KatmamaRN

I don’t have any answers for your questions as my situation was different, but I do agree with caliotter3 that it might be a good idea to do something different while you rehab. You could still have repercussions since you’re still a “nurse” but your life will be under a microscope for years if the BON gets involved. You just said your meds weren’t prescribed; if that includes diverting, you’ve got to stop before you get caught. Either way, get help sooner than later. My meds were my own prescribed medications and I still did 5 years of this mess that left a permanent mark on my record. I wish you all the best and hope you get what you need ASAP.

Thanks y’all. It feels good to be done, but I’ll never be the same. It did leave a scar on my psyche in addition to public information that will always be out there. Isn’t it funny...my very “private” diagnosis is out there for all the world to see. My regrettable way of coping has become an example of what not to do. For certain all of this has made me question my career choice and future.

One week past my contract date, and I am DONE. Nerve-wracking TIL the end, to say the least, but 5+ years of mental stress can now be put behind me. It was very matter-of-fact, as I have no history with the new case manager, but she was nice enough. I did express that I wish there had been more support individually vs punishment but I’m sure they hear that all the time. The bottom line is: I’M FREE!!!! For those of you just getting started or knee deep in it, don’t give up! You can do this, one day at a time. It DOES end eventually, and you will have your unrestricted, multistate license back. Or whatever it is you lost, minus some dignity, but look at all you’ll gain: self confidence that you can do something really difficult if you persevere. Good luck! Keep pounding!

Thanks y’all. I’m two days past my “end” date but I still haven’t heard anything. This test usually takes a week, so I figured this would run into next week. In my mind, it’s already over ?

My assumption is they test for alcohol with every test, but especially if alcohol was a DOC, I’d expect it.

Thanks y’all! You’re absolutely right, and I’m normally so patient. My hubby tried to make me feel better about it too. We have a weekend planned that I was hoping to relax a bit and even have a celebratory shot of sake or wine tasting @ Biltmore House, but I’ll have to wait for that part. My case manager, who I’ve never really talked to since she started a year ago, didn’t even realize my end date was upon us. I guess that’s part of my frustration too, as now I have to wait about a week for test results and paperwork. The previous cm wouldn’t have let it slip, and even though she rode my butt at first, we developed a mutual respect and she personally called me when she resigned. She said I was an “easy” client ? Speaking of alcohol, I know a lot of nurses do have a problem with drinking, but I never have. NA did not distinguish between drugs. I have found myself mostly at A.A. meetings due to scarce NA meetings in my area, and they always accepted me, but I never identified as an alcoholic. I could never admit that because, quite frankly, it would have been a lie. I have a HUGE respect for these people, and I had the honor of caring for one of our members with 55 years of sobriety who passed away. But I’m going to move on and try not to feel guilty for living my life without that restriction. Has anyone else felt this way?

Two days before my contract is up and I’m selected to test. Results usually take a week to come back. I’m not sure what this means as far as my finish date, but I will NOT be a happy camper if this is extended pending results. Not a day longer...(sorry to vent)

Did they make you wait on test results to “officially” be done. I had never considered that until someone mentioned it here. I know I’m clean, but I don’t want to wait one more day beyond the contract date.

Perfect!!!

Thank you! It’s sooooo close. I kinda knew what to expect with my old case manager but she left a year ago. I’ve never even really talked to the new cm but she seems more strict. I can’t wait to be able to file all my paperwork away and not look at it again. I’d love a beautiful fall bonfire, but the hoarder in me may not let that happen.

...and still haven’t tested since August. What were your last couple of months like? I feel sure they’ll test me at least once more before it all ends, but they don’t have long. I’m antsy because I want to be DONE on my date and not held up waiting on results.

Congrats! I can’t wait to taste that freedom. I’m down to 10 days and haven’t tested since August. Now I’m freaked out that I would have to wait past my “date” for any results if they decide to test? I’ve been a model prisoner for five years...hoping I’ll be done.

First, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. Life sure does suck sometimes and throws us curveballs we don’t desire or expect. I agree with keeping this under wraps. Perhaps some alcohol treatment or detox would help, but let me just say, a lot of times they throw in the A.A. aspect. Now before you give up on that, perhaps you may consider trying different AA groups. I’m not even an alcoholic, but over the past five years I learned SO much by listening to others. I didn’t contribute a lot since pills were my issue, but most groups welcomed me with open arms. I use the mantras even today, and I’m two weeks from finishing my 5 yr program. I KNOW if I ever feel like I’m going to slip or have an issue, they are there for me, and they are FREE. Sometimes it was a place to clear my head, vent, contemplate, share. Our oldest and most sober friend (50+ years sobriety) passed away yesterday. His wisdom wasn’t something you could purchase, read about, hope for....you just had to be there in his presence. Good luck to you in finding what works best for you, and for recognizing you have a problem.

I do miss my doc, ambien, which is not what I got in trouble for (I was positive for opiates on the job). I’ve had to be on opiates while in this program, with permission, and I didn’t have any problems when I finished them. But I was abusing ambien and opiates together....never again!! I was not a drinker before this but I do look forward to having a drink socially without worry. 18 more days.......

When I appeared “sleepy” on the job, I was hauled off to employee health and peed in a cup and forced to spend the night at the hospital (they wouldn’t allow me to drive home). It came back positive for an opioid for which I had a legitimate prescription. But it didn’t end there. There were also “levels” that were tested and they eventually came back as too high. In other words, I was taking too much of my own ***. Nothing illegal in my system. I admitted myself into a psych unit (maybe a mistake) for depression and “dual diagnosis” because I knew in my heart, and in that cup, that I was abusing my own meds. But it was more depression and what was going on in my life that was killing me, though eventually the pills would have done it. Six months and a new job later, they had to “protect the public” so I got signed up in monitoring. I never stopped working as a nurse. I was also lucky for that. This month makes five years for me and I’m down to the last three weeks. My point? Yes, you CAN get in trouble with your own legitimate medications, and most definitely if the THC was in your system. But, do not despair. There is always hope. And decide what you really want and if nursing is worth fighting for, do it! Is the BON/monitoring/BS an expensive load of crap? From what I’ve seen here and experienced firsthand, yes it is. But it is a means to an end. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll get something out of it. If nothing else, I have way better coping skills than I did five years ago. Sorry for the long post. Good luck and keep up with this forum; I wish I had been on this site the entire time to help me battle the shame, guilt and despair.