does the FOB really get cursed out????

Gennaver, MSN · Apr 1, 2007

hello everyone:
...What is it really like in the delivery room? Is the MOB really cursing at the father? I would really like to know.

I am a fellow student who has only been witness to or involved with four...five deliveries.

What it is really like is that we are all there for the mother and baby, and that each delivery, (mother and FOB and support team) is unique.

I was with two women who had no support, one woman who had her own mother and a doula, another woman who had her FOB and her mother and also another woman who had her husband there. No shouting in my handful of visit but, plenty of other dynamics going on.

Gen

caliotter3 · Apr 1, 2007

The delivery that I am most familiar with was that of my daughter. Back in those days, they were just starting to allow fathers in the delivery room. As time wore on, and my pain control went to nothing, I became fatigued enough that he started to get some words. I tried to bite his hand. I am very surprised that he stayed, as he had a phobia about hospitals, stemming from his Viet Nam experiences. He was at the point of leaving the room at the end.

SmilingBluEyes · Apr 1, 2007

In 10 years as a OB nurse, I have seen this a handful of times. And each time, the mother-to-be was not a very pleasant person to begin with. One even bit her FOB's hand when she was laboring. Another kicked the doctor off his stool thrashing about, having her 7th baby precipitiously. I have had a few lash out and narrowly miss me. I know when to step back, let's just say. BUT I have to say: This is not the norm. Most will either scream, moan or just grit their teeth and bite the proverbial bullet. Very few cuss anyone out. That is more on TV than in reality in my experience. Thank GOODNESS.

I_am_Julia · Apr 1, 2007

i've never seen behavior like that.

hello everyone:
i am a future nursing student and there's a question i've always wanted to ask this question. on tv and in movies, when showing a mother giving birth, they show her yelling at the fob, saying things like "i hate you!", or "you will never touch me again after this!".....what is it really like in the delivery room? is the mob really cursing at the father? i would really like to know.

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Apr 2, 2007

hello - I have been a nurse since 1991, and did OB clinicals in our local charity hospital. There, it was only a few times that the ""baby daddy'' was there. after I had been a nurse for a few years, I did work for almost 2 years and this was a local private hospital with differing family dynamic. There, I can remember a few times where the FOB did get cursed out by mother -to-be. What they have done a lot of the time is hit the ''CODE BLUE" call light that is by the hob. When I say ''alot'', this happened at least once a day, sometimes more than that on every shift that I worked. Only once that I can remember they called a code blue that was an actual code in L and D after I transferred to ER at the same facility. This was a lady that was 7 months or so and dx was hyperemesis grav. She was on crack and her baby daddy brought her a fix while she was in our facility. They took the baby by section and had lost mom. The baby died not long after birth.

Anne, RNC

ABQLNDRN · Apr 2, 2007

hello - I have been a nurse since 1991, and did OB clinicals in our local charity hospital. There, it was only a few times that the ""baby daddy'' was there. after I had been a nurse for a few years, I did work for almost 2 years and this was a local private hospital with differing family dynamic. There, I can remember a few times where the FOB did get cursed out by mother -to-be. What they have done a lot of the time is hit the ''CODE BLUE" call light that is by the hob. When I say ''alot'', this happened at least once a day, sometimes more than that on every shift that I worked. Only once that I can remember they called a code blue that was an actual code in L and D after I transferred to ER at the same facility. This was a lady that was 7 months or so and dx was hyperemesis grav. She was on crack and her baby daddy brought her a fix while she was in our facility. They took the baby by section and had lost mom. The baby died not long after birth.
Anne, RNC

Oh my gosh...how sad. Poor baby. I always feel bad for the helpless babies. What a great FOB for bringing the mom crack.

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Apr 2, 2007

Hey maralenn -- youre right. The worst part of all, I guess is that we discovered that mother, due to her ''employment'' she was ___ positive.(I didn't know if I could say her condition) and her SO had no idea. She had never even got started on the cocktail, and the SO was informed of the mom's virus the same time as he was informed that she died standing IN THE HALL by the OB/GYN. My heart hurt for the whole situation, especially for that poor baby. Completely innocent!!

Anne

Gennaver, MSN · Apr 2, 2007

Hey maralenn -- youre right. The worst part of all, I guess is that we discovered that mother, due to her ''employment'' she was ___ positive.(I didn't know if I could say her condition) and her SO had no idea. She had never even got started on the cocktail, and the SO was informed of the mom's virus the same time as he was informed that she died standing IN THE HALL by the OB/GYN. My heart hurt for the whole situation, especially for that poor baby. Completely innocent!!
Anne

Hello,

At my previous employer we had an ___+ mom who was being wheeled out for a cigatette by FOB. As they came back from the elevator she was dripping blood all over due to the IV catching somewhere and ripping out.

He was not aware of her ___+ status, of course we couldn't tell him but, I someone ran to stop the elevator to wash the floor and we were donning our gloves before we'd even compress anything.

Tough thing to deal with. They had one child already and she was not informing him of her status.

Gen

tntrn, ASN, RN · Apr 2, 2007

Years and years and years ago (at least 25) I had a G2 with twins on board, who had delivered at home her first delivery and was only in the hospital because of the twin gestation. Her husband, and her entire demeanor changed dramatically changed the second he walked in the door, accused me of "getting off" while I was doing a vag exam on his wife. Needless to say, I called the attending immediately and requested that he come to stay for the duration, which he did. Had his wife not been so afraid of him, I'd have cheered had she cussed him out. He was a dirtbag.

But I agree: not too much cussing out the FOB's anymore. Although I will say that I have heard some really choice words come out of the mouths of some really religious women! Making them human, right along with the rest of us, I guess.

Mrs.S · Apr 3, 2007

In four years I've never heard the FOB be cursed out. But if I had a buck for every time I heard a woman say "I'm never doing this again" I could totally retire.

mommy2boys · Apr 4, 2007

I'm not a nurse (so I don't know how often this happens)but when I had my boys I didn't yell at my DH. I did curse like a some, but not at anyone. I did tell him very matter of factly that he was not to come near me w/o getting fixed after having my 2nd son w/o pain meds (we had already choose not to have any more kids beforethe birth). I thought my nurse was going to choke from trying not to laugh.

I also said "I quit, I'm going home." during both of my labours. My nurses told me that I could go home but they were positive that I would be back and that leaving would not make the pain stop.

Erin