friends with management-Is this a bad thing?

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Dec 10, 2005

They might look at it as an us verse them thing? Not to get too nosey, but are you dating (its hard to tell by your post)? Is she your supervisor or have any authority of you? Right now I would ignore it and maybe just not be so friendly with her while at work.

fluffwad · Dec 10, 2005

Pay attention to how this friendship comes across to other people, and pay attention to how you are thinking about it yourself.....your mindset about this kind of thing shows whether you realize it or not.

My former DON used to make comments that led people to believe she was 'pals' with the administrator. His behavior seemed to indicate that this was true in part. Things went from bad to worse with this DON and we could not go to the administrator with our concerns until we had actual big problems and could prove our point. She got fired, and the administrator looks like a fool.

I have been friends with current and former co-workers and ADONs, but I have made a point of not letting that stop me from reporting or dealing with problems when it was necessary.

I have been guilty of the attitude of 'how can they do (fill in the blank) to me?' though......

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Dec 10, 2005

I work in a LTC with 275 beds. I work as a floor nurse on day shift. I recently starting associating with a Resident Care Manager on evening shift. I really enjoy her company. The problem is this, I've been getting a lot of catty comments from my co-workers on days. Some of my co-workers have seen us out and about on our days off. Anyways, these co-workers are making me feel as though I've done something wrong. What do you guys think? Is there something wrong with my new friendship?

Well, that's there intention, to get to you. The key is to not let it work.

If a manager and an employee can be friends and not let it affect either of their jobs, i don't see the harm in it.

And the next time a co-worker makes a catty comment, just say "Sorry, i don't have time for the immature, petty, and catty crap that some people insist on dishing out." and go about your business.

pkeyrn · Dec 12, 2005

It is all a matter of being able to separate work from leisure. I have worked as a Supervisor and other areas of administration for many years now. I also have had several friends, good friends, that were CNA's, LPNs and floor RNs as well as housekeepers, maintenance personnel. I have always made it clear to these friends that, while we are friends when off duty,. on duty I am the Supervisor and my main concern is with maintaining the necessary level of care for the residents. They know that just being friends does not mean that they can let things slide or goof off. Work is work, not play and I do not tolerate an unacceptable level of care.

Happytocare · Dec 13, 2005

They might look at it as an us verse them thing? Not to get too nosey, but are you dating (its hard to tell by your post)? Is she your supervisor or have any authority of you? Right now I would ignore it and maybe just not be so friendly with her while at work.

Thanks for the advice. No, we're both happily married to great guys. No she has no authority over me what so ever. We work opposite shifts. The understanding between us is work is work. We both have jobs to do. :nurse:

lovingtheunloved, ASN, RN · Dec 13, 2005

My ADON and I are very close friends, and have been since before she took the job. It's common knowledge that we're friends, and when she took the job, good lord some people threw a fit. Mostly that I'd "be running the place." It was only a few people who whined quite loudly. And it eventually died down. And I know that we are both professionals and that at work, she is my boss. People will come around. I think it's a little bit of jealousy for some people, since the ones that were upset were people that didn't like either one of us in the first place.

txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN · Jan 16, 2006

This is a common problem in nursing homes. You talk to a certain person more than usual or eat together on lunch breaks and all of a sudden you are married and having kids. I have a good friend at work and recently he has been experiencing some turmoil in his life and needed a friend to talk to. So I have been talking to him more and now Im hearing all kinds of rumors. All are assumptions no one has ever seen me with this person outside the building or seen any type of contact but just because we talk more .... we are involved. This is just crazy!!!!!!

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Jan 18, 2006

I was great friends with my DON, but we kept it professional, and basically we also kept things at work. We didn't go out together...but by her choosing, and sadly she didn't attend the house warming party I had that I know she wanted to go to! She did sneek me a special present for my home though...but we both were saddened by the fact she didn't attend, but we knew why!

I kept my friendship at work, and professional...and this worked well. Yeah, sometimes I really wanted to call her at home, or go out...but that would cause problems with the admin. Now, however, that I no longer work there...maybe there is hope (but she is still very sad and well...upset that I left...may take time, I guess she really wanted me to take over her position once she retired, now that is not an option...but as close as we were, I never knew that ).

I think it is cool if you are friendly and professional, and heck, I see times when going out to have fun would be okay as long as you don't discuss work really if you are out..who wants to hear that stuff when you want to have fun anyway..LOL! Also, be aware that any impressions you make outside of work do tend to come into work...and with a manager..ummmm...so sometimes you will feel you are on your guard when you just want to be yourself (I debated that a lot when it came to wanting to go out to lunch with her).

Just tread carefully, and enjoy the company of people no matter their title...a happy friendly relationship with everyone at work equates to a happier facility!

suebird3 · Jan 21, 2006

my adon and i are very close friends, and have been since before she took the job. it's common knowledge that we're friends, and when she took the job, good lord some people threw a fit. mostly that i'd "be running the place." it was only a few people who whined quite loudly. and it eventually died down. and i know that we are both professionals and that at work, she is my boss. people will come around. i think it's a little bit of jealousy for some people, since the ones that were upset were people that didn't like either one of us in the first place.

yep....all too true. my don was the 11-7 nurse when i started my job. there have been times when i am "asked" to "suggest" things. heck...do yer own asking!