Disgusting Behavior of Nurses

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I am just flabbergasted. My best friend, who is manic depressive is an excellent, organized nurse who really puts a positive foot in her work. Since her last manic episode, she has really been diligent in taking her meds. A downfall of the medication is that her hair has broken off and she gained weight. Because of that, she decided to cut her hair very short and wear it natural (she is African American). Sometimes, it is a short afro, other times, small twists.

Well, this morning, in front of at least 10 other witnesses, a head nurse walked up to her and said that her hair is horrible, she looks disheveled and also looks homeless. She also said that 'everyone is talking about it' and it appears that she is decomposing 'before their very eyes'. My friend was horrified, to say the least. She called me on my cell phone as I was on my way to work and told me this. This is the first day of her vacation and this is how it is supposed to start??

First off, did this woman even think...my friend was very meticulous in how she wore her hair in the past...now that it had broken off, and she has to pay cash for her medication to keep her stable, she decided that it was not worth spending money on the chemicals-it was wiser to take her medications as prescribed. Can that make her happy? But, she accepted it and make accomodations for her new hair.

All I can say is if I were present to witness such behavior, especially after knowing what my friend went through, I would have probably been the one suspended by the time I put that witch in her place. See, this is why nursing is going down. We can't even respect or show empathy for each other. It is all about embarassment, harassment, competition and insults. What has this line of work come to where our so-called leaders can get away with this?

My friend reported this to the Director of Nursing. Thank goodness, before she became a nurse, she was the DON's private secretary and she adores my friend. She told her that she WILL speak to that fool before the end of the day. Also, you never know who you are speaking to. This sorry head nurse doesn't even know that the DON and my friend are so close that she has been invited to spend the weekend with the DON many times over the years, with her children and the DON has also paid my friend's tuition for her daughter to attend private school. My friend, however, is not a name dropper, nor does she exploit her relationship with this woman. Oh, I am so angry...

Specializes in Cardiac Care.

I think what the had nurse did to your friend was not only incredibly insensitive, it was mean spirited and deliberate. I'm glad your friend said something to the DON.

Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

Women could be very caty...yuck! Special women who belive that are better than others, jeez... Poor her... I could not realize if was or not a racial comment, but was for sure a rude one, may be the bad one didn't like her, I saw a lot of these attitude ... is very hard for me to understand WHY she behaved like that, if you can't support or heal someone don't make her life harder than it is... Hug your friend for me and if one day she will wants a good hairdresser PM me, I will pay for her to my own hairdresser ok?

And send to heal the bad one!

I am just flabbergasted. My best friend, who is manic depressive is an excellent, organized nurse who really puts a positive foot in her work. Since her last manic episode, she has really been diligent in taking her meds. A downfall of the medication is that her hair has broken off and she gained weight. Because of that, she decided to cut her hair very short and wear it natural (she is African American). Sometimes, it is a short afro, other times, small twists.

Well, this morning, in front of at least 10 other witnesses, a head nurse walked up to her and said that her hair is horrible, she looks disheveled and also looks homeless. She also said that 'everyone is talking about it' and it appears that she is decomposing 'before their very eyes'. My friend was horrified, to say the least. She called me on my cell phone as I was on my way to work and told me this. This is the first day of her vacation and this is how it is supposed to start??

First off, did this woman even think...my friend was very meticulous in how she wore her hair in the past...now that it had broken off, and she has to pay cash for her medication to keep her stable, she decided that it was not worth spending money on the chemicals-it was wiser to take her medications as prescribed. Can that make her happy? But, she accepted it and make accomodations for her new hair.

All I can say is if I were present to witness such behavior, especially after knowing what my friend went through, I would have probably been the one suspended by the time I put that witch in her place. See, this is why nursing is going down. We can't even respect or show empathy for each other. It is all about embarassment, harassment, competition and insults. What has this line of work come to where our so-called leaders can get away with this?

My friend reported this to the Director of Nursing. Thank goodness, before she became a nurse, she was the DON's private secretary and she adores my friend. She told her that she WILL speak to that fool before the end of the day. Also, you never know who you are speaking to. This sorry head nurse doesn't even know that the DON and my friend are so close that she has been invited to spend the weekend with the DON many times over the years, with her children and the DON has also paid my friend's tuition for her daughter to attend private school. My friend, however, is not a name dropper, nor does she exploit her relationship with this woman. Oh, I am so angry...

Sorry about your friend and hope all is well or soon will be. Seldom is justice able to be served but it sounds like the DON and her being friends is reason to hope.

Be careful who you take up for. I have done it and it was not appreciated. The one I took up for changed her tune and left me looking idiotic.

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

LOL, my friend doesn't need a hairdresser...she is fine, but thanks, Zuzi, anyhow. She either wears a short afro or little twists (neatly done). The issue was that this head nurse felt like embarassing her, and also brought out the 'mental illness card' because my friend has a history of manic episodes. That was wrong. And, with the purple hair, nurses out of uniform and seeing some with ratty wigs tipped to the side, she would have had plenty to do before she tried to humiliate my friend.

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Sorry about your friend and hope all is well or soon will be. Seldom is justice able to be served but it sounds like the DON and her being friends is reason to hope.

Be careful who you take up for. I have done it and it was not appreciated. The one I took up for changed her tune and left me looking idiotic.

I have witnessed that as well, people taking up the cause for another and having egg on their faces. It is not nice. I believe I would have reacted, however because of the insensitivity of the matter, no matter who it was, because deep down, I would not wish to be singled out that way. I usually have a tendency to shut people down EARLY when the cattiness starts; but I know what it can do to others and it just isn't fair. Thanks for your suggestion, it is something we must consider. Sometimes, we can't always act out on emotion for others as much as we want to.

Careful...just because someone tells you that you look like a trainwreck doesn't mean that it was racially motivated.

To me, to make that kind of assumption, is racist in and of itself.

That is the trouble with America...if someone of the same race makes a negative remark to you...then they are just being rude...if they are not of the same race, people assume they are being racist.

Granted, the woman's comments were completely uncalled for. Some women of color that have ethnic hair do have to spend substantial amounts of money to maintain it and because of the natural dryness of some of the hair...the wrong products, treatment or medications can cause it to snap right off.

I have a friend, who is white, that has lost a ton of hair due to a medication that she is on, and it is devastating to her self-esteem.

But I think we all need to be careful before we slap a racism sticker on it.

Good point. But I didn't see race mentioned by the one you were quoting other than to say she wore a natural 'fro.

Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.
NEVER implied it was racist or racially motivated and wasn't even thinking it. My point was that if I wore my hair that short, I'd look like a ragamuffin because I'd look as though I had none. If I could wear my hair like Halle Berry's used to be, I would.

.

Sure you did....because you said that the person who made the rude comment was setting themselves up for a lawsuit.

Giving an opinion on someone's personal appearance, doesn't warrant a lawsuit, because it's an opinion...no matter how rude it may be.

If it is racially movitated...it absolutely does.

If you were not implying that there was a possible racism factor to the woman's comment, then you would have made no mention that she was "setting herself up for a lawsuit".

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Again, let me reiterate, all of the nurses involved were Black. It was not racially motivated...evil and spiteful, yes, but not racially motivated. It does, however, show a bit of bullying in the workplace in my opinion.

Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.
Again, let me reiterate, all of the nurses involved were Black. It was not racially motivated...evil and spiteful, yes, but not racially motivated. It does, however, show a bit of bullying in the workplace in my opinion.

The original post didn't make mention that all of the involved nurses were Black.

I agree with you completely that it is bullying.

I would never walk up to anyone I worked with and tell them they looked like they were homeless...I might ask them if they feel ok...or that they look tired, to see if there was something I could do to help them on their shift.

It has to do with a comment that should have been made (if at all) in private not in front of 10 or 20 other people.

hmmm I witnessed a very similar incident...during our preceptorship one of my african american female nursing students had a complain about her hair that she looked unkept and unhygienic...she was hurt by those comments but she took the criticism to her heart and ever since she always had her hair done and looked really cute.Sometimes what we think is meant to hurt us turns out to be a motivating factor.

harassment is harassment no matter your color, size or culture. i believe that airing someones health issues (such as manic depression) is lawsuit worthy, if the facility does not nip it in the butt now. everyone has the right to work in an environment free of this behavior- whether it is an opinion or not. slander is no joke - regardless of the excuse and it sounds to me like that is the category it falls into.

let your friend know she has a lot of support from us!!! i hope she didn't take the comments to heart, but then again it is hard not to.

it is hard enough being on a prescription that makes you gain weight and having to do without luxury for the sake of well being... having your flaws rubbed in your face is just a plain slap to the self-esteem, and i would imagine makes you want to second guess your choice of health over fashion. and i would think that the nurse would have recognized that before speaking that way to her. what happened to valuing good health over appearances?

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