... not even close.

Your young lady really needs to be busting her butt to find her first job because she's in a terribly competitive field filled with thousands of smart, diligent kids just like herself with whom she's competing for a limited number of good jobs.

Truly, the tone of her entire career could be determined by the next year and what she's able to secure for herself. Even a six-month hiatus could render her unable to find a quality job when competing with a new batch of new grad nurses... and that first job can open up doors to the future... or slam them shut.

Hooking up with a large, university health system will spread before her a dizzying array of options over the next 10 years. Getting "stuck" in LTC or a small, rural hospital may wipe most of those options away.

I speak from firsthand experience, both in nursing and in my original career.

She needs to on the accelerator, not the clutch...

~~~

The best time to take a break is between her first and second jobs or with a leave-of-absence/sabbatical 3-5 years down the road.

Guests · Mar 25, 2014

Even with a sparkly new license, she's a nurse in name only... these next couple of years are when she will become an actual nurse; that is, an independent practitioner of the art.

Until she reaches that point, her efforts need to be directed toward that or it really is at risk.

kool-aide, RN · Mar 25, 2014

I'm about to graduate nursing school in May, as well, and I wouldn't dream of taking time off. I believe employers would be curious to this gap of unemployment on my resume and might view me as less than the hard worker that I am.

Lev, MSN, RN, NP · Mar 25, 2014

You sound like a wonderful and supportive father. Your daughter is lucky to have you.

The most important question is: What does your daughter want to do?

I, too, graduated from nursing school young. I had a job before I graduated on the unit I worked as a tech, scheduled NCLEX as soon as I could after graduation, and started a new grad program the following month. Best decision I made!

Personal recommendations based on my own experiences:

1) Start looking for jobs now, especially hospitals with new grad residency programs and large university teaching hospitals. If your daughter is happy with her current position, the first place to start looking is on her unit, then branch out to her hospital, and finally to her hospital system/family.

2) NCLEX/boards as close as possible to graduation while everything is fresh on her mind and she is still in study mode.

3) Start working ASAP. You do not want to wait. The market is very tough right now. She needs to get into a residency program ASAP. Your daughter needs to look at her current hospital and even if she is not 100% that she wants to work there it can be a backup plan. Residency programs usually have set dates, so she may get a couple weeks off before starting the job. I wanted to take a vacation as a graduation present. It took me 1 year to take that vacation when I switched departments at my current hospital. She will get time off. But the time is not now, when she is establishing her career.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Mar 25, 2014

Your parental support and concern is something many of us never experienced.

My father paid for my education, I succeeded. I quickly realized .. nursing sucks.

My poppa said... "you're not liking this doll.... do something else.

So wish I would have listened to him, please accept my friend request,

charli_appleRN · Mar 25, 2014

I'm in Ohio and the job market is pretty good in my area.....especially for those who have a BSN. I was scheduled for my first interview less than 10 days after getting my license. I think she'll be just fine whether she takes time off or not.

K+MgSO4, BSN · Mar 25, 2014

Your daughter is a grown up. She will be responsible for patients lives. She needs to start by taking control of her own. If she decides to take a break then it is her error to fix. You need to let go she is an adult.

I left home to go to uni at 17, graduated at 21 worked full time emigrated at 23 to the other side of the world. When I went home recently my dad and I got into the whiskey and were chatting. He said letting me go was the hardest thing that he ever did but that it was for the best as I turned into a resilient independent woman with goals in life. He said if he had done what was easier for him I would not of turned out how I did............

SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS · Mar 25, 2014

If there is a new grad residency available to her, she needs to take advantage of that opportunity, just as she took advantage of the opportunities you have given her thus far (I don't mean to imply that is a bad thing! It sounds wonderful!). However, many people take a vacation after finishing school. Two weeks, get refreshed, relax, get rejuvenated.

trishmsn · Mar 25, 2014

If there is a new grad residency available to her, she needs to take advantage of that opportunity, just as she took advantage of the opportunities you have given her thus far (I don't mean to imply that is a bad thing! It sounds wonderful!). However, many people take a vacation after finishing school. Two weeks, get refreshed, relax, get rejuvenated.

I agree that a couple of weeks on the beach to recharge is great....and then she needs to be job hunting and studying HARD for her boards. I would be upfront, tell her that you spring for a week somewhere to celebrate, after which she needs to get it into gear. I, too, have adult children (in their thirties) and one of them had to be nudged out of the nest.....but survived and grew. I know I am an "old f@rt", but at 22 I was a college graduate, Army officer responsible for 32 lives and 4 million dollars of equipment, married, and newly pregnant. I am sure your gal will do great....but as everyone else has said, she is a grown up and it is time to earn her OWN keep!

sarathchandra · Mar 25, 2014

you the lucky father of nursing student. your daughter will earn merits than money.Nursing can fulfill the satisfaction of life.it is great service than a job. congratulations you and your daughter . -Nursing tutor-Sri Lanka.

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN · Mar 25, 2014

I graduated during a time of nursing surplus. I sent out letters and resumes to every hospital in my area. I was granted an interview about six weeks before graduation, and I had a job offer in hand before many of my classmates even started looking. A year after we graduated, several of them were still piecing together part-time and per diem jobs just to make it, while I had full-time employment. It would not have happened had I not taken the initiative.