another jolly assignment - page 4

pt 1 postop-wants a private room so i can be his private nurse so we can do private things. he tells me hes rich as though thats going to persuade me. i have one hell of a time getting out of his... Read More

  1. by   thisnurse
    and you know even if they did read this, they would never realize it was
  2. by   SavageWist
    at least you survived and able to share your evening with the rest of us. i am an agency nurse working in LTC but i am assigned the same facility 40 hours a week so i am treated as one of them. this facility i work in has (on my floor alone) 4 love birds, 12 finches, 1 rabbit, fish tank, and 3 cats. so at the closing of report today i am to follow one of the cats around to collect a stool send to the vet. lol
  3. by   Genista
    I haven't laughed so hard as I did on this thread! ;-0
    The posts are so classic and we ALL could identify. In a way, it is comforting to know you all have the same types of patients as I seem to get "lucky" with on my floor.

    A couple of ones that stand out in my mind:1) the family member who wouldn't leave me alone & thought her loved one was my only patient; (calls me stat into room b/c water pitcher is empty, etc)...she even followed me into another pt's room to the second bed (by the window) while I was doing wound care (I had a LONG talk with her about the inappropriateness of that!); 2) Naked & confused elderly female pt dashing out of room into hallway on dayshift (very nice lady, asking where her brother is); 3) Restrained etoh w/d pts asking me for "a pair of scissors or a knife" (LOL, had that request several times) 4) post op elderly male pt, confused & thinking he is in hotel, asking me if I would like a ceasar salad, then proceeds to inquire if "she" (gestering to empty room) would like one also, and then places his order to imaginary waiter, 5) Confused 200 pound male 54 yr old year old etoh'er w/ Cdiff, incontinent of stool, jumped over bedrailsx4 and dancing in BM at foot of bed, in plain view of nurses station with curtain to his room wide open (I ran in there in a jiffy). 6) Last but not least, seemingly AOx3 elderly med/surg female pt (I forget her dx, but no apparent pysch hx) suddenly confide in me on pm shift that she "knows what we girls do and it's wrong." After long discussion, discover that she thinks I am a prostitute in a brothel. Multiple attempts to reorient unsuccessful, as she tries to show me compassion, pats me on the arm, and lectures me on how I should get out of "my profession." ;-)

    Love the stories! Where else but nursing? ;-)
  4. by   teeituptom
    Last weekend in the Er, I recieved a phone call from 911 dispatch asking for me the charge nurse, "hey Tom,there is a lady named so and so in the hospital somewhere who called us 3 times in a row now wanting us to bring her, her pain medication. I get so and sos name from dispatch, look her up in the computer, yes she is a patient. She is up on the 7th floor. I ask for their charge nurse. And say Hello this is Tom from the ER, listen the 911 dispatch operator is complaining that Mrs so and so is calling to get her , her pain medication. Please be nice to the 911 dispatcher, and put a block on her phone or give her some drugs that she wants.
    Have a good day
  5. by   capgirl
    Thank you all for the belly laughs today. Sometimes I think it is only me that has shifts like these!!!
  6. by   Jenny P
    I shall never forget the etoh fella in DT's who got out of his 4 point restraints (this is back in the '60's), and managed to jump out of the 3rd floor window and land on the roof of the E.R. THAT was a fun night!

    Or how about the GI bleed who was projectile from both ends; and the door to the room was at the foot of his bed? That same shift I had a real cutie LOL who needed to get up on the commode; and another nurse was helping me-- the only formed stool I saw that day landed on my co-workers' brand new shoe while we were transferring the pt. to the commode. I laughed so hard I did cry!

    I hate it when I get to work and someone says "I asked for you to take my patient"-- they are either desperately sick; totally confused; or both!

    It sounds like we've all been there a few times too often!
  7. by   radnurse2001
    I have a few memorable experiences for my days as a floor nurse on a telemety unit---

    1) Lady who barricated herself in her room with a chair up against the door. When we finally got in, found her hiding behind another chair. Asked her what she was doing, she stated in a oriented voice---I don't know. We think possibly sleep walking

    2) Procanimide induced psychosis 40 year old man...need I say anymore.

    3) bilateral amputee trying to escape with out a wheel chair, and by God, he was fast on his hands. He also climbed up on a shelf, and we found him there. Has been scince been named the "trinket"

    4) the post carotid surgery patient--alert and oriented, on the call bell all night for the bedpan, never goes, then crapps the bed in the morning without ringing the call bell---still alert and oriented, stated she had to wait too long so now we have a mess to clean up

    5) Etoh induced cardiomyopathy on a fluid restriction, 45 years old, drinking from the toilet. Also had scrotal edema, begged for pain medicine. The illustrious physician ordered him belladonna and opium suppository( Patient constatly complaining about the foley....must be bladder spams...not seeking behaviour) When suppository given, patient moaned...yes moaned. One of the most sickening experiences of my life. all water to room had to be shut off. he affectionately became known as the "dog".

    I don't miss this!!!!!

  8. by   jdsalina
    Hi all, I'm new here. I've read posts several times but just registered to post because this post was so funny, and I just had to put in my two cents. (I'm a new LPN, just found out I passed my boards Yesterday We just had a little old man who was confused somewhat. Our new supervisor opened the door of her office to find a naked man standing there with urine flowing everywhere, he had CHEWED his catherter in half. We got a blanket across him, and got him back to bed. The next day I caught him just as he was sneaking out of his room, naked again and blood dripping everywhere, he had pulled out that cath with the balloon still inflated. (he did get better and went home)
  9. by   shannonRN
    this is a great thread. makes me realize my floor isn't the only looney bin! a while ago i had a patient's daughter ask me to not bring in a urinal for the patient. she had wanted him to be incontinent?! of course i had asked why. she replied that if we are lucky enough to have him go in the urinal, that he forgets that it is pee and drink from it! i toileted him q 2 and thankfully he didn't drink any urine cocktails or have incontinent episodes on my shift.
  10. by   frann
    We had the "devil" a few months ago. Claimed he was the devil. real doctor admitted him to a medical telemetry floor.
    Tried to kill/hurt family members with hammer. Didn't hurt anyone. They didn't press charges, so he couldn't go to jail. So where does he come? Why in h*ll didn't he go to the psyc ward. so of course we have to scronge up 1:1 sitter for the devil.
  11. by   CindyJRN
    May I add the patient's son who was sitting in the room pants down, letting it all hang out no attempts to cover himself when I knocked on the door and came in...I turned heel and told him I'd come back in a few minutes when he wasn't busy. (Well what was I going to say, I certainly wasn't impressed) Anyway, went back and tried for over an hour to explain to him Mom need a Central Line and a transfusion, Mom is aphasic and Dementia.
    A while later we got Mom up in the chair for therapies, son proceeds to kiss her GoodBye, but he was KISSING her. Multiple times. You know KISSING her....
  12. by   NurseDennie
    The patient whose MUM kept taking his condom cath off.... The patient we found in the shower with his sister in law she was "helping" him - they were both naked... The A&OX3 who SPAT all over the place - floor, walls, bed, nurses, housekeepers when they were emptying the trash. He Would Not stop - we covered the room and our uniforms with chux.

    I've had some visitors like the son you mention. I don't act the unflappable nurse when I see something like that. I get angry and the visitor knows it. This is inappropriate and will NOT happen in my patient's room. If the visitor can't keep within the bounds of society, then I'll call security for help. He needs to be somebody's patient, but he's not MINE.


  13. by   Paprikat
    Ahhh, I have a few...
    1) Mr. Adolf Hitler, yes, that's who he thought he was, who kicked the nurses station door in, wanting to kill me because I was the enemy. Why I was, I have no idea.
    2) The little old lady who "finger painted" (smeared poop all over walls) and "cotton picked" (picked her brief to nothing and left little pieces of it all over.
    3) The lady who thinks she is on a cruise ship!

    The saddest thing I ever heard, though, was I was a patient in the ER and next to me was a dysfunctional family. The patient said, "I think I am going to throw up" and the mother replied, "Oh, just do it on the floor, the nurse will clean it up, that's what she's there for!!!!" I was so angry!