Fraternization question! NCP-related.

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Is it considered fraternization if I'm a civilian who is entering the Navy as an officer and have a boyfriend who is currently enlisted?

I'm a nursing student and just got accepted to the Navy Nurse Candidate Program. I will be commissioned after I graduate college (and pass the NCLEX) and before I go to Officer Development School.

Would it be better if my boyfriend and I get married before I get commissioned?

Or is it okay to wait until after ODS and I am all settled in my first duty station?

We want to get married so there's a better chance for us to be stationed relative close together. We're just trying to figure out when is the best time to do it. I still have 1.5 years till graduation.

He says it's better to do it before I'm commissioned so we'll have the paper to prove we were married before I joined... but I was hesitant to get married right around the time I'm gonna take the NCLEX and right before ODS because the name change and status change may affect all the required paperwork required for my license and ODS... Is there anyone who has insight on this?

(For the record, I would marry him in a heart beat right now [because 1. I love him to death and see myself with no one else for the rest of my life, and 2. there's more time and it'll easier to fix all the paperwork stuff], but my parents are strict and want me to graduate first that's why I'm trying to figure out what my other options are).

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Specializes in Adult Critical Care.

I think from an official "letter of the law" standpoint you're on the right track. However, I think that in practice those fraternization rules are only enforced if it becomes a distraction. I can think of several examples where people met at work, dated, and married before any command found out; nobody got article 15's when they notified their supervisors of the marriage.

I have also seen people get demoted over stuff that was really outrageous: married physician having an affair with a medic he supervised. To me, medical seems especially lax on the this stuff; officers work really closely with enlisted medics on a daily basis. Nobody gives it a second thought when we hang-out together outside of work.

I can't imagine you getting in trouble for continuing a pre-existing relationship, especially since you won't be commissioned until after graduation. I say get married when you're fully ready and able. You could also get the piece of paper and do the ceremony after graduation.

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Specializes in ER, ICU.

I agree, especially if the relationship is preexisting. Is there any chance he would be in your chain of command? If you won't be working together I don't think anyone would care.

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Would anyone question it or is there anything extra we need to do if we decided to get married once I'm already an officer?

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Previous posts are right. Fraternization is only looked at if it poses a problem. Enlisted and officer married couples live off post and engage in discretion, i.e., no domestic problems brought to the attention of supervisors at work.

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Previous posts are right. Fraternization is only looked at if it poses a problem. Enlisted and officer married couples live off post and engage in discretion, i.e., no domestic problems brought to the attention of supervisors at work.

So they wouldn't have a problem with us getting married once I'm already an officer?

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Specializes in hospice.
(For the record, I would marry him in a heart beat right now [because 1. I love him to death and see myself with no one else for the rest of my life, and 2. there's more time and it'll easier to fix all the paperwork stuff], but my parents are strict and want me to graduate first that's why I'm trying to figure out what my other options are).

Your parents are strict? How old are you? If your life choices depend on your parents' opinion, you're probably not ready to get married yet.

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Your parents are strict? How old are you? If your life choices depend on your parents' opinion, you're probably not ready to get married yet.

I'm 22. My parents are Asian. I was raised to respect them. I made a promise I'd graduate first before I got married.

But also, when it comes down to it, all I ever really want is their blessing... If he ends up getting deployed during the time I graduate, then we're gonna have to do it earlier whether they approve or not... I'm just trying to keep my word to my parents.

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Specializes in EMT, ER, Homehealth, OR.

What was once over looked is not as all the forces draw down. When is your boyfriend due to PCS? This could also be a factor, if he is due for a PCS he might end up being stationed on the other side of the country from you and unable to PCS back for a extended periods of time. Also since you are already accepted in the NCP program and he is due to PCS and you are married this would help him be stationed in one of the big 3 areas.

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What was once over looked is not as all the forces draw down. When is your boyfriend due to PCS? This could also be a factor, if he is due for a PCS he might end up being stationed on the other side of the country from you and unable to PCS back for a extended periods of time. Also since you are already accepted in the NCP program and he is due to PCS and you are married this would help him be stationed in one of the big 3 areas.

Well he's currently stationed overseas. By the time I graduate or maybe a couple months after I finish ODS, he'll be due for PCS or at least start like looking at his options and putting request in. So it'll be perfect timing!

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Specializes in ICU.

Judging by your situation military penal code (UCMJ) States that fraternization is between an officer and enlisted or two different ranks. I am a Junior officer in the army and I would say that you should go with your instinct here. A lot of my peers decided to get married on paper before they commissioned for multiple reasons:

1- More leverage in choosing a duty assisgnment, I.E. assignment preference close to your spouse

2- Marriage pay

3- Total closure in knowing that you won't be in the wrong when it comes to militayr law.

I know that if you do choose to get married before you commission, you can do just the paper portion and wait to do the ceremony so you do it right :)

-LT Blair

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Judging by your situation military penal code (UCMJ) States that fraternization is between an officer and enlisted or two different ranks. I am a Junior officer in the army and I would say that you should go with your instinct here. A lot of my peers decided to get married on paper before they commissioned for multiple reasons:

1- More leverage in choosing a duty assisgnment, I.E. assignment preference close to your spouse

2- Marriage pay

3- Total closure in knowing that you won't be in the wrong when it comes to militayr law.

I know that if you do choose to get married before you commission, you can do just the paper portion and wait to do the ceremony so you do it right :)

-LT Blair

Thank you! This is by far the most concrete helpful reply I got. :)

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