I find myself today some how discourage and with a low spirit, I would like to know the opinion and hear experiences from either new grads or more experience nurses about my story.
I was hired exactly one year ago as a New Grad at the ER in a local hospital. We all new grads were hired with a $5000 contract for 3 years. This contract involved educational training for New Grad ER nurses, This will include a preceptors and a Regional ER course. Well at the time and as a New grad looking for a new experience and any job that came across the ER sounded great, and 3 years contract really did not felt like much.
Well my journey started, I was trying to get use to be called the orientee, because this was the way all our coworkers were referring to us.
Well one day after a couple of week of orientations and lots of CE courses online required by the hospital, our manager said to us the ER course will start next week, but we have to make an addendum to your contract, is not going to be $5000 anymore now is $7500, I was forced to sign it at that point. We all sign it . The ER regional course was 4 or 5 weeks and it was useless, poor teachers nothing ER related really broad and vague. It was like assisting to one of those fast track NCLEX courses, basic stuff but nothing that I didn't knew already from nursing school. I really felt robbed, but again I needed a job and I was still excited about ER. We were suppose to have a ONE preceptor to follow through what you were learning, not many and who ever was willing to take you that day. This is what happened, I had multiple preceptors, some good, some hate to have an orientee and some just care less about teaching you. I completed my 6 month review with clean record :-) I even call dad , I am good I passed my probation period clean with clean record. that was a huge relieve, up to that point all my managers and directors were being some how nice to me. Well things change, once you are on your own with no preceptor, I was oriented during day shift for 3 months and now I was sent to nights. That was a major change for me, keeping in mind I had never ever work a night shift in my life, but that was my agreement and I was willing to fulfill it.
I was hired in March and I managed to keep up my new grad record clean, until season started, most of the techs were either fired or left, I see many nurses leave but I really didn't get involved, I was there to earn my living not to gossip around.
December 31th I was called for the first time to my managers office, I had gave another patient papers mixed with the packet the doctor handled me to discharge this patient, and I mislabeled a blood tube. I was being written up for the first time, my manager didn't look or acted as nice as before, she was rough, mean and really not understanding. I assumed my fault, but I accept my personality is sometimes talkative and I said I am not sure I gave those papers to the patient, because this is the case many times where the charge nurses give discharges or doctors do and then you have to sign on them, and ER is really busy things like this are hard to remember. But I guess I should just assume my fault and leave that office. Well I managed to just say I am sorry I will pay more attention to detail, this was what they counsel me about, attention to detail. Well after that I felt they were watching me, I was so sad and anxious not to make any mistakes that I feel the more careful I was the more clumsy I was becoming. I was called one more time to the office, A Retired Nurse who came to my ER almost at change of shift placed a complaint that she was never place in the monitor, and also I had place a urine sample in the same bag with the tubes, this according to the lab contaminates specimen and she made me withdraw the labs again. I gained a second write up. I appeal the monitor case because it was charted, but manager said patient was a reliable source and eve though I had patient for less than 30 minutes and even if I gave bedside report and it was documented in my chart, it wasn't valid and I had to keep the write up. I did not appeal this write up not until I received the 3rd write up.
The third write up happened last week march, we are talking of 3 write ups in a matter of 3 months. The last write up that caused me a suspension was about my biggest fault, I entered the medication list of one of my patients into another patients chart. They found out when the patient went to the floor and the nurse wrote me up, I have no excuse the ER has been to explosion level and my anxiety because I knew this was going to happened, my charge nurses being of no help, no techs in the ER , many normal factors of the ER.. no Excuse I am making stupid mistakes. I was told by my managers who were very aggressive in front of the ER director in this write up appeal meeting, We are seeing a pattern here you are not having attention to detail and also you don't accept your blames. They also told me that one more error and I will be fired. What should I do? Is this a good time to resign and take a deep breath before making more mistakes? Is my manager going to give bad references about me once I start looking for a job? I really feel stupid for making all this rookie mistakes :-(, mostly because my manager has told me I don't belong in the hospital world.
I am scared of resigning, but I am more afraid of being fired, how to handle this and leave with my head up ?
The fact that you assume thT I mean you shouldn't be a nurse from my post speaks worlds!
I dont think you should be an er nurse since you can't seem to gather your basics (which is to verify your patient).
I think you need to relax, realize that your mistakes if you keep on doing them will one day kill a patient or harm them. So for the safety of others... Figure it out and stop taking jobs. Stay there and fix your issues.
If you want reassurance, you should probably stick to the student forums; they seem to excell in that. If you want guidance, that's a different thing. The OP made several rather large errors in a short period of time and doesn't seem to understand the seriousness of that situation. Furthermore, she has difficulty communicating in the English language which is sure to lead to more errors (especially combined with the attitude) in the near future. She insults those she disagrees with, calls her charge nurses lazy (oh, and they might be bullying her) and doesn't like anyone who she sees as arrogant and judgemental -- which seems to be most anyone who disagrees with her. The OP is experiencing a cultural misfit on many levels. It would be doing her an enormous disservice to merely reassure and agree with her.
Your penultimate sentence makes me wonder about your attitude and ability to get along with colleagues as well.
I get along just fine. Assumptions...guess what that makes you?
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
So you are telling I should quit being a Nurse? Just because in my first year I made some mistakes? is ok, I have met people like you, and I appreciate your time to comment, but I am not getting nothing productive from your post.
I think she was telling you that since you don't seem to appreciate the gravity of your mistakes, perhaps you aren't cut out to be a nurse. And if you don't get anything productive from that post, that's more reason. And perhaps she was expressing apprehension for the fate of any future patients left in your care since you seem to be so cavilier about dismissing major errors.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I get along well with all my coworkers, not sure why your assumptions, my patients love me and I have made long term friends in the medical field. May be I had a bad month, and I made important mistakes. But I see more clear now and my head is up. I appreciate your tough love. But still don't get why you get so angry about this? I was just looking for guidance. I am sure I am not the first new grad who has made a mistake during the first year of practice. Why not to guide instead of burn the new grads? this is emotionally bullying, I feel pain every time people like you call me incompetent, I guess you feel happy under grading people? why still don't get why? where is all the good people in this field? we are called to be nurses and care for others why not to take care of our own?. If it makes you feel better, yes I feel bad for what I did, but I ask GOD for forgiveness if in any means my mistakes could of harm a patient, and yes I am moving on to continue being a Nurse.
What you appear to have difficulty understanding is that we're attempting to give you guidance; you just won't accept it. It's not emotional bullying and it's really not about your pain. It's about the pain and suffering you have or may have caused the patients in your care.
I feel very strongly that one does not need to be "called" to be a nurse, and you are one more example of a case where a "calling" seems to indeed to be a negative. You are so sure that nursing is your "calling" you're dismissing some very strong evidence (which YOU supplied on this forum) that you are not competent. (I don't believe anyone actually CALLED you incompetent, but the word fits.) It's not God's forgiveness you need to worry about if your mistakes were honest mistakes. It's the patients. You're not helping them if you're causing them harm. You don't seem to appreciate that. If your mistakes were the result of carelessness or the refusal to accept negative feedback, that IS on you.
It doesn't make me feel any better that you "feel bad." What would make me feel better would be if I thought you understood that your lack of competence, care and communication could result in life-altering or life-ending consequences for a PATIENT. Unless and until you "get" that, I would have to agree that nursing isn't your thing. You don't need reassurance -- you're doing enough self-reassurance. And as for guidance, you're not listening to the very good advice you've been given by very good people in this field whom you're refusing to recognize.
Ruby --- proud member of the Crusty Old Bat Society. Nothing but snark and nastiness with no concept of therapeutic communication towards those around her--unless they too are members of the COBS.
I would hate to have you as my nurse or coworker as you rarely have anything positive and encouraging to say.
It's sad that you are so bitter. You could stand to "be blessed."
Ruby --- proud member of the Crusty Old Bat Society. Nothing but snark and nastiness with no concept of therapeutic communication towards those around her--unless they too are members of the COBS.
I would hate to have you as my nurse or coworker as you rarely have anything positive and encouraging to say.
It's sad that you are so bitter. You could stand to "be blessed."
And you are full of sunshine and daisies. No snark or nastiness to be found!
I would be honored to have Ruby Vee as my nurse or coworker. She is very knowledgeable and helpful, and when you are open to learning and accepting of constructive criticism, the information she is willing to share is very valuable. She may be a COB (self admitted), but is definitely NOT bitter. Her information has blessed me, and I'm sure many others. We are lucky to have her around!
And you are full of sunshine and daisies. No snark or nastiness to be found!
I would be honored to have Ruby Vee as my nurse or coworker. She is very knowledgeable and helpful, and when you are open to learning and accepting of constructive criticism, the information she is willing to share is very valuable. She may be a COB (self admitted), but is definitely NOT bitter. Her information has blessed me, and I'm sure many others. We are lucky to have her around!
I'm sorry but when information is expressed in a way to clearly put someone down, it's not needed. You can't beat someone with a stick and then call it constructive criticism.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Ruby --- proud member of the Crusty Old Bat Society. Nothing but snark and nastiness with no concept of therapeutic communication towards those around her--unless they too are members of the COBS.
I would hate to have you as my nurse or coworker as you rarely have anything positive and encouraging to say.
It's sad that you are so bitter. You could stand to "be blessed."
Therapuetic communication? I though that's what we did with our patients. With our colleagues, we're more honest and straightforward so that we make sure we understand each other thoroughly. I'm not bitter. I'm happy with my career, with my job, with my manager and with my colleagues. But keep your blessings please; I'd vastly prefer real blessings from people who really mean it.
In addition, there may be some cultural mismatch. A manager who is addressing you about a serious error is not going to be as "nice" and friendly as she was when she was interviewing you for a job. It wasn't about "crushing you." It was about making sure you understood the ramifications of your error. If you continued to be talkative as she was counseling you, it may have appeared as if you "didn't get it."
Newboy,
I have attached Ruby Vee's first post in this thread for your convenience. I believe that this post was well thought out, nicely worded and not condescending. She explained the difference in the NM's attitude from interview to write up and why the attitude likely changed, as well as how the NM probably viewed the OP's "explanation/talkativeness" during counseling instead of just acknowledging the mistake and promising to learn from it and not repeat it. She kindly suggested that there may be cultural differences between the OP's native country and here in the states. I don't see any problem with this post.
Of course when people get defensive and refuse to admit that their mistakes could have dire consequences for the patients involved, some will get assertive for the good of future patients. A nurse who makes repeated critical mistakes and does not learn from them WILL eventually harm a patient. We don't need to sugar coat and hand hold these nurses. We need to help them learn to correct the problems that led to the error so that they improve their future practice. That is the kind, compassionate thing to to. Giving virtual (((hugs))) and saying everything will be okay does not fix the root problem.
to the OP: Please take the good advice you have received, sit back and do some self-reflection as to WHY you made these mistakes, work to rectify these issues and move forward.
AN is a large site with posters from many different backgrounds. Some are very straight-forward and "shoot from the hip" while others are more "warm and fuzzy."
JMCP
83 Posts
The fact that you assume thT I mean you shouldn't be a nurse from my post speaks worlds!
I dont think you should be an er nurse since you can't seem to gather your basics (which is to verify your patient).
I think you need to relax, realize that your mistakes if you keep on doing them will one day kill a patient or harm them. So for the safety of others... Figure it out and stop taking jobs. Stay there and fix your issues.