Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty.....

Nurses Recovery

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....I’m free at last (with apologies to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)

It’s over.

Got a phone call from the case manager at approximately 3:04 pm today. However there will be no celebratory glass of wine or whatever until I have the written confirmation in my hot little hand.

Actually, I don’t even want to ‘celebrate.’ It’s just over and that is all. I can breathe for the first time in over 5 years and that is enough.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.

Cats, so happy for you! Congratulations and now, upward and onward!

Go, my free friend, and enjoy your life!

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Specializes in OR.

Thank you all for the well wishes. It’s been a very hard road but one I am happy to no longer be traversing. There’s so much discussion about the draconian and unfair applications of these programs. There is, by all means a place for monitoring programs and applied appropriately, there is the potential for so much. The thing is that I don’t think that Little ol’ me can fix the situation as I am not ‘crusader rabbit.’ I’ve had people tell me to ‘write anonymous letters to the BON’, etc. I’m not sure that will do much good for either the situation or myself. I don’t think it is healthy for me to wallow in what is no longer my sewer.

However, The horrible things that happened to me under the guise of ‘help’ is not something that anyone should have to go through. The way that I see that I can help is to continue to be a presence here and try to support those just beginning this or in the midst. I shall endeavor to do just that.

Now that my license is “unencumbered” I am going to be looking at MSN or DNP programs. (There is a PhD program that sounds interesting) It’s time to pick up where I left off and put my life back together without the fear of stepping wrong. Perhaps in the academic sphere, I can at least try to educate others.

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
3 hours ago, catsmeow1972 said:

Now that my license is “unencumbered” I am going to be looking at MSN or DNP programs. (There is a PhD program that sounds interesting) It’s time to pick up where I left off and put my life back together without the fear of stepping wrong. Perhaps in the academic sphere, I can at least try to educate others.

You'd do well at that. Best of luck to you!

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Professor Cats.....

i like it. You would be great

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Cats, was your program 5 years?

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Specializes in OR.
3 hours ago, KatmamaRN said:

Cats, was your program 5 years?

the contract was 5 years. The intake process that included all the unnecessary "rehab" and the immense outlay of cash (something close to $40K if memory serves me correctly) was close to a year. So this whole field trip through hell has lasted nearly 6 years.

5 years seems to be the standard length regardless of why you are there. There is some statistic (keeping in mind that one can massage statistics to say anything one wants) that has to do with relapse rates in the SUD population. I've never found an actual study and it's probably anecdotal, but for that population it may be appropriate. For many programs though, it has become an arbitrary, across the board sentence, no matter the "crime." IMO that is yet another example of the greed and laziness that is rampant in the majority of monitoring programs.

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My contract was also five years, though I’ve seen some people talk about being in programs for 2-3 years. The “one-size fits all” approach has always bothered me. My infraction was minimal compared to some, yet I endured the same punishment and will have the same mark on my record forever and always. It’s so degrading. I’m working part time at the facility where this happened (I resigned, not terminated, and was eligible for rehire) and the sideways glances from people who knew me back then tell me all I need to know about the rumors my situation generated.

At least we can hold up our heads a bit higher now. In 64 days it will be behind me too.

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Hahaha. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I’m having a hard time with my current job and I can’t even post anything on my Facebook page because HR always seems to find out.

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Med/Surg.
On 8/26/2019 at 3:53 PM, KatmamaRN said:

I endured the same punishment and will have the same mark on my record forever and always.

My career was completely destroyed when I "diverted" drugs at my first nursing job 20 years ago. Just within the last month, I had a company turn their nose up at me because of my "black mark." Do those fools have any idea what I went through to get an "unencumbered license?"

My probation took SIX YEARS to get through because, at the depths of the recent economic depression, I couldn't find any kind of nursing job so my probation just kept stretching out endlessly. I finally petitioned the BON to end the probation because I had worked so many hours prior to losing my full time job that I fulfilled their requirement of X numbers of hours worked per quarter to have it reduce my probation time.

Within the last two days, I heard an NPR report of a father suing one of the opiate manufacturers for his son's death. The son was an addict but had been drug free for many months at the time of his death. However, he was so ashamed of the stigma of being a "druggie" that he took his own life.

I understand how the son felt, I think.

Unfortunately I can't find a link to the piece but if I do, I will edit this post with the link.

Suffice to say, many, many nurses have been shamed into taking their own lives by these BON's. I'd like to see some real statistics of how many nurses are able to complete these nightmare terms of probation. I'll bet a lot of them just throw in the towel. Sometimes I wonder if I should have.

What's the point of breaking my back and eating dirt for the rest of my life when I can't even get a job with benefits any more?`

That's enough for now. Bitterness is no recipe for a decent life.

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Specializes in OR.
24 minutes ago, catmom1 said:

Suffice to say, many, many nurses have been shamed into taking their own lives by these BON's. I'd like to see some real statistics of how many nurses are able to complete these nightmare terms of probation. I'll bet a lot of them just throw in the towel. Sometimes I wonder if I should have.

I have seen more than one ‘throw in the towel’ usually because of the prohibitive expenses involved in this. My state has claimed something like 78% of its participants are working in nursing. Yeah well, the other 22% are struggling and of those that are working, how many are trapped in undesirable (or unsafe) jobs, because that’s all they could get.

In my time I uprooted myself for the first job (again, it was all I could get) and moved only to find out that full time hours were imaginary and the place was sooooo dangerous in terms of patient safety and horrifying in terms of physician and co-worker behavior.

The second job, I was forced into an area that I’ve never worked and and never wanted to work. Though I have much respect for floor nurses, having now been on both sides of the bedside (as patient and nurse) I also know that it’s a job I cannot do. I’m just plain not good at it.

For the majority of the rest of the contract, having satisfied the work requirement, I simply sat out and did nothing and counted days. Closing the end, I found what has been the perfect job. It involved relocating to 5 hours away from family but I suppose that is the price.

That price has been 3 moves of the course of it and an untold amount of money and stress. I am fortunate in that I could pick up and move. Many cannot....

Anything I accomplished over this time has been in spite of the program, certainly not due to it.

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Specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.

AWESOME!!!!! You hung in there (and I know it was seriously tough), and you did it. I'm so happy for you!

I do like Professor Cat. You would make a wonderful professor. For that matter, you are a great nurse and beautiful person.

Keep in touch with the next steps in your great adventure. You are a great role model for so many things.

I'm so darn happy for you I'm tearing up. ?

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Oh I know how great this feels. Been there and cannot express my gratitude to be done. Glad you made it! Congrats

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