baby sleeping in same bed as parents

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Someone who is related to me has a new baby. They mentioned by the way the baby has slept in their bed with them every night for his 8 week old life. I am worried they will accidently crush the baby, not mention a host of other issues. They basically told me this is what they want to do. I need help- what do my friends at All Nurses say?? Does this fall in the category of parental decisions and butt out?

Thanks in advance

Margaret

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

I too have run several calls as a pre-hospital provider as well as provided care to other infants who's parents rolled over on them.

That said, I did breastfeed both my sons, but never left them in bed to sleep with me. My point was that Mom and Dad's bed was their bed and the child had his own bed.

However, I do think parents need to make decisions for what works for them. Its just not my thing.

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Calla, in your child's instance obviously it was the best thing and I am not trying to say that there are not instances that have special circumstances.

What I am saying is that co-sleeping has been proven to increase an infants risk of dying from SIDS dramatically, as well as puts the baby at other risks. Had I had this information when my kids were little I certainly would have adhered to it barring any circumstances like you mention.

I know recommendations change all the time- like back to sleep, etc. When my oldest twins were newborns, it was sleep on the belly and by the time my youngest was born it was back to sleep. I followed it until one late night when my youngest almost choked to death and stopped breathing. From that day on she slept on her side. I don't give a hoot what the docs said but I knew there was no way I would ever sleep or take my eyes off her if she was on her back!

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The studies about co-sleeping and SIDS are flawed . . . See link below:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

I slept with all 4 of my children and it was a great asset for breastfeeding. As soon as they would begin to wake and whimper, in went the breast and they fed and fell back to sleep.

If you follow the safe co-sleeping rules, you can do it safely. I always send these rules home with new parents. It is very important, because people are going to co-sleep and if they follow the safety rules, they should be fine.

I'm not saying however that everyone needs to do this. We each should feel free to choose the way the works for us. But to say that all the evidence is against co-sleeping is just not good information to be giving people.

My 5 year old is still in bed with us most nights although he does sleep in his own bed down the hall a couple of times a week. My husband and I love it.

Please, at least send your family the co-sleeping rules (at the bottom of the article).

Good luck - giving advice to family can be tricky. ;)

steph

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I always put my baby on her side, never on her back unless I was awake with her. I was instructed to put her on her back also, but I noticed the OB staff put the babies on their sides alot, so I figured that was okay.

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I always put my baby on her side, never on her back unless I was awake with her. I was instructed to put her on her back also, but I noticed the OB staff put the babies on their sides alot, so I figured that was okay.

Tazzi - that is true . . . I am afraid of them aspirating because alot of new babies spit up frequently. I lay them on their sides.

I've been trying to edit my comments above to add the following but for some reason I can't so I posted it below - I like this attitude . . and this is why I always give out safe co-sleeping rules"

"The answer is not to tell parents they shouldn't sleep with their baby, but rather to educate them on how to sleep with their infants safely."

steph

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i have three children and they all have slept with me!!! and i would not change it and neither would my husband. my sis-in-law though thinks it is a bad idea.

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StevieLynn- Awesome and very informative article! I stand corrected and agree completely with the article!

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When I was pregnant I always said I would never sleep with my baby. I put her crib right next to my bed. But it was a completely different story after she was born. I had a little bassinet that I got from the hospital and I put it in my bed against the wall. I would sleep right next to it. I am such a light sleeper and I was sooo paranoid about SIDS. I would wake up every so many hours and make sure she was still breathing lol. I was too scared to even put her in the crib right next to my bed. There was a night or two when she would fall asleep in my arms in the bed, but I would wake up and put her back in the bassinet. We slept like that until she was too big for it, about 5 months. Then she slept in the crib in the room with me until she was 7 months and then she went to her room. I don't drink alcohol and like I said I am a light sleeper. I think cosleeping can be dangerous in certain situations, and people who do it should be cautious.

About the side sleeping and back sleeping thing, my nurse specifically told me not to put my dd on her side b/c she would roll on her tummy. However, my mother (who was an lpn back in the day) said that she was always told to put babies on their tummy so they wouldn't choke on their vomit. I chose to put dd to sleep on her back. There are so many studies to dispute every aspect of these debates. On baby message boards, threads like this can get really long with heated discussion and debate. I say as long as you put your child first and try your best to keep them out of harms way then so be it. Everyone has their own methods and opinions for raising their children and it is a very personal and touchy subject.

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StevieLynn- Awesome and very informative article! I stand corrected and agree completely with the article!

Well, whatever someone's viewpoint I still say that people need the safe way to co-sleep so I just always make sure that I tell them.

I NEVER say that you MUST sleep with your baby.

Thanks for reading it - I appreciate your patience and kindness in doing so.

steph

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Specializes in Tele, Infectious Disease, OHN.

Thanks so much for the replies! It is indeed touchy and even though it has been 21 years since I was a brand new parent I cannot imagine that all the grandmas, etc. were happy with all of my child rearing decisions, but no one ever called me out on it. I just want to do the right thing for the baby and the parents. Thanks to my ANF! (All Nurses Friends)

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When I was pregnant I always said I would never sleep with my baby. I put her crib right next to my bed. But it was a completely different story after she was born. I had a little bassinet that I got from the hospital and I put it in my bed against the wall. I would sleep right next to it. I am such a light sleeper and I was sooo paranoid about SIDS. I would wake up every so many hours and make sure she was still breathing lol. I was too scared to even put her in the crib right next to my bed. There was a night or two when she would fall asleep in my arms in the bed, but I would wake up and put her back in the bassinet. We slept like that until she was too big for it, about 5 months. Then she slept in the crib in the room with me until she was 7 months and then she went to her room. I don't drink alcohol and like I said I am a light sleeper. I think cosleeping can be dangerous in certain situations, and people who do it should be cautious.

About the side sleeping and back sleeping thing, my nurse specifically told me not to put my dd on her side b/c she would roll on her tummy. However, my mother (who was an lpn back in the day) said that she was always told to put babies on their tummy so they wouldn't choke on their vomit. I chose to put dd to sleep on her back. There are so many studies to dispute every aspect of these debates. On baby message boards, threads like this can get really long with heated discussion and debate. I say as long as you put your child first and try your best to keep them out of harms way then so be it. Everyone has their own methods and opinions for raising their children and it is a very personal and touchy subject.

See, that is a good attitude to have. Thank you.

As to babies on their sides, we prop them with rolled up baby blankets so they can't roll over on their tummies. Or backs. And we don't do this all the time - most of the time they are on their backs. But if I have a spitter-upper . . .on the side he/she goes.

steph

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You are welcome! What got me was the part about educating the parents- that is sooo very important these days. Then I remembered what someone said once about statistics- you can make them go so many ways depending on how you measure them.

For instance, in our nursing lectures, for every single disease, disorder, etc. there is always one slide that begins " is the leading cause of death......." (world, among whites, among teens, etc!). Gets to be a joke after a while.

Take care!

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