Why are new nurses treated poorly?

Nurses New Nurse

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I am a new RN. I am also a 46 year old man. I graduated in May, passed NCLEX and started work in July. I started in a new nurse bridge program that was basic but nice and informative. I worked in several units before ending up on a cardiac/pulmonary stepdown unit. I have been there 90 days. I still feel as though there is a lot of knowledge I am lacking. About 2/3 of the other nurses on the unit are great. They offer support and are very willing to answer questions. The other third are condescending and just plain rude. Giving report is the worst. I work hard to prepare for the report. I try to anticipate questions. I give more information than I typically receive. It feels like an interrogation. They inevitably ask a question I don't know the answer to and then they sigh and say things like "Don't you think that's important to know?" For example, I told the oncoming nurse my patient had an aortic valve replacement. She asked if it was tissue or mechanical. I didn't know and she made me feel stupid. She could have used this as an opportunity to teach why that was important to know instead of being mean. Sometimes I wonder if this is personal, if they don't like men, or if it's just because I'm new. Whatever the reason, it's getting old. Any advice?

Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.

I honestly have never seen a mean nurse change- no matter what. MDs the same, no "real" change, no matter what. Does it suck? Yeah. Do I lower myself to their standard? No. Do I report them? Well, if I have never witnessed a change, what good would that do?

So, the best advice I have seen so far is to let it roll off, and yeah it bites. But, I assure you, you go running to management on a senior nurse that everyone else just tolerates- you'll be seen as the problem- I've seen it many times. Now harassment, and other things of that nature are different- but just plain meanness- their not going to change for you if they haven't for all the others. The best "I" will do, is what I've already said(high road to home). This is just one of those times reality bites!! I have blown my cool before with one nurse, and it just made things really awkward for a while- and wasn't worth it. I lost I feel to this day, because I let her get to me. Never again, not worth it.

Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

My narcissism tells me that, in my case, it is because they look at me and don't see me struggling the way they did when they first started, and consciously or unconsciously, locate negative self-judgement in this.

I could be totally wrong about this, of course, but as I said, the meanness and negativity tends to come from nurses in their first year or two of practice, at least as I have experienced it. More seasoned nurses don't seem to care as much about putting newbs in their place.

Specializes in Psych.

If you've got a 2/3 , 1/3 split, with 2/3 being people you like working with - you've got a pretty good representation of people. Some people suck, in nursing as in every other field. Learn from the teachers, learn from the mistakes, and you'll get it.

Specializes in Psych.
I'm 44 and got the calling to become a nurse 5 years ago. Before that I spent 13 years in the corporate world and before that, 11 years in hospitality. You just don't see this kind of thing in either industry. Or other industries I've worked alongside like banking, credit, insurance, retail etc. Yes, there's more subversive politics at play, like dealing with an Old Boy's Club but nowhere, not even with the jerkiest of coworkers have I ever dealt with this type of flat-out aggression.

I honestly think so me of the odd aggression is because we ARE a female dominated field. Think mean girl, all grown up. Relational aggression - as opposed to physical aggression - appears common in estrogen dominated environments (high school, education majors, nursing majors, even some cosmetology type professions) - and because it is not as easy to spot as the physical /overt verbal aggression that men are known for, it's easier to miss until you're a victim.

IDK - that's my psychobabble point of view. FWIW

Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

What is the best way to deal with it?

Directly or just ignore it?

Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.
This person sounds just like those 1/3rd of nurses you're talking about. Sad he/she doesn't even seem to realize it. You shouldn't have to take it just because you're 46 and should be use to it by now.

Yup. You nailed it. I hate all new nurses and expect everyone to be 20 year vets and ask the right questions and give the best report. Please. You dont know anything about me. If Vida ever came on here again she could testify to how I am in real life, might kinda shock you.

For the same reason new firefighters and new police officers and new waste management specialists and new attorneys and new Wal-Mart workers and new EVERYONE isn't immediately welcomed into their new jobs with hugs and gifts and parties.

Strangely, nobody in those jobs whines about it like new nurses.

Specializes in Med Surg.

Did the nurse belittle you for not knowing which type of valve or did you feel defensive and stupid for not knowing? There is a big difference.

At your age, OP, I'm sure you've encountered mean people or bullies before. What did you do then?

Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.

Ok, everybody, I have chocolate and cigarettes.

Break time:)

I think Obama would handle this with an outdoor beer, but then again, would you want to drink a beer with her and Obama? (Ah, the ignore it and move-on advice would sound better to me- that would be a bit intimidating for me- plus, I hate beer.

:)(But it worked for those guys);)

like i said earlier. i think some of this "mean to me" is defensiveness. especially when someone doesnt ask a question with smiles and giggles.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Ruby,I never questioned the fact that the information about a valve is important. If it wasn't noted in an otherwise comprehensive report, and remembered on demand, then the oncoming nurse can go and find out the information for themselves. In a prior comment you mentioned to let the "rudeness roll of your back." I don't think putting up with rudeness and lateral violence under the cloak of -maybe they are trying to help you by tearing apart your self esteem- idea is a great one. You seem to have the same theme for new nurses who ask these types of questions: -take the harrassment or get out of the profession-
You're missing the point. The new guy didn't realize the importance of knowing whether the valve was tissue or mechanical. From the tone of his original post, he still doesn't. That nurse whom he was so sure was just picking on him was trying to have a teaching moment. That's her job as an experienced nurse to help educate the new guys. Not eveeryone is a great teacher, but you can still learn from them. So many of you newer folks are missing a lot of teaching moments because you either don't like the teacher, think you already know it all, or don't like the delivery of the message. Get over yourselves. You do both yourselves and your future patients a disservice when you whine about lateral violence rather than learn what's trying to be taught.
Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

Though there may have been teaching going on the tone of the OP message was one of the nurse being condescending. Whether that is true or not is hard to ascertain from not being privy to the interactions. It is all in the perception of the message. There is the golden rule of being kind to one another that is being ignored. Treat one another as you would like to be treated and all will be well. No need of belittleling a new nurse regardless of age who is probably trying their best to survive their first year. I work on a med-surge floor and it is very difficult to know everything going on in your patient's history. Especially the first day you are on. The only people I know that can actually sit down and read charts are on the third shift but that is not always the case.

Happy Thanksgiving.

To peace.

Sista

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