feeling humiliated...

  1. I am a recent graduate in May and took the NCLEX in July. I had a job lined up, but of course they could not allow me to start in that position anymore. The hospital was helpful and gave me the option of starting as an LPN by permit, which I thought would be a great option for me because I would at least be in the hospital setting and gaining more experience. However, I started my job yesterday and I'm in orientation with several classmates I graduated with who are either RN's who passed the NCLEX or are working as an RN by permit. I was terrified when I walked into the room because I didn't want anyone knowing that I failed.

    We were required to go around the room, give an introduction and state our position hired. My heart started beating faster and I got butterflies in my stomach when I found out we had to do that....luckily at the last minute I thought of just introducing myself and stating that I just graduated and was going to be a nurse on the 12th floor. Well, the thing I am very worried about now is that tomorrow is the first day we are starting on the floors, so now everyone will definitly find out I failed because I have to wear an LPN name tag/uniform. I am not ashamed at all for being an LPN, because I admire their hard work and effort and know that they perform several of the tasks an RN performs. I am just so scared of facing my peers and having them find out I didn't make it. Has anyone else been in this situation or have any advice? I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but it's more of a personal thing where I feel ashamed for not passing the boards. If anyone can give any suggestions I'd greatly appreciate it! Thanks so much!
  2. Visit jm1739 profile page

    About jm1739

    Joined: Aug '03; Posts: 18


  3. by   renerian
    No I have not been there but wow I admire you for having the spirit and gumption to do what your doing.

    Are you going to take the NCLEX again?

  4. by   Nurse89
    Hi jm, Not that you don't deserve to wear a nurses "tag", as you referred to it, I'm sure you worked very hard...but, enlighten me please.. How can you practice as a Nurse period? I have never ever heard of this and have been in the field of nursing for 19 yrs..14 as an LPN.
    By the way, don't get discouraged and Best of Luck to you next time, you'll do fine. TRY not to worry so much about what others are thinking about you...takes too much energy Take Care
  5. by   Monica RN,BSN
    I too wish you the best of luck. I have not been in this situation, so I can't comment on the compromising position that I am very sure this has presented to you. I did also have the same question though, In my state ( and I thought they were all the same on this.... Those that were hired as GPN or GN nurses could practice as a GPN or GN, and if they did not pass boards they were made to work as Nurse Techs until attempting and passing boards. Maybe I missed something here, Are you an LPN that went on to RN school, graduated RN school, and did not pass boards? In this case I can see being able to practice as an LPN if you kept your license active.. Please make certain I am understanding this correctly.

    Best Of Luck To You !!!!
  6. by   live4today
    How can you work as a LPN without having taken the LPN Board Exam? That isn't even legal! If you did not pass your RN, you can only work as a nurse aide until you pass your test. The same would apply for any LPN who doesn't pass boards. So...where is this illegal activity taking place?
  7. by   jm1739
    Thanks so far for everyone's input. Here's the situation - I got my Bachelor's degree in Nursing and took the Boards. Since I failed, obviously the hospital could not let me work. They later arranged for me to apply to the New York State Board of Licensing to take the LPN exam. I haven't taken the LPN exam yet, but until I take that test I was able to apply/pay for a limited permit, which is valid until I take the LPN exam. I hope that makes sense to everyone...let me know if I can further clarify any of this (I'm still learning/new at this too).

    Also, to answer another question, yes, I am going to retake the Boards on October 8th! I'm trying to get my confidence back up so I can pass them this time!!

    Well I'm off to try to get some sleep for my big day tomorrow - I'm hoping it won't be as bad as I keep imagining it to be. I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks again for all your input.
  8. by   Chrislynn2003
    Well i wish you luck in your new position; don't worry about what others think. Just one quick question, wouldn't it be easier to just be a tech or aide for the time being instead of being an LPN and trying to take another exam? I mean if you are taking boards again in 2 months to become an RN, I thought it would be easier to just work as a tech/aide while concentrating on getting ready for boards(even though there is a money difference) Just a thought. Good luck!
  9. by   fourbirds4me
    I have know quite a few who got their LPN license after failing NCLEX-RN. The pay is usually higher than for tech or aid and you are licensed so you can pass meds etc...

    Don't be humilitated.... you have accomplished something just by graduating and getting hired. Obviously your employer must believe in you or you would still be their.

    And realistically.... your peers can usually find out if you passed or not just by looking on the BON website. If they are friends they will understand and support you... if they don't then who cares who needs friends like that. JMHO
    Last edit by fourbirds4me on Aug 15, '03
  10. by   Rapheal
    Best of luck. Remember that nobody in this world has not felt humiliation during their life. Good people will try to uplift you. You have worked hard and passed nursing school- something many are not able to do. All you have to do now is pass NCLEX and there are many people who did not pass it the first try. Good luck and we are pulling for you. Beth
  11. by   RN-PA
    I feel for you and hope your day went well. On our Med/Surg floor, we've had a number of GN's over the years who had to take NCLEX twice and kept working as aides until they passed. One guy failed 3 times before he finally passed, and he's now working in our ICU and doing well. Most people know how difficult the tests are and empathize when a GN has failed, thinking, "there but for the grace of God go I." Please hang in there-- You're not alone!
  12. by   meownsmile
    Well i still dont really understand why you would want to pay more money to take the LPN exam when you are going to retake the RN exam in october, but to each his own.
    I do recommend you schedule your test in the AM,, dont study the night before,, eat a light breakfast and leave plenty of time to take a breather and relax a min when you get there before going in to take the test. They sound like little things, but sometimes that is all you need to get your past the anxiety of taking tests. I have a friend who didnt pass her board either and said the same to her, she had scheduled it in the early afternoon. Think about your best time of day and schedule it then. Good luck, lots of support here when you need it too.
  13. by   warhawk

    just wanted 2 say congrats on graduating bsn school. that is a helluva accomplishment. sorry... that u "unpassed" your nclex. however... i'm glad that u will get back up take this test , again. that is a sign of a great nurse on how they react to adversity. try not 2 dwell on what others feel 'bout u, if they r true friends they will understand. remember u r not the 1st one 2 b in this position b4. there r numerous rn's who had 2 retake their boards. and r EXCELLANT nurses. u already know this r/t graduating from rn school. people 'unpass" boards because they are soooooooo nervous 'bout taking test. we r here 4 u.... if u need any tips/advice let me know.... i'll b glad 2 help. i'm a new rn (7-23-03). and u will b one 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  14. by   jm1739
    Thanks everyone for all your support and advice. It definitly has been a difficult start, but I am dealing with it and hearing all of your positive input has helped me a lot. So far I'm just in orienation classes, I don't start a full day on the floor until Friday. I'm hoping things will start to look up soon and I will keep everyone posted. Thanks again, I really appreciate it!