One night in the icu, I needed help to turn a patient who was on a vent, and sedated with a versed drip. I had asked a nurse to come into the room, and she followed. We went to both sides of the patient and proceeded to grab the lift sheet when she said........"Wait just a minute, I have to FART!". She then proceeded to back up from the bed, turn around, lift up a leg, and farted as loud as can be. She then returned to the bed grinning to herself and helped me lift the patient.
I couldn't wait to get out of the room. I about died laughing inside. I couldn't wait to "put on a play" for the nurses in the nurses break room and replay that moment for them. They were laughing so hard. We still laugh to this day!
Specializes in Geriatrics and Quality Improvement,.
Ok another preemie story....
One particular nurse was very fixated on her tiny patient's stools. In babies - almost always runny or very soft and yellow to light brown. One day when she wasn't looking, someone filled her little patient's diaper with milk duds. The look on her face when she opened it up was priceless!
Milk Duds... !!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA :rotfl: :rotfl:
A friend of mine was taking care of a quad in a Clinitron at home. (For newbies, this was a state of the art pressure relief bed that basically "floated" a patient on a cushion of very fine sand that had air jets blowing through it. I don't know if anyone uses them at all anymore.) This guy, who was very unpleasant anyway and who had ended up a quad as a result of getting shot during a drug deal, had *severe* diarrhea. Sadly, my poor friend turned this guy over and that's when the bottom sheet popped right off the Clinitron, sending her patient plummeting to the bottom of the bed through all that sand and (because of the diarrhea) effectively turning the bed into a giagantic litter box. But that's not the good part - the good part is she then had to get INTO the bed - sand, poop and all - to retrieve her patient...
I must say this is the funniest thing I have ever heard.I would have cried if it were me, though!!!! what ever happened to those clinitron beds? were they deemed ineffective, or too expensive???? I have been out of the nursing facility scene a while...
This happened to a nursing friend years ago in a LTC facility. She and another RN were each feeding a resident. My friend noticed that the resident the other RN was feeding had his mouth wide open and the food was runnining out of his mouth. The other RN then said to my friend "I just don't understand why Mr. C. isn't eating." My friend said that she took a really hard look at this resident ... the man was dead. Very calmly, my friend asked the other RN if she thought this resident was any longer with us. The other RN looked at the resident again and exlaimed "omygosh, omygosh!!".
Nursing school, first IM injection. I confidently draw up my injection, give the whole speal to the instructor, who in turn said to me, even though I am nervous, act as though I had done it many times before, so not to alarm the patient. We went over site, tecnique, once more, I was confident, and not at all nervous, really. Well, we go into pt's room, I draw the curtain dividing both beds, an elderly man was sitting in the chair beside said curtain, which I had my back to. Mt pt turns over, exposes his rear end, and instantaneously, I let out a gasp, and then giggle a little, gasp again ,an Oh my god.... My patient says....... "Whats the matter, aint you ever given no shot before, or you never seen a black A**?". My instructor is glaring at me, and I quickly explain that, no, no no, its not that, its that the man behind the curtain was groping me all the way up my dress uniform, and pinching my rear end. Me, my instructor and my patient all burst out laughing. They both looked down, and you saw this little old bald head under the curtain with his arm reaching up to me. ...................
When we left the room, my instructor was still laughing........she was able to blurt out that she was so mad at me there for a sec.... she thought I had actually lost it and was panicking about giving my first IM injection. The whole school heard about it, it was soo funny.
I was a patient one time and I had a elderly man with dementia as a roommate. Whenever a nurse comes in he would try to get them to touch his member with his italian accent. At times he would poop and smear it all over himself so the nurse would come in and give him sponge baths. While the nurses would clean him up, he would try to grab them to touch this member. It was horrible for me as a patient and for the nurses that were trying to take care of this man. Then the family would come in and he would complain that the nurses were touching him inapporiately!!
It's pathetic to have dememtia, once I was attached to the female medical ward when I was still a student nurse. Some of these dementia pts are quite"cute"WHY? There was this elderly pt who'll kept singing her favourite teochew opera everyday, she's like a kid. A very adorable old lady that's our favourite while there's others who will pull out urinary catheter, IV plugs or even smeared their poo all over themselves and the bed - creating abstract art. Most of these patients sadly were always alone and there's hardly any visitors so we nurses are their regular caregivers and patners.
I can't imagine myself having demetia when I get old, hope I won't be abandon.
We had a para who a habit of aquiring some hellishly large pressure ulcers on his rear. He was a grumpy, mean-spirited old man. He had several plastic reconstructions and flaps to close them over the years so to say the least his anatomy was a little abnormal. He had BID dressing changes. The RN who had him on eves gave him his suppository and then did his dressing change. Later he kept saying that he felt like he had BM "right there", but it wasn't coming out. The RN went in to investigate only to find that she had taped his orifice shut! She removed the tape and- well- you can imagine. Every suppository night after that he told his RN, "Just don't tape my pooper shut like so&so!" He teased her about that for weeks. It was one of the only times that I saw him really laugh in his multiple stays with us.
The next time this patient came to the nurses station (about half hour later) she calmly stated, "I'm putting a mafia hit out on that Taco Bell Chihuahua dog".
In psychiatric nursing u get really good at holding back a laugh until u are able to sneak into the break room or away from the pt to laugh histerically
that was so funny! i can relate to that...i was a cna at a nursing home right after i got out of high school and we had one pt who was schizo and she swore up and down she was the head of the CIA and she had an old inkpen on a string around her wrist that she wouldnt let anyone touch or remove because "it was a tracking device the FBI used to track me" and she found a newspaper headline saying the CIA had found a new head and she brought it to me and said as serious as she could be, "see, that used to be my job. and this guy here is the one they replaced me with...." she was funny because she was so so serious about being an agent. i guess you just had to be there
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I think this is our safe place to decompress and not have to worry about being perfect. I respect Cara's caring and respect for the dead, but also the need for humor that at times is totally politically incorrect. This is our safe place though so bring it on - these are hilarious.
I can imagine that in that situation I could have found it funny - some nights it's better to laugh. My gosh, some nights I silently screamed the whole shift, it was that bad.
However - I do know that patients and patients' families take a gander over on this board now and then - and sometimes get upset about what they read. I also know that at least one magazine has PUBLISHED quotes from this board - and not in a flattering way!
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
A friend of mine had a patient several years ago on reverse isolation. He was on intermitt antibiotics but no continuous fluids (thank goodness i guess). This was before all needleless systems. She hung his PM dose of antibiotics mixed in 100cc of saline. He was confused at times, she went back 1 hour later to flush the heplock and he had the biggest grin on his face. Somehow he had disconnected the infusion and managed to get the needle stuck in his member. He was smiling from ear to ear with the biggest erection you could imagine. The poor soul did expire a few days later, but, there was no complication from the infiltrated member.
Now THAT - is priceless. God rest his soul.
** addendum - I just realized why you said "no continuous fluids (thank goodness I guess)" ha ha ha! Picturing Macy's parade ....
I had just finished my CNA training course and was working in the medical profession for the first time in my life at 18 years old. I had only been working as an aide for 2 months in a long term care facility. On day I had a new admit on my assingment. He was a hospice patient who was expected to live for another 3-6 months. I set up the room and awaited his arrival. Once he arrived I helped transfer him to the bed from the gurney. Introduced myself to him and his wife and daughter. He was A&Ox3. Well the night went smoothly. He used the call light around 9pm after that i assumed he was sleeping. AT 1015 I went to check on him on last time before end of shift. His eyes were fixed and dilated and he wouldn't respond to me. Me being new freaked out. Instead of checking for a pulse or anything. I decided to lift his arm straight up in the air and drop it to see what would happen. I have no idea what i thought this would tell me but tht is what i did. When he arm flopped down to the bed. I ran to the next room to grab another CNA who had trained me. I ran in yelling " It's Richard he's dead." The other aide laughed at me and started walking to the room. Which was fast enough for me i screamed at him to hurry and he just keep chuckling as he walked. He got there and checked for a pulse and calmly looked up at me and asked if i had told the nurse. So then i RAN and i mean ran as fast as i could down the hall to get the nurse. They were both just cracking up at me. I look back now and get a good chuckle from this. I love telling this story because it reinforces to myself how far i have coming in my nursing career considering I am now a nurse on a ventilator unit who deals with code blues all the time. My heart still beats faster and i can feel the release of adrenaline when i hear code blue. But at least now i know to check for a pulse and not do the dead arm flop. LOL Luckly there was no family there to witness my inexperience.
I was working 3-11, one other RN, on med surg. We were standing at the desk and my patients family came out to say that they didn't think Dad was breathing. The other nurse and I sent the visitors out and pulled the curtains. I stood on one side, she on the other. I was using my stethoscope listening for lung sounds and I assumed she was planning to feel for a carotid pulse. All of a sudden, she turned his head towards me ( I was bending over, inches from his face) and pulled down on his chin. In her best ventriloquist voice, she said, "hello". Unfortunately, it was my patient and I had to try to tell the loved ones that Dad had indeed ceased to breathe without losing my composure. When I got to the charting room I laughed till I PIMP!
I don't think this was funny at all, what if you were a family member seeing this, or this was your father. Nurses get a bad enough rap without asking for it.
In my first clinical rotation, very early in the semester, I had to shadow an admissions nurse. The patient was morbidly obese and when the nurse was done asking questions we both walked into the hallway where the nurse finished the paperwork. The nurse then instructed me to go back and ask the patient if they took her weight in the ER. So I did just that and returned with my answer, which was "yes".
Ok, so I got past the "it's not nice to ask personal questions issue".
SitcomNurse, BSN, MSN, EdD, RN
273 Posts
Milk Duds... !!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA :rotfl: :rotfl: