One night in the icu, I needed help to turn a patient who was on a vent, and sedated with a versed drip. I had asked a nurse to come into the room, and she followed. We went to both sides of the patient and proceeded to grab the lift sheet when she said........"Wait just a minute, I have to FART!". She then proceeded to back up from the bed, turn around, lift up a leg, and farted as loud as can be. She then returned to the bed grinning to herself and helped me lift the patient.
I couldn't wait to get out of the room. I about died laughing inside. I couldn't wait to "put on a play" for the nurses in the nurses break room and replay that moment for them. They were laughing so hard. We still laugh to this day!
When I was in nursing school, my fellow students included men and women. One of the guys was about 6'4, 290. We were paired off in clinicals the first few weeks we were "out there", and naturally he was assigned to work with the most petite woman in our class---barely 4'11, about 95 pounds. Their patient was an elderly man unable to T&R, so they went in to turn him. They followed procedure, bent over the bed, and turned him....and he farted. Professionally they finished turning and positioning him, trying to ignore the noxious cloud surrounding them. After leaving the room, the guy turned to the lady and said,"Did you hear that?" She said, "Not only did I hear that, but I almost died from the smell. Who would have thought an old man could fart like that???!?!"
He smiled and leaned over to her and said" Ummmm....that was me."
And then there was this other male nursing student that was giving an elderly gentleman a bed bath and turned him over to do his job thoroughly, and saw some poop between the man's legs. In an attempt to prevent resoiling the already cleaned area, he quickly reached in with his rag and grabbed the offending article, only to find it was the gentleman's BALLS.
I laugh everytime I think of these stories, and I could probably come up with more if I tried......lol
The only one I can think of is when an lpn was reporting off to the rn at the end of a particularly busy, hair-pulling night shift. They were discussing a patient's lung sounds and the lpn accidentally described what she had auscultated as "scattered weazles". :chuckle :chuckle I still rib her about that once in a while. :)
we were opening a brand new facility, no residents had been admitted when i told a co-worker about putting a snickers or baby ruth bar in a clean disposable diaper, heating it for a few seconds in the microwave, and then placing it in a location where it could be found and complained about for improper disposal. we laughed about who all we could pull that one on that was currently working there.
about a month later, he did pull it on another staff member...she was furious said it was inappropriate and disgusting, and reported it to the director of nursing who reported it to the administrator. only problem was the director of nursing was laughing so hard she was crying as she told her boss.
there's a recipe called "kitty litter cake" that can be downloaded after doing a search for...that's our dessert tomorrow night at work! looks just like used kitty litter...
I had a run of GI trouble about 15 years ago and had to be on hyperal for a little while. I really got along great with the night shift nurse (they all were great, but she was so cool). She came in early in the morning (0200) to change out the hyperal and didn't realize I was still awake (yeah, patients sleep at night, my foot!). She went to rip open the IV bag, but she did it with her teeth!!! She saw me awake, and she said, "You didn't see that..." my reply to her: "See what?" :)
Oh-my-gosh. I think I would have walked out of the hospital for good right then.
OH MY GOD!!!! Thank you all for making me laugh sooooo hard!!!! I really needed to hear about the lighter side of nursing...I had a really tough week at work last week and I'm freaking out because I'm taking my NCLEX exam this coming Monday. So all of your stories were like a breath of fresh air. Thanks again!!!
i once was taking care of a young man who had a closed head injury. he was ambulatory but quite confused. i had been busy and by the time i spotted him he had made his way to a room that did not belong to him.
he was wearing only a t-shirt with all his jewels flowing in the wind. i rushed to the room just in time to stop him from climbing in the other patients bed. he did not want to leave and i had to use a bit of force to walk him back to his own room(he was pulling away and trying to hit me). as we passed by the nurses station(where sat several doctors and nurses) he screamed "RAPE! RAPE!
we once had an elderly schitzophrenic male patient. he had told us of all the wealth he had and how he would pay any of us $1000 a day to take him home and take care of him. he had a huge mansion. he, of course, had invented the band-aid, the calculator, and several other things i can't recall now.
anyway. he was scheduled to be transferred to a snf and did not want to go. when the transporters went to his room he told them he had tb. they came to the nurses station saying they could not transport him. we had to assure them he, in fact, did NOT have tb.
then all was well. he was discharged. about 20 or so minutes later we got a call from the snf saying the patient had complained on arrival that he had been sexually assaulted on the way over by the transporters.
on the unit i was working on we had a very nice older doc who couldn't see very well. he liked to really check out his patients. we had notified him of a stage 2 to the coccyx of one of his patients and he wanted to see it. myself and another nurse went to the room with him and turned the patient pointing to the decub(a small slit right in the crack area). the doc was like "where?? i can't see it." i'm not sure if he ever really saw it or just gave up and decided to take our word for it.
anyway. this same doc approached me weeks later and told me my patient in room such and such had had a bowel movement and could i take care of him. i said sure.
i went and checked on the patient but there was no bm. i went on about my business.
after about twenty minutes the charge nurse approached me and said "the doctor is concerned that you have not been in to clean up your patient yet." i told her there was no bm.
i then went and told the doctor there was no bm. here we went back to the room(me and the doc). he pointed down--see he is dirty.
i said quietly "doc, those are his testicles".
the patient was kind of dark skinned and his testicles were darker still.
we had a good laugh about that after leaving the room.
OK, now if this happened to me, I would probably vomit, but it was hilarious because it wasn't me...
One night another nurse and I were cleaning up a disasterous code brown (patient was sedated, on the ventilator). He got some poop on the outside of one of his gloves and then sort of scratched his cheek with that hand, leaving a streak of runny poop across his face. I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee myself and HE HAD NO CLUE! I couldn't hardly get the words out "You have poop smeared on your cheek!" When he discovered it (quickly, the smell from his cheek to nostrils couldn't have taken long) he wiped it off with a paper towel and then used alcohol pads across his entire face...But oh, the look of war paint was hilarious! :rotfl:
:rotfl: Oh My Gosh!!! That's hilarious, I almost spit my drink all over the screen!!! Hilarious, Code Brown, I'm gonna use that one. :chuckle
Well, I as of right now, am only a hopefull nurse, but I am also a patient, and the nurse in my craniofacial surgeon (plastic surgeon)'s office decided to all of a sudden without warning massage my right orbits tear ducts. you see that eye is always closed and tears drip out of it. She says I should massage the tear ducts three times a day to lessen the tearing. (Not sure if it is funny to other nurses, but it seemed it to me, also the reason she did not warn me is we know eachother since I have been going to that office since I was 2 so I trust her and she doesn't feel she needs to explain prior, she explains while she is doing it.)
I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee myself and HE HAD NO CLUE! I couldn't hardly get the words out "You have poop smeared on your cheek!" When he discovered it (quickly, the smell from his cheek to nostrils couldn't have taken long) he wiped it off with a paper towel and then used alcohol pads across his entire face...But oh, the look of war paint was hilarious! :rotfl:
Do you think Bush is looking to win the war on poo???????
Nurse Somebody
23 Posts
When I was in nursing school, my fellow students included men and women. One of the guys was about 6'4, 290. We were paired off in clinicals the first few weeks we were "out there", and naturally he was assigned to work with the most petite woman in our class---barely 4'11, about 95 pounds. Their patient was an elderly man unable to T&R, so they went in to turn him. They followed procedure, bent over the bed, and turned him....and he farted. Professionally they finished turning and positioning him, trying to ignore the noxious cloud surrounding them. After leaving the room, the guy turned to the lady and said,"Did you hear that?" She said, "Not only did I hear that, but I almost died from the smell. Who would have thought an old man could fart like that???!?!"
He smiled and leaned over to her and said" Ummmm....that was me."
And then there was this other male nursing student that was giving an elderly gentleman a bed bath and turned him over to do his job thoroughly, and saw some poop between the man's legs. In an attempt to prevent resoiling the already cleaned area, he quickly reached in with his rag and grabbed the offending article, only to find it was the gentleman's BALLS.
I laugh everytime I think of these stories, and I could probably come up with more if I tried......lol