Why are new nurses treated poorly? - page 4

I am a new RN. I am also a 46 year old man. I graduated in May, passed NCLEX and started work in July. I started in a new nurse bridge program that was basic but nice and informative. I worked in... Read More

  1. by   AtivanIM
    I never questioned the fact that the information about a valve is important. If it wasn't noted in an otherwise comprehensive report, and remembered on demand, then the oncoming nurse can go and find out the information for themselves. In a prior comment you mentioned to let the "rudeness roll of your back." I don't think putting up with rudeness and lateral violence under the cloak of -maybe they are trying to help you by tearing apart your self esteem- idea is a great one. You seem to have the same theme for new nurses who ask these types of questions: -take the harrassment or get out of the profession-
  2. by   lee113
    It's not your gender. I'm brand-new, 38, and this is a new career for me. I started in a step-down unit in July. The nurses in that department were rude (and that's putting it mildly). It didn't matter if it was a woman or man. Snide remarks and nasty comments were what I got from them. There were staff members who were decent and helpful if you needed it. They showed you where your mistake was, or they showed you an easier way to do it. However, I got stuck with the nastier ones since one of them was my "preceptor." I asked for help from a supervisor and got none whatsoever. Firmly but politely tell them you're not tolerating it any longer. And talk to your unit manager. It didn't do any good for me, but you have to go up the chain of command with this.
  3. by   StinkMomBomb
    Quote from Esme12
    Actually it's Kowtow (cowtow) Kowtow, which is borrowed from ku tu in Mandarin Chinese, is the act of deep respect shown by kneeling and bowing so low as to have one's head touching the ground.
    Meet my mentor ladies and gentlemen!!!!!
  4. by   BostonTerrierLoverRN
    Hey, get in line. Lol!

    She's like a Big Nursing Textbook, but much more fun, complete with a Weimaraner!!!!
    Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Nov 21, '12 : Reason: Had to look up spelling of dog!!
  5. by   healthstar
    It's a cruel world. Some people are rude, their life is falling apart, depressed, negative, and some just don't want others to be better. Some people Cant keep their personal crap aside and they take their anger out on someone else. I am so sorry you had to face one of these people. I am a new grad myself , I do my job and mind my own business. I ask lots of questions, I don't care of people think i ask stupid questions. I need to learn while I am on orientation, bc one day I am going to be on my own. These people get paid to teach/ orient , they don't get paid to have me do everything while they sit on their butts and gossip about shopping, boyfriends etc. I have learned that if you do what you are supposed to, more work and less gossip, and only good things will happen. For some reason every single nurse out there thinks they are great nurses , yeah right!!! All you can do is be respectful in the work setting and only focus on the positives . There are great nurses out there who actually loveee their job and what they do, and they have a big heart and are willing to help new nurses. While others will try to bring you down to their level, just ignore them
  6. by   squatmunkie_RN
    Nah, most nurses are beyotches to new grads. Your unit sounds EXACTLY like mine when I started...the nurses were ugly during report. Now that I've been a nurse a few years I don't take their crap anymore. I'm rude right back to those nurses who were to me during report. When they miss something or make an error I point it out like they are dumb just like they did me. 1st time I got the oppertunity it felt GREAT!! That right there was enough to make this certain nurse (who thought she was God's gift to nursing) back off.

    To new grads however, I NEVER do that. We all make mistakes and its even harder when you're new...so with them if they miss something I kindly point it out....like "hey you might not have known this but ___" And I don't shout it loud for everyone to here.
  7. by   sistasoul
    This standard answer of "because you let them" is BS. Why does the person who is being "bullied" need to change their behavior? What about the "bully". They are the ones in the wrong and their behavior needs to be modified and not the innocent. Are people really serious when they say this? Think people.
  8. by   squatmunkie_RN
    Quote from That Guy
    No offense but you are 46, shouldnt you have come across this before in another line of work or with friends/family? Dealing with less than pleasant people is sadly a day to day thing it seems like.
    This person sounds just like those 1/3rd of nurses you're talking about. Sad he/she doesn't even seem to realize it. You shouldn't have to take it just because you're 46 and should be use to it by now.
  9. by   DoeRN
    Sistasoul I agree with you 100%. I care about what happens to people at a bad time in their life but that doesn't give them the right to be mean and hateful. With my job I travel for a healthcare system so I never know anyone. So if a person is rude to me it's because I let them? No, it's because they are mean. I let them know right away that I don't appreciate they way they talk or act towards me. But just because I said something doesn't mean they will change. And some people have trouble sticking up for themselves. It isn't their fault it is all these rude people we encounter.

    And yes, I have reported people for their bad behavior. I had a doctor cuss me out because I could not read his hand writing for an order I was trying to enter. Everyone was shocked I wrote him up. Why? Because he is like that with everyone. I said if he wants me to take care of his patient then he needs to write clear orders. Well these types of people shouldn't get away with bad behavior.

    I'm not a new nurse but I see this happening so much. I try to be a resource to the new nurses and students because I've been in their shoes.
  10. by   BostonTerrierLoverRN
    I honestly have never seen a mean nurse change- no matter what. MDs the same, no "real" change, no matter what. Does it suck? Yeah. Do I lower myself to their standard? No. Do I report them? Well, if I have never witnessed a change, what good would that do?

    So, the best advice I have seen so far is to let it roll off, and yeah it bites. But, I assure you, you go running to management on a senior nurse that everyone else just tolerates- you'll be seen as the problem- I've seen it many times. Now harassment, and other things of that nature are different- but just plain meanness- their not going to change for you if they haven't for all the others. The best "I" will do, is what I've already said(high road to home). This is just one of those times reality bites!! I have blown my cool before with one nurse, and it just made things really awkward for a while- and wasn't worth it. I lost I feel to this day, because I let her get to me. Never again, not worth it.
    Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Nov 22, '12
  11. by   Anoetos
    My narcissism tells me that, in my case, it is because they look at me and don't see me struggling the way they did when they first started, and consciously or unconsciously, locate negative self-judgement in this.

    I could be totally wrong about this, of course, but as I said, the meanness and negativity tends to come from nurses in their first year or two of practice, at least as I have experienced it. More seasoned nurses don't seem to care as much about putting newbs in their place.
  12. by   SCSTxRN
    If you've got a 2/3 , 1/3 split, with 2/3 being people you like working with - you've got a pretty good representation of people. Some people suck, in nursing as in every other field. Learn from the teachers, learn from the mistakes, and you'll get it.
  13. by   SCSTxRN
    Quote from RN2BKT
    I'm 44 and got the calling to become a nurse 5 years ago. Before that I spent 13 years in the corporate world and before that, 11 years in hospitality. You just don't see this kind of thing in either industry. Or other industries I've worked alongside like banking, credit, insurance, retail etc. Yes, there's more subversive politics at play, like dealing with an Old Boy's Club but nowhere, not even with the jerkiest of coworkers have I ever dealt with this type of flat-out aggression.
    I honestly think so me of the odd aggression is because we ARE a female dominated field. Think mean girl, all grown up. Relational aggression - as opposed to physical aggression - appears common in estrogen dominated environments (high school, education majors, nursing majors, even some cosmetology type professions) - and because it is not as easy to spot as the physical /overt verbal aggression that men are known for, it's easier to miss until you're a victim.

    IDK - that's my psychobabble point of view. FWIW