Nurses are usually first to diminish their own contributions and quickly dismiss any outside accolades from those not in the business of healthcare. "Isn't it hard? Nurses are angels. My father had wonderful nurses when he died. I can't imagine how you do it every day." Comments like this bring the focus to us as individuals, making us inherently aware and uncomfortable with reality of the heavy weight our daily role carries. It is usually met with a brisk hand flail and quickened breath - attempting to get onto any other topic. "Oh, thanks. I love my job, it can be hard some days but it's just something you do". This doesn't even come close to representing the struggles nurses endure every single shift. Our humble nature prevents us from accepting any adoration for our professional work and honestly, it's probably because that would cause us to reflect inward on what our work really costs us on a personal level. I have been a registered nurse in oncology, both pediatric & adult, for over 10 years. Yes, I really love what I do. Really. It was only recently, after taking a class on incivility, I realized the true magnitude of personal sacrifices I had made for my beloved profession. Let's start with night shift, shall we? We all know working night shift in any profession can have damaging physical effects; turning your internal clock upside down, shaking it loose for parts and dumping out all of your circadian rhythms along with it. What most nurses don't talk about is things like not being able to have dinner with their families, not being able to sleep next to their spouse, having little patience and nothing left over to give when we finally do come home. Like many, I was told I had to "pay my dues" and work the night shift. So I did - for three years. I remember crying in the staff bathroom at around 12:10 am on New Year's Eve. All of the voicemails from friends and family who were out celebrating made my heart heavy. I needed to collect myself quickly - the call bell rang for me. I saw my elderly patient, alone - a widower, with colorectal cancer, post bowel resection. I focused on the task at hand and shoved my own feelings down as deep as they would go. Moments like these are exactly what we need to start looking at - why do we not allow ourselves to feel badly about missing out on important life events? Most of us couldn't even begin to count all of the weekends, nights, and holidays worked. Most of us don't even really think of it. But, you probably remember the last important thing you had to miss - a child's practice, a friend's birthday, a spouse's corporate event - and it does weigh on us. I even let my schedule dictate where my career would bring me. Going back to school? Need a day shift. Want more time to travel? Need 12 hours. Want get to know your family again? Outpatient clinic, work less holidays. I've seen nurses adjust their own insulin pumps because they don't have time to eat properly while working. I've known nurses who have gotten kidney stones because they don't have time to hydrate, never mind urinate. I have been unable to take my own medication on time during busy shifts. I've gone full shifts without a break. We have all felt utterly exhausted, seriously hypoglycemic and totally emotionally drained - sometimes multiple times per week. This profession is incredibly rewarding but do we know when to draw the line? Would we ever know when to tap out? I'm not so sure. Nurses are bred tough, maybe too tough for our own good. With all this in mind, let us take a moment to fully acknowledge the sacrifices we have made and continue to make every day. Remember to be kind to your fellow nurse. We absolutely must take care of each other. Please, take a mental health day when needed. Your family and your patients will all be happier! Be proud of all you do. It's certainly not an easy job - some days may be totally thankless and bring on tears of frustration or self doubt. But, receiving that tearful 'thank you' from a deeply grateful patient, parent, or spouse can make it all worthwhile. I guess I'm still a sucker for this gig after all.