New grad bedside nursing disappointment

Nurses New Nurse

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I graduated in May passed boards in June and started in working in ICU. I made great grades through school, and I looked forward to clinicals. However, ever since I started work I am a nervous wreck, I cry before and after work and on my off days, I dread going back. This is my second ICU job since June because at first, I attributed my misery to a long commute and I moved to a closer hospital. I feel like bedside nursing is not for me, but I do not know where to turn. I dislike the 12-hour shifts, the death of patients, and the stress of it all. I feel ashamed, embarrassed and miserable. I have thought about home health but I know they prefer at least a year of bedside experience. I just don't know what to do.

I passed the NCLEX in June. I like my job but I doubt myself every day. I second guess myself constantly. I'm trying hard but feel I could be doing better, then I come on here and see I'm not alone. I'm going to bookmark this post and set a reminder so I can see it the first day of Fall 2019.

1 Votes

Cath Lab was a major let down. They did not want me there and one of the nurses told me I didnt need to be in ICU anyways, that I should go to med surg and if I could not handle that then go to a doctors office. Then she followed that by saying and I quote "Im not trying to be mean but nurses who come from the school you graduated from think that know all this and that and they dont know anything." Im already a very shy person with low confidence as a new grad so this really upset me because I never even said anything for her to treat me this way and even if she was thinking that I feel like she shouldnt have said that to me. I really dont know what to do now.

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KWRN29 said:
I really don't know what to do now.

1. Realize you're an adult and no one cares more about your career than you should. We can give advice. Your family can give advice. Other nurses at your hospital can give advice. But no one is responsible for your career but you.

2. Take some responsibility, buckle down, start exploring other career paths within the field of nursing and figure out if ANY of them appeal to you. If not then get out of nursing. If some do then go to those wards, clinics, offices, ask if you can shadow them for a shift or two and see if you really like it. Im in my first semester of a five semester BSN program. Im already talking to area hospitals, nursing supervisors and creating my own clinical opportunities to shadow nurses and NP's see which specific fields I would enjoy.

3. Get some thicker skin. Welcome to the wonderful world of adulting. Patients are rude. Nurses are rude. Basically the whole world is rude. Get used to it, it won't change. Im sorry you're shy and have no confidence, but given your entire career is based around dealing with sick strangers in pain and coworkers who are typically stressed out and cynical...you might not have made the best choice of a career based on your personality. So work on being more confident, or find a new career.

Good luck!

1 Votes
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
KWRN29 said:
Cath Lab was a major let down. They did not want me there and one of the nurses told me I didn't need to be in ICU anyways, that I should go to med surg and if I could not handle that then go to a doctors office. Then she followed that by saying and I quote "Im not trying to be mean but nurses who come from the school you graduated from think that know all this and that and they don't know anything." Im already a very shy person with low confidence as a new grad so this really upset me because I never even said anything for her to treat me this way and even if she was thinking that I feel like she shouldnt have said that to me. I really don't know what to do now.

A few things have jumped out at me: 1. You're a new grad in a high stress area. You may have to roll with a steep learning curve, or you may have bitten off more than you can chew at the moment.

2. It's possible your school didn't adequately prepare you for the realities of nursing. Wouldn't be the first time.

3. The nurse who slagged off your school may have been right or may have been wrong about that. It doesn't matter. It is the school you graduated from and now you have to make the most of what you have.

4. What she wrong about is indicating that there is some sort of nursing job hierarchy. ICU is not a nursing pinnacle, nor is LTC or office nursing a step down in the world. They all have their benefits and their unique stressors.

5. Expect to be highly stressed during the first year of wherever you go. Think of what type of patient population you'd most like to work with, then plan to build your skills and confidence in that area. Don't bother worrying about what kind of nursing would impress your friends. They're not living your life.

Good luck and hang in there.

1 Votes
Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.
KWRN29 said:
I spoke with my manager and thankfully she was very receptive and understanding. I am going to shadow in the cath lab tomorrow. This is a rural hospital, so they don't do balloon pumps or anything like that, they don't even do call. It is mainly scheduled caths, stress tests, that kinda stuff. I've read that cath lab isn't new grad friendly but I figured since this is a rural hospital that doesnt offer advanced procedures that would require previous critical care experience, I may actually like it and feel comfortable. At the very least, it is worth a giving try.

Best wishes in Cath Lab, and so glad your manager was supportive. Keep us posted ?

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Specializes in Emergency medicine.

In medical school, when students are narrowing down their specialties, one of the major decisions they have to make is whether they like to treat patients who are sick, or patients who are not sick. For some, sick patients and the environment in which they are being treated is stressful, it wears on their spirit, and they feel miserable.

This doesn't mean they can't do it, it just doesn't make them happy.

Take me, I like sick patients. If I had to go to an office or clinic and see patients that had no acute problem every day, I would be bored to tears and hate my life. One might say I "couldn't hack it" in that environment.

You sound like you might thrive more in a role where you are helping to promote and maintain health. Do you like to form relationships with your patients? Do you get a little attached?

1 Votes
KWRN29 said:
Im already a very shy person with low confidence as a new grad so this really upset me because I never even said anything for her to treat me this way and even if she was thinking that I feel like she shouldnt have said that to me. I really don't know what to do now.

Okay. Sincerely - I think you are having a bit of an emotional crisis with all of this. You're struggling at the job for which you were hired, the cath lab was a major let-down, and now a complete stranger who knows nothing about you and means nothing to you has upset and hurt you.

I have to agree with broughden #2 and #3. These are not to chastise you but to hopefully turn your thoughts towards buckling down just a little. It's really difficult to make good decisions or to even evaluate a situation appropriately with this sort of emotional flailing going on. I think some resolve is in order. Sit down and think through things logically and come up with a plan and then attack it. Along the way don't worry about the opinions of nobodies like sassy girl who put down your school.

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