I feel so stupid

  1. I got laughed at last night, by a doctor and by the previous shift charge nurse. It was quite embarrassing. What happened is a patient's parent had spoken to her private MD via phone, and this MD had spoken to her about a course of action that had helped the patient in the past, and recommended that it could be something that could be done for the pt again. So pt's mom reports this conversation to me and requests that I speak to the hospital MD about it (most of our pts are under a group of hospitalists when they are admitted...). So, I go to the front and I don't know too many of the doctors yet, by name, although I am trying, and they still intimidate me quite a bit. I recognized this lady as one of the hospitalist group doctors so I come over to speak with her and begin describing what I've discussed with the mom. As I am talking with her, the previous shift charge nurse turns from her involved conversation to listen in on what I'm saying. As I finish, the doctor states quite firmly and kinda loudly that this treatment at this time is not anywhere close to a necessary or viable option, like it's absurd that I'd even bring it to her for consideration (which could well be my emotions talking), and the charge nurse who'd been listening in starts laughing as well that this would even be considered (not that she even knows the patient at all of course). I guess the laughing is what kinda got to me. There's no real point to this post, I just hate feeling stupid and felt like I should have known before asking that the treatment would not be appropriate; obviously it was obvious to the doctor and the charge nurse (just on of course overheard conversation on her part...) I usually consider myself kind of an intelligent person but so many things in my nursing so far seem to belie that. Well anyway, just really needed to vent; that was only a small part of a stressful night (but aren't they all now that it's RSV season??) Okay I am done rambling.
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    About perfectbluebuildings, BSN, RN

    Joined: Feb '03; Posts: 1,716; Likes: 423


  3. by   SFCardiacRN
    You were trying to help your patient. If others find that funny, just laugh with them and move on.
  4. by   HyperRNRachel
    Maybe you should have discussed treatment options with the MD or with another nurse before discussing them with the family. BUT you did bring up options with the family and the MD, it sounds like you are involved in the treatment of your patients and not just being spoon fed orders. Its a learning process. Do NOT be embarrassed because you want to do what is best for the patient.
  5. by   NurseMatt
    You shouldn't feel bad at all. I am not even in my LPN program yet, but I can already tell you I will make this same mistake a number of times. I will always be the one over looking at every solution possible trying to do to much.

    It's just like any new job, you have to learn the ropes and what is the right/best way to proceed for everyone.

    I do applaude you for looking out for your patient though, it could have been that is exactly what they needed and the Dr.even overlooked it, maybe next time.
  6. by   Katnip
    You shouldn't feel bad about this. Did you mention the fact that the patient's attending is the on who suggested it to the mother? I find that usually makes quite a difference in a hospitalists attitude. I addition, I would have told the hospitalist that it would be a good idea to call the attending and ask his/her opinion on the matter.
  7. by   tencat
    Hello! It sounds like you did the right thing by listening to the patient and family. Don't be afraid to do what you need to do. Chalk it up to experience, now you know that this particular 'treatment' is probably not going to be used. And relax a bit......it's hard to laugh at yourself, but it's pretty fun to do once you get the hang of it! :chuckle
  8. by   bluesky
    If the PMD who made the phone call was so confident that this treatment would be more effective, he should have spoken to the hospitalist directly. It wasn't fair or appropriate to use you and the family as messengers. In fact, it was downright weak. The hospitalist and the charge nurse should have recognized this and at the very least appreciated your willingness to advocate for your patient like that. Furthermore, they could have used this as an opportunity for learning by explaining how and why the suggestion was not appropriate to this situation. Please don't feel bad! You were definitely set up while just trying to help your patient. I am sorry you didn't get the support you should have.
  9. by   rogramjet
    Don't feel bad. First of all the doctor shouldn't have acted that way, but they do...I don't know a nurse who hasn't been treated similarly by a doc. The charge nurse on the other hand needs to appologize. There is no call for that kind of behavior. I would tell her that and if you don't get results go to your supervisor. You are learning, and you were relaying a message from the primary.
  10. by   Templar1961
    As I understand your post, it was the private MD who you spoke with originally who suggested it, and apparently it *had* worked in the past, so clearly it couldn't be that far-fetched. It wasn't just you! It's technically the other MD they're laughing at ... via you.

    Try to hang in there. I know that can be very frustrating and difficult!
  11. by   perfectbluebuildings
    Thanks you all. I feel a whole lot better now anyway... it's amazing what a good day's sleep will do and your suggestions and feedback help a lot.

    I do realize I need to learn to laugh at myself a little easier I get too tense at work a lot of the time. And Templar I think you're right; that's a good point and I should not have taken it personally since it WAS the other doctor they were really thinking of and not me- makes sense. I'm trying to learn not to take all the "junk" that happens at work personally, because if I don't learn that, I'll have a lot harder time!

    I really appreciate every one of you, your support and understanding. You gave me a LOT of good suggestions re: different ways to approach doctors and being a go between- seems to happen often in nursing, whether between pharmacy and MD for clarifying orders, or dietary, or two doctors or whatever. And I am glad/relieved to hear you all say you consider I was acting appropriately- I thought so myself but it always helps to hear someone else say it too you know! Always helps to talk things like this out here Take care-
    Last edit by perfectbluebuildings on Dec 21, '05
  12. by   pinefarmgirl
    No charge nurse should ever laugh at a new nurse like that, it is inappropriate behavior. Period. BUT, they do it all the time, don't they?? What should have happened is they explain to you how orders from Primarys are not to be routed through family member to nurse to house MD, and the primary would have to talk to house MD. Instead of learning a new protocol and moving on, you get humiliation. yep. :angryfire

    Even though I know that people who act like that are insecure, and trying to feel better about themselves by putting others down, when it happens to you it doesn't hurt any less to know this...
  13. by   Chaya
    I would be PO'ed by your co-worker's attitudes. They may have found the suggestion humerous coming from you and hopefully were "laughing with you". But it makes me uneasy to think they were making light of patient's legitimate question. Even if the answer to a patient's question may be obvious to us as healthcare professionals, it is likely not obvious to the patient who is asking. It is part of a nurse's job as patient advocate/ educator to give an answer in terms the patient can understand and do so with respect and dignity. Sounds like you did fine- hang in there.
    Last edit by Chaya on Dec 23, '05
  14. by   AtlantaRN
    ok, other nurse laughing is inappropriate...you were conveying concerns from patients mom to doc, as the mom had requested...

    whether or not it was a "viable option" was the doc just grandstanding...you did your job, conveyed concerns of pts mom to doc...YOU DID YOUR JOB/

    your #1 job is PATIENT ADVOCATE!!!!!

    some people are just jerks...

    it's not you, it's them...