Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

Published

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Cardiac/Neuro.

We had a family that kept repeatedly coming into the small ER where I worked with scabies and lice as a chief complaint.

The ER doc was so frustrated, he wrote (illegibly of course) a perscription for

S&W.

The pharmacy called later and asked what S&W was he stated "SOAP AND WATER"

He was written up-it was inappropriate--but still funny.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

"check blood pressure with a different cuff"

actual order from onc doc

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

"Please find out what noise in the wall is and call maintenance to fix."

Umm...how about I just call maintenance!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in floor to ICU.

Pt was refusing Boost drinks. "I don't care if the Boost cans are lined up and down the hall, give it to the patient anyways."

On progress notes, "Nurse lost stone in carpet". Short version: I dropped a kidney stone out of my gloved hand.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

in drug kardex 35ml whiskey prn nocte for a 80 yr old lady who drank a bottle of whiskey a week on the basis that to withdraw alcohol in elderly alcoholics causes them more confussion

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, ER, HH, NICU, now FNP.

I have seen a 92 year old in DT's 3 days post admit to a nursing home - it was no laughing matter.

Apparently the family decided not to inform the doc about dad's 60 year nightly 3 shot of scotch habit ;)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in psych.
Many of you are showing your youth and inexperience. 3H enema used to be a very common order. In LTC, wine is often given to stimulate appetite on little 80 pound patients. I suppose you've never heard of using sugar or MOM to put on decubiti to promote healing, either. Gone are the days when the docs from the old school come in and turn off the ICU monitor and tell you to look at the patient and treat the patient, not the machine! And what happened to giving a backrub at bedtime to every patient??

I graduated in '03, and i was actually checked off in school for backrubs, it was considered part of a bed bath ...

But anyways, I have a resident that's blind and dribbles and refuses to use depends/poise pads whatever. Claims he can't see the toilet, he makes such a mess the bathroom stinks like a horse barn. Doc actually wrote an order for resident to have "blue tabs in toilet to promote visibility." .... Like I keep those handy. Right in the med cart. I almost called him though to verify frequency and what route to give to the toilet.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med/surg,ortho trauma,step down,neuro.

the first " 1gm tylenol iv"

the second: nursing to bathe patient daily. that one got the doc an earful!!:angryfire

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

Wash pt's hair. Now! (shall we call the rapid response team for that urgent order?)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.
in drug kardex 35ml whiskey prn nocte for a 80 yr old lady who drank a bottle of whiskey a week on the basis that to withdraw alcohol in elderly alcoholics causes them more confussion

I've seen a patient with a hip fracture repair get bourbon two or three times a day- ortho didn't want her going into DT's until her hip had healed. It came up from pharmacy in a brown medicine bottle.

I've also seen Budweiser come up from pharmacy for a kidney stone patient.

I don't know if any of those things would still be done- this was years ago.

As far as I'm concerned, if a bottle of whiskey a week hasn't killed the 80 year old patient by now, it probably won't. And alcohol withdrawal is not pretty at any age!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I worked LTC as recently as 6 years ago, and yes, there WERE patients who got their nightly shot of liquor!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm a HUC on a Peds floor. We don't do critical care, so serious patients are usually transferred to Childrens. A couple of years ago we had a patient that was in the process of being transferred and was developing respiratory distress. The peds Dr. at the time ran out into the hall and told the nurse to call 911 stat! He was dead serious!

Incidently, this is the same Dr. that chewed me out for not being able to force micro to give me blood culture results 4 hours after they had been drawn. He thought that if he demanded it, it would happen... DUH!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment