The rules in our unit speak specifically to the "code" being given out to ONE family member (unless the admitting RN or charge, etc is given a very valid reason as to why more than one family member needs the code) for the simple fact that the RN who is taking care of your sick ICU family member needs to be concentrating on just that, taking care of the person in the bed. NOT giving out information to any/all family members, friends, church friends, etc etc.
Anyone who answers the phone in our unit knows that we have a list that is kept that has every patient's name and contact person on it, next to the code and each shift the RN taking care of the patient updates the condition of the patient by circling the Fair, Stabel, etc. This sheet is updated every shift. If someone other than the contact person calls in with the code, we refer them to the person listed as the contact person. If they complain about this fact, we first remind them of the above (the nurse needs to be available to do patient care, etc., not that they don't want to speak to you, it's that she/he is busy caring for your Mom, etc.) and give them the overall condition of the patient. Good, Stable, Fair, Poor, Death, etc.
If that information doesn't satisfy them, then we let the RN who is taking care of the patient handle the call.
It works for us, most of the time.